Why do I want to have a woman's body.

[Abstract]

My problem is that i am not sure why I want to be a woman. I mean in many ways i feel like a woman on the inside, and i have been crossdressing since before i was 8, its hard to remember when exactly it started.

But i fear it is just a sexual thing, because i get arrosed when i read gender bending stories. Is this a bad sign. does it mean it is just sexual. I mean it doesn't make sense that it would be if it all started before I hit puberty... Maybe it is just that i have always masterbated while thinking of myself as a woman so I have pavlovian condishoned myself to be aroused when thinking about it. What do you think?

[suzifrommd]

An awful lot of male-bodied trans people get aroused at the thought of having women's clothes or a women's body. It comes with the territory. I'm not sure the age at which you started is all that important. We all grow into our gender at different rates.

In my opinion, the important question is which gender presentation expresses and represents who you are. Of course that's a harder question with all the arousal and sexual stuff going on. At least it is for me.

[AbraCadabra]

I "want a woman's body" because THAT is who I feel I am. Only then do I really feel a sense of being who I am.

Something in the attic (head) of my building (body) disagreed with the construction of the floor levels below. Always did...

It is bitch to fix that problem and not have the roof / attic cave in (lose your sanity) during that process... um.

Axélle
PS: maybe one odd thing... I practically NEVER cross-dressed...
the 2 occasions (all out in the open) I recall were like a 'home coming' yet that was the end of it, until my epiphanie - when ALL changed.

[Angel in the Snow]

I think that for some people the sexualization of it probably is in fact a fetish, but I also think that for some people, sexual fantasizing is a way to let go of their inhibitions, which lets their subconscious sex surface from repression. I think that one of the things is figuring out whether you really FEEL female, vs. simply being turned on by seeing yourself in women's clothing. The former is an intrinsic part of self image, whereas the latter is basically an aspect of sexuality. So in my case, I don't 'want to become a woman' for really any reason other than I feel that my subconscious sex is and pretty much always has been female. For me, transition is really about allowing my subconscious sex to manifest itself as a holistic part of my being.
I'm just kind of guessing though. It's best to find a good therapist to help figure yourself out.

[Violet Bloom]

This may not be something you'll fully understand until you look back on it years later.  When I was in my teens, crossdressing and mastubation coincided because they both had to happen in private and I had very little time safely alone at home.  Upon reflection about 20 years later, now that I have exhaustively over-analysed every element of my life, I can see how the sexual role and the female physicality I subconciously sought played out at the time and why I was so confused about it.  Fact is, of course it was about sex, but not in a fetishistic way.  Obviously the two have a relationship but for me dressing as a female doesn't specifically lead to masturbation or seeking sex.  It does however bring me a sort of inner peace and sense of correctness which relate to the role I desire and would give me the comfort to seek a sexual relationship knowing it would send my mind and body the right cues.  To sum up, if I didn't associate sexuality with my female image I would continue to feel as 'alien' as I do in my male form.

That is my story - only you can know for sure what your feelings represent.  I hope this helps.

[Abstract]

I think that may be how it is for me... I definitly don't just crossdress and then masturbate.

[Magaale]

Hi, I have the same question some times I believe that I want to be in a woman's body but after 5 min I try to think if that's my real nature, I like the woman's clothes, I feel like one but how can I know if it's my real nature ? Or its just something tha I want. Like a little boy that wants a new teddy bear. Im confused

[Violet Bloom]

I think that may be how it is for me... I definitly don't just crossdress and then masturbate.

And just to extend that thought a bit, I also have absolutely no desire to use a female appearance for exhibitionist purposes.  It is first and foremost a personal identity such that I would happily pursue transition even if it results in relative social isolation.  What cemented the idea in my mind is that my personality traits and associated anxieties have dramatically affected the way other people view me and interact with me.  A lot of social/interpersonal 'mysteries' from my past suddenly made sense when viewed through these 'glasses'.  For me it represented a major shift away from viewing my supposed social inadequacies as failures toward seeing them as common-sense misunderstandings because people didn't realise who I really was inside.  I now have a golden opportunity to achieve inner peace while also presenting a complete body-and-mind picture to everyone else that will make sense to them and put them at equal ease around me.  Perhaps they will also stop offering to 'fix' me if they believe my personality actually matches my gender presentation.

I would suggest to you and to Magaale looking at other elements of your life to see how far a feminine identity permeates.  Be sure to avoid the common pitfall of gendering your hobbies and interests.  That is still difficult for me.

[Kelly J. P.]

But i fear it is just a sexual thing, because i get arrosed when i read gender bending stories.

I'm similar. Having been full-time for over a year, and on hormones for seven months more, though, I can say with a high degree of certainty that a female gender identity is not mutually exclusive with a 'fetish' for gender-bending.

... Because I'm not a guy, could never be one, and would be unhappy if I had to be one! Could I? Probably. A very flamboyant one, certainly, and I would still want to appear feminine.

It's fun, but it doesn't mean much - just a preference, is all.

[Sara Thomas]

Maybe it is just that i have always masterbated while thinking of myself as a woman...

Would a woman uninterested in being a man fantasize otherwise?

There are, of course, any number of combinations of fantasies equal to the number of folks who fantasize... but you have phrased it a bit as a "chicken or the egg" question: i.e. is identifying as a woman the result of such fantasies, or are such fantasies the result of identifying as a woman?

I suppose it could go either way... it kinda occurs to me, however, that there are many ways to build a home - and the method of construction doesn't make any particular home more, or less, so...

I dunno...

[AbraCadabra]

"A lot of social/interpersonal 'mysteries' from my past suddenly made sense when viewed through these 'glasses'.  For me it represented a major shift away from viewing my supposed social inadequacies as failures toward seeing them as common-sense misunderstandings because people didn't realise who I really was inside. "

Goodness how ever so well said... it was this - but post epiphany also this incredibly painful realization how much endless and brutal misunderstandings (now explained) had been so much of my life until then.
Transition changed this, with one fell swoop - for me.


Not that transitioning into a "woman's body" solved all problems - but it solved some of the most essential problems, for myself.
Alas, the same can NOT be said for many others, knowing me from the past.

Axélle

[Sephirah]

What do you think?

I think that it may be the case that the feelings of arousal have nothing to do with having a woman's body, but something deeper, perhaps what it represents on a subconscious level, and indicative of a different drive altogether. The mind is complex, and often times the things we do on the surface are, in fact, built on a house of cards of underlying thoughts and feelings. Fantasy is imagery. And imagery is the playground of the subconscious. It's the medium used to express concepts and deep emotions in a way the conscious mind can understand, if not immediately identify.

Things like freedom, escapism, or control, for example.

The arousal aspect and internal self perception you have may be entirely separate things and based on totally different subconscious processes.

This is probably something you should discuss with a therapist, if at all possible.

[Joann]

"A lot of social/interpersonal 'mysteries' from my past suddenly made sense when viewed through these 'glasses'.  For me it represented a major shift away from viewing my supposed social inadequacies as failures toward seeing them as common-sense misunderstandings because people didn't realise who I really was inside. "

Goodness how ever so well said... it was this - but post epiphany also this incredibly painful realization how much endless and brutal misunderstandings (now explained) had been so much of my life until then.
Transition changed this, with one fell swoop - for me.


Not that transitioning into a "woman's body" solved all problems - but it solved some of the most essential problems, for myself.
Alas, the same can NOT be said for many others, knowing me from the past.

Axélle

Exactly the same here... It was like a bell going off
This is why they called me gay, fem, girly boy all those years.
That's why i liked to show off my legs.
That's why i couldn't make man friends.
30 years of dots all started connecting.

[suzifrommd]

Exactly the same here... It was like a bell going off
This is why they called me gay, fem, girly boy all those years.
That's why i liked to show off my legs.
That's why i couldn't make man friends.
30 years of dots all started connecting.

Jeez, Joann, I could have written every word of that. Never realized how much you and I are alike. Especially the part about not making man friends. Haven't met many male-born transgendered people who had that particular issue.

However, I was 50 before the dots started connecting.

[AbraCadabra]

Jeez, Joann, I could have written every word of that. Never realized how much you and I are alike. Especially the part about not making man friends. Haven't met many male-born transgendered people who had that particular issue.

However, I was 50 before the dots started connecting.

Well, guess what... same, same, here too.

With the one MINOR difference that my dots REALLY FINALLY connected only at 64!!!

Call me a slow developer... but so it is.

BTW, male friends?
Like WHAT male friends?
Exception? Gay male friends - and NOW they think not exactly 'friends' no more, and one actively despises me because I MAKE HIM SO EMBARRASSED – the poor soul 

Life, eh
Axélle

[Kelly J. P.]

 To paraphrase one of my favourite captains, there is only what one can do, and what one cannot do.

If you feel that transitioning will make you happy, and that it's a path worth pursuing, then it is a path worth pursuing. If you feel reserved, and cautious, then you should likewise be as such. And finally, if you don't feel in your heart that any of this is what you want, and you are merely searching for what may be right or wrong, then perhaps it's all worth forgetting - we all have the right to pursue our happiness, and by the same token, we all have the right to abandon a pursuit that would lead us to unhappiness.

Do whatever makes you happy, and you will have my support so long as your actions don't affect the freedom and happiness of others.

And to Hell with the details.

[Joann]

Yes All my friends in high school were girly boys and the 4 male friends i did make were gay. And im 50... Wow

[EveMarie]

Wanting a woman's body would be the culmination of understanding who you are. The feelings, expressions and mind set of a woman is held within your physical frame. Having the ability to complete the picture would be the envy of your self-conscious. There standing in the mirror, with all those wonderful feelings and thoughts is the physical structure to express it with!

[sarreb]

I tend to think about it through biology lenses so to speak. Like, if youre hungry or thirsty, your body interprets signals, sends them to your brain (hunger), sometimes your not actually hungry or thirsty from your body but your brain is telling you that you are (appetite). So your brain and your body communicate with each other, your brain expects a certain body (female), and your body isnt cooperating  So you start thinking about fixing it.

[barbie]

What do you think?

I believe in past lives and reincarnation, and I was probably a woman in my previous life.

In addition, reincarnation research shows that in approximately 5-10 percent of cases, a soul changes gender. This percentage was reported by Ian Stevenson, MD, in his large series of reincarnation cases in which children had spontaneous past life memories.  This percentage has also observed in a series of approximately 1000 reincarnation cases that I have studied.

Even in these cases where gender changes, facial architecture still can remain the same, as demonstrated in the Louise Vanderbilt | Wayne Peterson and Charles Parkhurst | Penney Peirce reincarnation cases.

Overall, most people maintain the same gender from one lifetime to another, and it seems that our soul as an innate masculine or feminine quality. Those who are innately masculine tend to reincarnate as males. Those who are innately feminine prefer to return in a female body. We all switch gender periodically, to learn what it is like to be a different gender. If a soul changes gender and is not prepared for change, it is possible that gender disorders, such as transsexualism, may occur.

http://www.iisis.net/index.php?page=semkiw-reincarnation-past-lives-principles&hl=en_US

Barbie~~