Crazy last few weeks..

[MaidofOrleans]

Haven't posted anything in a while mostly due to all the stuff that's been going on I've been dealing with.

So I came out to my parents this last weekend and while they said they are supportive they also made their discomfort with the whole thing very clear. I live at home which makes the whole situation even more awkward. Basically I feel trapped now not only in my place of residence but in this stupid male body. My parents will not let me express myself at home and my therapist will not ok me for hormones until I get my own place.

This all leaves me in a rut because I live in San Diego which is stupid expensive and I can only afford apartments with shared roommates as I work retail and while the pay is ok it's not enough to live comfortably in this city and still have money for other things. I've always been quite and introvert so my network of friends is rather small, leaving me with having to find strangers who don't mind living with me while I transition. I'm starting to think I may just have to bite the bullet and rent a 2 bedroom and cover the full rent myself until I can find someone to rent to. I have some savings but it sucks to have to pull from them for this. I guess I just need some level of control with all the crazy factors of transition.

anyways I guess I just needed to vent my frustrations..

any advice or encouragement would be awesome

[Eva Marie]

I was in san diego recently for an extended job assignment. It is a nice place with perfect weather and like you said it is stupid expensive.

But, it is also pretty LGBT friendly too. The hillcrest and northpark areas are nice and the pride event there is pretty big. There are lots of resources there for transgender people too. You could be living in an area that's not LGBT friendly at all. So i would count the community you live in as a positive.

You live at home - your parents own the house and set the rules. That's an hard fact that will never change as long as you choose to live there.

I don't know how much money you have in savings but I would personally prefer to have at least a years worth that i could fall back on if times got rough. That much will see you through a lengthy stretch of unemployment should that happen. The last thing you want to happen is to move out and then move right back in a few months later after running through your savings. If you don't have enough put away are you willing to work extra jobs to build up your savings?

If you can make the rent payments and have transportation and are ready to live alone - i say go for it!

[MaidofOrleans]

Well I don't have much of a choice I have to go for it either way. I have considered the second job thing but right now I want to focus on getting a place. It's just a pain in the butt 

[Jamie D]

MaidofOrleans, have you been part of any supports groups, or GLBT groups there?

That may be a safe resource for finding roommates.

[Erica]

Best of luck <3

[Isabelle]

Having your own place is a truly bizzare HRT requirement. Which version of the standards of care is the therapist working from?? Get a new therapist or better yet, get a gender friendly GP to prescribe you using the informed consent model.

[MaidofOrleans]

MaidofOrleans, have you been part of any supports groups, or GLBT groups there?

That may be a safe resource for finding roommates.

Yes, I attend a Transgender group every Monday. I'm going to check there next time I go.

Having your own place is a truly bizzare HRT requirement. Which version of the standards of care is the therapist working from?? Get a new therapist or better yet, get a gender friendly GP to prescribe you using the informed consent model.

The issue is my parents don't want me doing anything transitioning wise in their home and she knows that. I think shes doing it as a motivator for me to get out on my own to an environment that will be more transition friendly. She's already referred me to an endo who has a lot of experience with HRT for transgender patients, I just need to get out of my parents house to start treatment.

[Isabelle]

I see, well forgive me for being a touch blunt but, if you're 18 then it really has nothing to do with your parents to be honest. Your body is yours alone to decide what to do with, regardless of where you live. One person exerting that level of control over another is morally corrupt to the point it resembles evil.

[Jamiep]

Maid of Orleans,

Maybe check ads in "rooms to let" section of a newspaper, were a home owner may have a finished basement or en suite with appliances and washroom for rent. It may have a separate entrance. May be cheaper than renting an apartment. If an apartment, why not a bachelor or one bedroom, less expensive than a two bedroom.

Good luck.

Jamiep