Psych Visit

[RosieD]

I've got my first visit to the mental health services in about 4 1/2 hours. I'm not quite sure what to expect as there was a report published in June this year updating what trans people can expect in Wales. The report makes for reassuring reading and, if it's not just a management-level wish list rather than something that's being actively implemented, I should emerge with a referral to an endo and an agreed treatment plan.

Wish me luck!

[Jamie D]

Just be honest and open, and be yourself.

Good luck!

[justmeinoz]

Probably well over by now, but the first couple of visits for me were getting a biography together. 
Hope it went well.

[Cindy]

First question was, after introductions and how I wanted to be addressed and what name I preferred was.  Now Cindy can you tell me about yourself and why are you here and what do you wish as an outcome?

[RosieD]

Now that would be very easy to deal with. A properly professional approach is very much what I'm hoping for, preferably with action points and due dates.

Rosie

[kelly_aus]

First question was, after introductions and how I wanted to be addressed and what name I preferred was.  Now Cindy can you tell me about yourself and why are you here and what do you wish as an outcome?

For some reason that sounds awfully familiar.. 

[kathy bottoms]

I've got my first visit to the mental health services in about 4 1/2 hours.

So happy to hear you're able to take this new step into life.

I'm on California time so your appt is probably 6 hours past.  I'm sure it went well, and that the Psychiatrist (Gender Therapist) was freindly, helpful, and compassionate.  You're probably on cloud 9 now, and relieved that it's so pleasant to open up to the first medical professional who really understands you.  At least that's the way it was for me.

I have a friend in Las Vegas named Rosie, and she keeps a beautiful rose garden.  Always thought it to be such a wonderful name for her.  And it must be for you also.

First question was, after introductions and how I wanted to be addressed and what name I preferred was.  Now Cindy can you tell me about yourself and why are you here and what do you wish as an outcome?

That was also the very first question my GT asked after we sat down.  I answered "Joe" and it seemed so odd that I used my current name for a transsexual therapy session.  She said it's o.k. as long as I'm comfortable.  So in the group session last week I told everyone I'm still using Joe, but then said "I want so badly to actually hear the name Kathy when people look at me and say hello".  It was a little statement of liberation, so I hope the GT and the other girls know what I meant by it.

Kathy

[RosieD]

Wales in practice is a little behind what should be happening still.  What actually happened was a series of questions to ensure I'm now more batty than average (apparently I'm not) and a referral to a gender specialist.  What should have happened is that the GP referred me directly to the gender specialist.

Still it shouldn't be more than 4 weeks which will go no more agonizingly slowly than the six months since I originally spoke to my GP <sigh>.

I have a friend in Las Vegas named Rosie, and she keeps a beautiful rose garden.  Always thought it to be such a wonderful name for her.  And it must be for you also.

It wasn't the first name that I tried but it was the first one that felt right.  Dog roses are my favourite, I like that nobody's tamed them just yet and they get to grow wherever they like.

That was also the very first question my GT asked after we sat down.  I answered "Joe" and it seemed so odd that I used my current name for a transsexual therapy session.  She said it's o.k. as long as I'm comfortable.  So in the group session last week I told everyone I'm still using Joe, but then said "I want so badly to actually hear the name Kathy when people look at me and say hello".  It was a little statement of liberation, so I hope the GT and the other girls know what I meant by it.

Kathy

The psych knew enough to ask that but then studiously avoided using either my name nor any gender pronouns for the ensuing 40 minutes.  I remember the first time I was called Rosie, it gave me a mixture of shock and pleasure to deal with, both arising from it making everything a bit more real.

Rosie

[translora]

Would anyone else be willing to talk about the types of questions that we should expect from a qualified (versus unqualified) gender therapist? In other words, how can you tell a generalist from a gender identity specialist? I just don't want to get going too deeply with someone and then find out later that I've got the wrong person.

I've been looking for a therapist who specializes in gender issues, and have searched a bunch of online resources in my area. But it looks like a lot of therapists put this on their listing while actually specializing in other things (which you can tell by what they say on their web sites). I really hope to find someone for whom helping gender identity patients is a passion.

My introductory email does ask this question directly, but I'm looking for sort of a double-check. Maybe my question to all here should be: What questions were you asked that really helped you figure things out? And which questions made you realize you had the wrong person?

Thanks!

Lora
http://translora.wordpress.com

[suzifrommd]

Would anyone else be willing to talk about the types of questions that we should expect from a qualified (versus unqualified) gender therapist? In other words, how can you tell a generalist from a gender identity specialist? I just don't want to get going too deeply with someone and then find out later that I've got the wrong person.

I've been looking for a therapist who specializes in gender issues, and have searched a bunch of online resources in my area. But it looks like a lot of therapists put this on their listing while actually specializing in other things (which you can tell by what they say on their web sites). I really hope to find someone for whom helping gender identity patients is a passion.

My introductory email does ask this question directly, but I'm looking for sort of a double-check. Maybe my question to all here should be: What questions were you asked that really helped you figure things out? And which questions made you realize you had the wrong person?

Thanks!

Lora
http://translora.wordpress.com

Ugh!

My insurance company hooked me up with a therapist who claimed to have had quite a number of Transgender patients, though she wouldn't give me a number. I was suspicious, so I slipped little tests into our first couple of sessions.

"I'm concerned about that word that means being sexually attracted to the idea of yourself as a woman. It's on the tip of my tongue. Can't think of its. Starts with an A. Do you know the word I'm thinking of?"

She wasn't able to come up with the word  ->-bleeped-<-.

"I like using the word 'cis'. Are you comfortable with that term?"

She quite clearly didn't know what I was talking about. She asked, "What does that term mean to you?"

The final straw was when she said, "I had a trans client once. He used to go out wearing women's clothes now and then. Would that be enough for you?"

As soon as she used the male pronoun, I knew she wasn't who she said she was.

They say you should trust your therapist, but trust is EARNED. If your therapist claims to be a GT, but whiffs on the basic terminology and can't seem to pronoun accurately, that will raise alarm bells.

[kathy bottoms]

Would anyone else be willing to talk about the types of questions that we should expect from a qualified (versus unqualified) gender therapist?http://translora.wordpress.com

Most large cities have Transgender Clinics or resource centers, and if you need help they can refer you.  I think some of the centers also keep a list of therapists in the surrounding areas.  The clinics I contacted in San Francisco and Sacramento were able to help, but there was about a month wait to even schedule a visit.  And they had to charge a fee according to my income.  But, they also offered to refer me to a private specialist who could arrange a session more quickly.  I found they really wanted to help, and they took the time to listen to everything I had to say.

I ultimately waited to see someone inside my medical system, and they had trouble finding the right person inside their system. 

Kathy

[translora]

This thread has been haunting me, and I realize that I need to ask another question:

Is it weird to feel like I must find a female gender therapist? I know that it probably shouldn't matter, but I just can't imagine pouring out all of my gender discomfort to a guy. It feels like my guy-reflexes will probably kick in and I'm more likely to underplay the whole thing because, well, we're conditioned to think that guys just aren't supposed to feel this way -- especially around other guys.

Do others feel this way, or am I being weird about it?

Lora
http://translora.wordpress.com

[Brooke777]

This thread has been haunting me, and I realize that I need to ask another question:

Is it weird to feel like I must find a female gender therapist? I know that it probably shouldn't matter, but I just can't imagine pouring out all of my gender discomfort to a guy. It feels like my guy-reflexes will probably kick in and I'm more likely to underplay the whole thing because, well, we're conditioned to think that guys just aren't supposed to feel this way -- especially around other guys.

Do others feel this way, or am I being weird about it?

Lora
http://translora.wordpress.com

I will not go to a male therapist. I do not feel comfortable talking about most things with guys. There is nothing wrong with it. In fact, my only male doctor is my endo. All others are women because that is how I prefer it.

[kathy bottoms]

This thread has been haunting me, and I realize that I need to ask another question:

Is it weird to feel like I must find a female gender therapist? ....... http://translora.wordpress.com

Like Brooke my only male doctor is the Endo.  It was just luck that the only psychiatrist trained in gender therapy in my area, and who worked for our health care system is female.  I wouldn't have it any other way now.  I saw an untrained male psychiatrist years ago and was not happy with the therapy 3 months after ending the sessions.  So if you prefer a woman as a therapist keep looking if you can.

Kathy

[translora]

One of the reasons for asking the question is that I've found a directory of gender therapists for my city and there are quite a few, split roughly 50-50 between male and female. Maybe the transgender community is split evenly between MTF and FTM, but it seems unlikely.

But my earlier concern may also apply: These therapists may list "transgender" under services they offer without being actual experts.

Lora
http://translora.wordpress.com

[kathy bottoms]

But my earlier concern may also apply: These therapists may list "transgender" under services they offer without being actual experts.
http://translora.wordpress.com

Don't worry Lora.  I had that problem with Kaiser.  I had to call several doctors on a list I was given, and they all kept refering me back and forth until one of the therapists and my General Practitioner got frustrated and took charge.   My concern was finally sent to the proper psychiatrist, and after one last referal it was done.  Now I couldn't be any happier than with the GT I'm seeing.

So it may take a bit longer than you want to find the right therapist, but keep calling those doctors and asking if they're trained in transgender care, and ask for referals.  You'll know when you find the right person.

Kathy

[Cindy]

I wouldn't worry about the gender of the therapist, more on their experience with gender problems.

[silentone]

I wouldn't worry about the gender of the therapist, more on their experience with gender problems.

Well I choose a female therapist since I would be more open than with a male therapist. The therapist can only help you if you open up to them. But I do agree experience with gender problems is also important.