Self Acceptance?

[Shantel]

Having gender issues and having thoughts pro and con about gender change we all seem to go through similar hoops to get to that certain place, but one thing that is rarely discussed when we wonder if we pass or not, and or how well we will be received by others, is how well do we accept ourselves? Thought I'd throw it out there because so many of my TG friends seem to have a difficult time of ever coming to the place where they are actually accepting of and happy with themselves.

[Beverly]

I only at the start of my transition. Boobs are A-cup, voice working well enough to use on the phone, passing well enough in public that I can eat in restaurants or drink coffee on pavement cafes without attracting attention.

I am happier now than I have ever been. I know I am truly me.

[Shantel]

I am happier now than I have ever been. I know I am truly me.

Truly the place we all want to be, it's the inner attitude shining forth that makes a difference, don't you think? I know a woman who is 100% finished, ffs, srs, implants, lipo and tucked, just perfect in every way who is still unhappy and even has misgivings about having transitioned, it seems rather strange but I get the feeling that what she's missing is self acceptance. Remember, for many the whole thing began with a sort of self loathing.

[Rita]

Those that try and rush through FFS, GRS, and etc tend to be unhappy because they forget about the important step of seeing the woman in the mirror.

With just that, I am content but its not easy all the the time to accept myself.

[ShaunaNinjagirl]

Being happy with yourself is the most important thing. I was pretty negative too for a while, but the story that I am posting as a link is what got me to start thinking positive. It turned me around and now I banish most negative thought.
http://www.firstpeople.us/FP-Html-Legends/TwoWolves-Cherokee.html

[peky]

Right on the money Shan!!

Self acceptance comes from developing or increasing your emotional intelligence. Yopu have to learn to change the things you can, and forget and or acept the rest, compensate

[Padma]

I'm discovering that letting myself transition is leading to increased self-acceptance, and increased boundaries and ballsiness . It turns out that the thing most likely to make others accept me is for me to be accepting myself. It still hurts when they don't, but it's in no way terminal. As a trans tomboy who's comfortable with herself, I get easy acceptance from just about everyone - except certain trans women. Go figure .

[Shantel]

Being happy with yourself is the most important thing. I was pretty negative too for a while, but the story that I am posting as a link is what got me to start thinking positive. It turned me around and now I banish most negative thought.
http://www.firstpeople.us/FP-Html-Legends/TwoWolves-Cherokee.html

Great article, says it like it is doesn't it?

[ShaunaNinjagirl]

Negativity creeps up on you. I would always think the worst of myself. Now when I have a negative thought, I tell myself "Bad Wolf be quiet" after a couple weeks I began to realize that all the bad thoughts I had were like poison to my soul.

Now I am HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY DAMNIT 

[eli77]

For me, I try to focus on the comparison. I am infinitely better off now than I was a couple years ago in basically every possible way. Yes, I still struggle sometimes with my body and my life, but so what? So does everyone.

I'm not half-dead anymore. I'm actually a complete person. That's the main thing.

I think some of the people who end up miserable afterwards... their expectations are just too high. This doesn't fix everything. This fixes ONE thing. That's it. The rest is up to you.

I dunno. Sometimes the trans community scares me. I see a lot of really damaged, really broken people lying to themselves super, super hard. Maybe that's the best option for them. But I'd rather hurt than play pretend. At least the hurt is honest. At least acknowledging the hurt gives me a chance to get past that, to move on with my life in a way that is... functional.

Life is not unicorns puking rainbows. It just isn't. For anyone. Sorry. And the idea of losing my grip on reality scares me more than anything.

Reading that story... I think if you only feed the one wolf. Either one. You'll lose your mind, or at least your way. I want balance. Like maybe, honestly, your life really sucks right now, and you are really miserable about your body, and maybe you need some space to just bleed a bit. And that's okay. This dream of being happy all the time. I think that's kind of sick.

I don't want to be happy all the time. I want to be happy when I'm happy, and miserable when I'm miserable. And overall I just want to be okay.

[Rita]

I'm discovering that letting myself transition is leading to increased self-acceptance, and increased boundaries and ballsiness . It turns out that the thing most likely to make others accept me is for me to be accepting myself. It still hurts when they don't, but it's in no way terminal. As a trans tomboy who's comfortable with herself, I get easy acceptance from just about everyone - except certain trans women. Go figure .

Definitely true!, when I was masquerading as a guy I would hold so much back emotionally.  But as a woman, in girl or boy mode its like the gates have been unleashed and I am generally a happier brighter person who is not fearful.

_____

For those that moved emotionally, its sometimes hard to move physically.  I spend at least 5 minutes every day staring at myself in the mirror looking for what makes it feminine.  Usually all I have to do is smile 

[Constance]

How well do I accept myself? That's an interesting question.

At this point, I've been living as the real me full time for 1 year, I've completed 2 years of laser on my face & neck, I've been on hormones for 15 months, and I've been officially divorced for about 7 months. I'm both happier and unhappier than I've ever been in my life.

I've accepted that this is who I really am: Constance Anne McEntee. It's been a little harder to accept the divorce, but it is what it is.

Overall, I'm please with my progress. I'm hoping things will continue to improve for me.

[Padma]

Usually all I have to do is smile 

Aye .

[peky]

How well do I accept myself? That's an interesting question.

At this point, I've been living as the real me full time for 1 year, I've completed 2 years of laser on my face & neck, I've been on hormones for 15 months, and I've been officially divorced for about 7 months. I'm both happier and unhappier than I've ever been in my life.

I've accepted that this is who I really am: Constance Anne McEntee. It's been a little harder to accept the divorce, but it is what it is.

Overall, I'm please with my progress. I'm hoping things will continue to improve for me.

Accepting her abandoment was hard for me too!!!

In another matter, Connie Girl, you are looking fab!!

[Beverly]

Being happy with yourself is the most important thing. I was pretty negative too for a while, but the story that I am posting as a link is what got me to start thinking positive. It turned me around and now I banish most negative thought.
http://www.firstpeople.us/FP-Html-Legends/TwoWolves-Cherokee.html

Thank you for that. I will always remember it.

Truly the place we all want to be, it's the inner attitude shining forth that makes a difference, don't you think?

I agree 100%

It turns out that the thing most likely to make others accept me is for me to be accepting myself

I was saying the same thing this morning in a different thread.

I get easy acceptance from just about everyone - except certain trans women. Go figure .

There are always people who will fit black clouds to your silver linings. I ignore them. Life is difficult enough without dealing with professional nay-sayers....

[Constance]

Accepting her abandoment was hard for me too!!!

In another matter, Connie Girl, you are looking fab!!

Well, she hasn't abandoned me completely as we are still friends. I don't know about her, but that's tough getting used to for me.

Thanks, Peky.

[JoanneB]

It took a lot of months of hard work to get to a point where most of the shame and guilt about being trans abated and no longer drove every decision, consciously or otherwise. As I ventured out more and more in the real world as the real me the overwhelming joy I feel never abated either. A far cry different from years ago when all I felt was "Some guy in a dress"

The most amazing, to me, realization of self acceptance came one day during a therapy session. Although I've said many times in the past that I am a transsexual, that time I got that funny tingle in my gut and to some point even felt empowered. It was the first time hearing myself say it that I fully embraced it.

[Shantel]

Aye .

I know the sun comes out when you smile, that's no fair you're cheating with that cute dimple face! 

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

When I look in the mirror I always say "Damn I love being a woman".

[Shantel]

When I look in the mirror I always say "Damn I love being a woman".

That's pretty healthy!