Are you fed up with verbal insults in public?

[8888]

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I dont think anyone should have to hide who they are, it is the people that are ridiculing you who have the problem. It seemed really weird from my perspective to see someone on a trans forum telling someone else to stay closeted or take a step back with transition. Speaking for myself here, I would much rather be hated for who I am than loved for what I am not. I can imagine that the OP would rather present as female and deal with the consequences (presumably just immature brats calling her out in public) than have to suffacate in the closet. (Suicide?)

She has the power to stop this from happening. There is no switch to flick that will suddenly make everyone tolerate her, if she wants it to stop she can only do it by changing herself, which could mean detransitioning, presenting androgenously or improving her passability.

[Brooke777]

She has the power to stop this from happening. There is no switch to flick that will suddenly make everyone tolerate her, if she wants it to stop she can only do it by changing herself, which could mean detransitioning, presenting androgenously or improving her passability.

Or, by doing what she can to educate the ignorant. It will not stop all the hate, but it will help a lot.

[Annah]

She has the power to stop this from happening. There is no switch to flick that will suddenly make everyone tolerate her, if she wants it to stop she can only do it by changing herself, which could mean detransitioning, presenting androgenously or improving her passability.

again, you miss the point of transitioning.

People don't transition to make people smile at them more. They transition to become the gender they feel identified with. Transition should never be judged on how the public reacts.

That would be counter productive

[oZma]

I've never heard anybody say things like this out loud... but I can hear all of their thoughts and they are mean!
..  but then I can't tell if I'm sookie Stackhouse or I'm crazy? its exhausting either way

[Nicolette]

I've never heard anybody say things like this out loud... but I can hear all of their thoughts.
..  but then I can't tell if I'm sookie Stackhouse or I'm crazy? its exhausting either way

Do you have a fairy vagina? It's a prerequisite for mind reading. 

[Isabelle]

I've never once experienced anything like what the OP is talking about and frankly I'm horrified that such things would even occur. The closest I've ever seen to anything like this is, on a public bus. There was an older trans woman who didn't really "pass"and her clothes were an interesting choice. A couple of young school girls s->-bleeped-<-ed at her. The lady didn't seem aware, or didn't care. Young school girls seem spend about 87% of their lives s->-bleeped-<-ing about something.

[Kevin Peña]

The point of transitioning is because you will curl up and die if you live another day in your birth gender.
The point of transitioning is to become the gender you identify with

Now I feel weird for not being suicidal. 

I guess it's because I know transition will be coming soon.

Anyway, I haven't ever been insulted for being trans (maybe because I'm only out to 5 people). However, I've been assaulted for being "gay". I took 4 punches to the head before doing anything. I tried really hard not to resort to violence, but I realized that no one was going to help me, so I broke the guy's arm.... I wasn't proud of it, but no one at school is going to attack me ever again now.

What really pissed me off was that one doodyhead smiled and pulled out a camera. What the hell?! I wanted to break his jaw. 

[Ave]

Do you have a fairy vagina? It's a prerequisite for mind reading. 

Yo, I laughed so freaking hard when I read this

you deserve +3,000,000 points!

[Kadri]

I've had my fair share of snickers (not the chocolate kind) and pointing in the daytime, but this is mostly from teenagers who have yet to learn how to behave properly. It doesn't happen any more. I am very lucky.

In the first week of going full-time a nasty drunk man came and told me I was sick, pretending to be a woman. I Just ignored him, and my friend told him to go away and made him feel guilty for picking on people.

There are some terrible videos of people verbally abusing trans women in public that I found online pre-transition. I guess I went looking for them wondering what to expect for myself, though nothing that bad has ever happened to me. It is probably something to do with the fact that I avoid going out at night much. It's a pity, people should be able to go anywhere without fear of being abused, and I am a bit scared to do it sometimes.

Wow....I love all your photos Barbie. I think Koreans and East Asians in general tend not to react to this sort of thing with anything other than curiosity. Westerners are more likely to yell out nastiness at strangers. That said, the social pressure on trans women in the Asian countries I have lived in (Japan and Taiwan) seems a lot worse, and there is less legal protection overall against discrimination.

[Nicolette]

Thanks. I do have my good days, but there are still days were I sometimes get a comment like, Is that a man, or something equally depressing. Doesn't happen more that twice a year but still it does hurt. Usually leaves me depressed for a day and then I am fine after a good nights sleep. I still want to be as passable as I can and so I think that FFS is a great idea for any MTF

You could be one of my Italian cousins. I'm coming from a different direction to you as I had my FFS done first, 15 years ago. Passing was more important to me. I'm only now going for SRS.

Verbal insults are devastating. It would be difficult for me to laugh off something like that.

[ShaunaNinjagirl]

If your Italian you could pretend you are the mafia,  That could end negative comments, lol.
I am mostly french with a little bit of (1/16) north american indian. I used to work for Italians though. They worked - all the time. When I worked for them - I worked very hard. They were very good people though. Plus I loved the homemade Italian cooking I got sometimes. Did you have any pics of your FFS you'd be willing to share privately Tesla. I am curious now

[Rita]

Thanks. I do have my good days, but there are still days were I sometimes get a comment like, Is that a man, or something equally depressing. Doesn't happen more that twice a year but still it does hurt. Usually leaves me depressed for a day and then I am fine after a good nights sleep. I still want to be as passable as I can and so I think that FFS is a great idea for any MTF

If anyone sees you as anything other than a lovely lady I might as well slap em real hard.  Their eyes aint working right.

[ShaunaNinjagirl]

Thanks  I generally have things pretty easy. I do have bad days sometimes, everybody does. I don't take it personally. I usually have the 24 hour blues. Then I feel good again. I do feel tempted to slap them myself though 

[ShaunaNinjagirl]

Clubbing, yay, I'll be right over (You're right about Italians, work work work)

[Dawn Heart]

I feel awful for everyone from all walks of life who get bullied. Let me say that I have yet to get actually into transition and get out in public, and so reading all of this gives me good ideas for being able to handle it well. There is indeed a time to openly advocate for oneself, and there is a time for a person, whether trans or lesbian, bi, gay, pan, whatever they are...to defend themselves if they should be in danger.

When it comes to the fact that we live in a world where coming to defend someone else is starting to trend a bit more, there are those times where people refuse to play the good samaritan just because it's the right thing to do. Let me tell all of you that you each carry worth and value into this world. Each of you is someone special here on earth, and each of you have one or more people who care about you.

In my time prior to acknowledging that I am trans, I have had many problems in the form of people having negative reactions to me, blaming all sorts of non-sense for their reasoning. What I have recently found out when I look at myself through other people's eyes, I find that they see something and / or someone different and that observation scares them. They knew something about me that I was repressing, and I think it was my voice (mostly a female quality) and my mannerisms which were not really the male alpha type.

In that light, I can in some ways, identify with all of you who have been bullied or "clocked". I think I am just discovering that a trans person can be clocked without even dressing or looking the part of a MTF or FTM, and even prior to transition if certain things just stick out if only because it's who you are and you are only being yourself. Back in grade school, people started calling me "Mr." followed by my last name. I told them I hated it, and had real vile reactions to it. THAT was probably when I should have picked up on the fact that I shouldn't repress it anymore. I did anyway.

In any case, I want to pass on this video to all of you because it goes right along with this topic. John Quinones at ABC TV does a show called "What Would YOU Do?" This episode features Carmen Carerra as herself in a restaurant where a customer clocks her and well..watch to see what happens:

[Nicolette]

If your Italian you could pretend you are the mafia,  That could end negative comments, lol.
I am mostly french with a little bit of (1/16) north american indian. I used to work for Italians though. They worked - all the time. When I worked for them - I worked very hard. They were very good people though. Plus I loved the homemade Italian cooking I got sometimes. Did you have any pics of your FFS you'd be willing to share privately Tesla. I am curious now

My ancestry is more like 1/2 Italian+1/4 Russian+1/4 British. I never took any clinical photos of my FFS, but I'll see if I can dig out some other photos of me that I like. However, I'm going back for further FFS refinements this and next year as I'm not completetly satisfied with the aesthetics.

[Aryana_V]

It was in Walmart so I made sure I passed them several times.  Each time I passed them, I would just smile and wave.  They stopped.


I confront them if I see them.  They always seem to just back down.

OMG!! Wal-Mart is like the clocking station. I hated working there. I worked in the electronics section and I swear people would come to Wal-Mart JUST to see ME... not buying a damn thing. It was so annoying. Even had fights with a few customers.

[barbie]

Wow....I love all your photos Barbie. I think Koreans and East Asians in general tend not to react to this sort of thing with anything other than curiosity. Westerners are more likely to yell out nastiness at strangers. That said, the social pressure on trans women in the Asian countries I have lived in (Japan and Taiwan) seems a lot worse, and there is less legal protection overall against discrimination.

Yes. Kadri. I agree.

There are several factors that may explain why people here accept me so well.

One factor  is that Korea is a very homogeneous country in ethnicity. I heard that some people discriminate against foreign workers whose number has been increasing dramatically recently. Korean goverment also tries hard to minimize bully against students of foreingers, but bully has been chronic problems even among Korean kids. Nevertheless, most people here do not know how to assault strangers verbally or physically.

The second factor is religion. When I was in the US, I met a few Catholics who directly expressed their hatred to me. In Korea. Catholics, together with Buddhists, are one of the most open-minded group of people. Here nobody gave me negative comment based on their religion.

Third is that I am old and have a socially-esteemed job (university professor). Even very weird teen girls can not dare to say anthing to me in Korean society where hierarchy is primarily based on age. And, I found that young people here are more open-minded and do not care so much about what I wear. However, some of my colleagues recommend me to wear conservatively at least within the campus, and I generally accept their request.

Legal system to protect gender minority is still being developed here in Korea, but current law is already enough for me to face any worst case.

Barbie~~

[Kevin Peña]

In any case, I want to pass on this video to all of you because it goes right along with this topic. John Quinones at ABC TV does a show called "What Would YOU Do?" This episode features Carmen Carerra as herself in a restaurant where a customer clocks her and well..watch to see what happens:

Best video ever!
Honestly, I would have done something similar to the last guy.

[peky]

LMAO people putting you down cause your white :p
Arent most Puerto Ricans "white?" Ive read that a lot have pure spanish or Corsican heritage...
ANYWAYS...
Similar to you, ive never EVER had to deal with this in public... maybe its because I pass so well... BUT also like you ive been given crap for other things. Ive had people give me serious crap because I was speaking english (God dam Quebec!) and because I have an Italian sticker on my car, im apperantly a "wop b**ch." So in a way, im kinda happy? LOL!

What do you mean "you pass so well...," no big accomplishment, you are a beautiful girl alright