I had my second appointment at the gender clinic this week, I got up at 3 am to prepare to catch the coach to London, the excema on my cheeks & forehead was quite bad so I only used makeup on my eyes & just enough to cover my 5 o'clock shadow. When I left my flat I almost chickened out, I was close to running back in & removing the make-up & changing my clothes but didn't because I didn't have time, i'm glad I didn't.
I only had one person stare at me all day in London, as my bus stopped opposite another bus a woman on it stared at me so I smiled & waved & she quickly averted her eyes.
i got to the clinic early enough to spend half an hour in the toilet redoing my make-up.
The therapist had a tendancy to try & put words into my mouth but I stood my ground & got through it without any real problems.
At the end of the appointment he told me that i had to be full time by the next appointment so I repeated what i'd previously said about my excema preventing me from going full time, I explained that i'd been advised to wait until i'd started HRT before having electrolosys as I can't have laser treatment & due to redundancy I now haven't got the money for electrolosys & regret taking the advice to wait.
He then gave me some fantastic news, because of the problem of shaving with excema & not being able to use foundation for more than a few days at a time without causing a flare up the GIC is going to apply for funding for my electrolosys on the NHS, this is possibly the best news i've recieved in years & for the first time in my life my excema has worked in my favour, YAY!!
I've been given my appointment for the endocrinologist & my next psych appointment on the same day to save travel expenses, the bad news is that this isn't until next July
this means that from first seeing my GP about gender reasignment to starting HRT it will be at least 2 1/2 yrs!!!
I'm gratefull for the opportunity to have this done on the NHS but it's very hard to stay posotive when it takes so long to even start HRT, i'm stuck in a limbo state & feel as if my entire life has been put on the back burner, I can no longer tolerate thinking of myself as male but i'm not physicaly female so I don't really know what I am right now, no wonder i keep getting depressed.
At least things are moving forward, i just have to try & focus on the good things but it's not easy.
Sorry about the self indulgent whining, I know many people have the financial struggle of paying for laser treatment & electrolosys but I needed to vent that gripe
