Gender-based stereotypes

[Snowpaw]

Hey wait a second... I think you were pokin' fun at me! :O *pounce*

[muffinpants]

As for being treated like a person, there are some undeniable differences between genders. A lot of differences are only stereotypes, but a lot are also valid. If there weren't any real differences, being trans would be pointless. 

I thought the only difference was physical? Am I wrong? Maybe an eased state of mind that allows you to expand upon yourself? Idk Can I get an example? I thought people were just all over the spectrum regardless of gender.

But for me, I really hate the gamer girl attitude- like a girl is somehow a special flower because she plays video games... and how it is assumed that all women are nurturing and love children. Like I was at work one day cleaning up a cage in the front office for a kitty cat and some man said to me, 'hon, you're gonna make a good mother one day!' like it was supposed to be a compliment. Yikes! My coworkers got a good laugh out of that though since it is so far from reality

[eli77]

What is with that whole cookie thing? I've seen that so many times around here. 

It's just a saying. Don't know where it comes from originally. It means that someone is expecting accolades that are not going to be forthcoming.

As for being treated like a person, there are some undeniable differences between genders. A lot of differences are only stereotypes, but a lot are also valid. If there weren't any real differences, being trans would be pointless. 

Sigh... I'm not sure how to respond to that. I'm not the same kind of trans as you. If you are genuinely curious, you can ask. But I'm not going to justify my existence. If you want to think I'm pointless, that's okay. You are entitled to your opinion.

And who says that ladies can't be logical? 

I don't remember saying anything about logic in my post? I said that I don't like being called a lady. And that I don't like having my reactions gendered. That's about it.

[Kevin Peña]

It's just a saying. Don't know where it comes from originally. It means that someone is expecting accolades that are not going to be forthcoming.

Sigh... I'm not sure how to respond to that. I'm not the same kind of trans as you. If you are genuinely curious, you can ask. But I'm not going to justify my existence. If you want to think I'm pointless, that's okay. You are entitled to your opinion.

I don't remember saying anything about logic in my post? I said that I don't like being called a lady. And that I don't like having my reactions gendered. That's about it.

I appreciate the cookie clarification.

I wasn't calling you pointless. I don't think that anyone is pointless. I was just stating my opinion that there has to be some sort of difference before/after transition, even if it's only that you are more comfortable. Probably should've made that clear.

As for the rhetorical question about logic, that was a rhetorical allusion to the common stereotype that women are illogical as an implied contradiction to it. It wasn't directed at you. Probably should've made that more clear, too. 

I apologize for the misunderstanding.

I thought the only difference was physical? Am I wrong? Maybe an eased state of mind that allows you to expand upon yourself? Idk Can I get an example? I thought people were just all over the spectrum regardless of gender.

But for me, I really hate the gamer girl attitude- like a girl is somehow a special flower because she plays video games... and how it is assumed that all women are nurturing and love children.

Oh, well I was referring to physical differences. Probably should've made that clear. As for something else, women tend to be a bit less restrained when it comes to displaying emotion, mainly because it's deemed ok by society and evolution for them to do so, but it's a real difference, nonetheless, since it stems from a natural effect of estrogen on the brain to make women more emotionally connected.

I also don't want kids. They are so darn annoying!

As for the gamer-girl thing--> Shh, don't ruin that; it could actually work in my favor. 

[muffinpants]

Oh, well I was referring to physical differences. Probably should've made that clear. As for something else, women tend to be a bit less restrained when it comes to displaying emotion, mainly because it's deemed ok by society and evolution for them to do so, but it's a real difference, nonetheless, since it stems from a natural effect of estrogen on the brain to make women more emotionally connected.

I also don't want kids. They are so darn annoying!

As for the gamer-girl thing--> Shh, don't ruin that; it could actually work in my favor. 

Gotcha, I can understand that. I was pretty much crazy until I started taking some meds, now I like to think I can control my emotions and be more logical. It's something that I really hate to admit but it's true 

[eli77]

I wasn't calling you pointless. I don't think that anyone is pointless. I was just stating my opinion that there has to be some sort of difference before/after transition, even if it's only that you are more comfortable. Probably should've made that clear.

I guess I don't see how what you said and what I said are contradictory then? I was assigned male at birth and altered my physical form to as closely approximate the norms for female as I can in an effort to treat my dysphoria. Because of that people now categorize me as "girl" and treat me according to the cultural and social norms attached to that category. I don't particularly enjoy this experience. No more than I enjoyed the experience of being categorized and treated according to the cultural and social norms for "boy." But at least I don't feel so screwed up about my body anymore, which is pretty important, because otherwise I'd probably be dead.

I would really prefer if my behaviours, preferences, and presentation were not constantly gendered. I find it unpleasant and alienating. I would rather, as I said, be treated as a person, rather than a gender. But mostly I can deal with it, and I try to spend time around other people who don't obsessively gender everything.

For me there is a distinction between my physical form, which is female, and my gender identity, which seems to be MIA.

[Kevin Peña]

Oh, I misunderstood you. I thought you were talking as though gender was completely irrelevant and didn't matter, thus making changing gender presentation moot. That was my mistake. I'm sorry.

[eli77]

Oh, I misunderstood you. I thought you were talking as though gender was completely irrelevant and didn't matter, thus making changing gender presentation moot. That was my mistake. I'm sorry.

No worries, just a misunderstanding on both sides. I'm sorry too. <3

[Kevin Peña]

So much for the stereotype that girls are catty with each other. 

[Henry Lockhart]

My best friend will say "that's because you are a girl" and look at me like he deserves a cookie. And I don't know to explain how incredibly crappy and invalidated that makes me feel. I had an emotional reaction to that thing, not because I happen to be female, but because I happen to be me.

It absolutely breaks my mind, the people who transition because they want to be treated like a woman. I hate it so much. I hate it nearly as much as when I was treated like a boy. Why can't you just treat me like a person? Why is that not a thing? Why are your assumptions about what is or is not between my bloody legs so relevant to every single aspect of my life?

And please, please stop calling me "lady." What about the men's clothing and the lack of makeup and the dyke haircut makes you think I want to be called that?

The worst part is that I know none of them are trying to be mean. They are actually just trying to behave like they are supposed to. They are being polite. It's me that is wrong. That doesn't fit.

Most of the time I can tune it out.

But some days are bad. 

I know exactly what you mean. I have had that very same look from a hetero male friend of mine. I just don't get why people feel the need to stereotype so readily. What? Is the world going to be sucked into a deep black vortex if we don't conform?

[SarahM777]

It confuses that some people make a big deal out of things that don't seem at all important to me. Like if a guy wears a skirt. I don't understand why it's a bad thing or why he'd need therapy or why it's such a big deal. I've seen a few guys who look darn good in skirts. Plus, they're comfy.
It bothers me that cis guy can look and act however he wants and he's still called a guy, but I feel like I have to prove myself. (Which may just be me feeling insecure.)

But,but don't the Polynesian men wear something that looks like a skirt (and they even have flowers on some of them)? But what about the Roman legionaries and the guys in Spartan armies? (They wore what looked a lot like a skirt to me) And what about kilts? I don't know but guys throwing around logs in what looks like a skirt to me. And that is suppose to be unmanly? HMMMMM  It just seems some of it's culture and not written in concrete so to speak.

[Kevin Peña]

I'm starting to notice that girls being shy in class may not be a stereotype so much as a valid observation. 

[Edge]

I don't know but guys throwing around logs in what looks like a skirt to me. And that is suppose to be unmanly?

Caber tossing is the ultimate manly sport that doesn't involve fighting another person. (jk)

[Kevin Peña]

According to one of my guy friends, a man's thought process is basically, "feed me, f*** me, and shut the heck up." 

[Freyja_Joro]

It's not stereotypes that bother me it's the constant Chauvinism that finds itself on the internet (and in the same time they use stereotypes)...

Bad Driving is the one I laugh at. I assure you a teenage male cannot drive safely. Actually I have met more males that cannot drive than woman. It's not to say one is more inferior. It just seems that one is more... careful about it. But hey everyone is different.

Before I defined myself as Bi-Sexual and than being a transwoman, I used to despise that men were not allowed to cry. I had a discussion in lengthy discussion about this with a therapist. It seems that men, decided that crying was womanly and decided to remove this because they fancied humans as being logical...

Yes humans are more logical than other animals. But we as humans are far more emotional as well. Just think about it. We pride ourselves with our "sentience", which is "to feel" in latin, sentit (french).

I don't know it's just this idiotic dogma that bugs me. 

But,but don't the Polynesian men wear something that looks like a skirt (and they even have flowers on some of them)? But what about the Roman legionaries and the guys in Spartan armies? (They wore what looked a lot like a skirt to me) And what about kilts? I don't know but guys throwing around logs in what looks like a skirt to me. And that is suppose to be unmanly? HMMMMM  It just seems some of it's culture and not written in concrete so to speak.

That's called a tunic. Tunics aren't womanly. Actually they existed before pants did, pants are kind of uncomfortable in Greece or Rome... it get's hot and humid.

Sparta was a City State in Greece , if you want to know ANYTHING about Greece, I might know. I'm not the most knowledgeable about Greece, but it fascinates me...

[SarahM777]

That's called a tunic. Tunics aren't womanly. Actually they existed before pants did, pants are kind of uncomfortable in Greece or Rome... it get's hot and humid.

Sparta was a City State in Greece , if you want to know ANYTHING about Greece, I might know. I'm not the most knowledgeable about Greece, but it fascinates me...

I knew that but I was trying to be facetious,I didn't mean it seriously 

[Annah]

one of the things that irk me is "well, I'm a girl now....time to be submissive."

This type of thinking, in my opinion is backwards thinking. So many ciswomen strive to be independent and assertive and equal and then I see some trans girls who say "when I become a girl, I am going to be totally submissive."

That type of belief gives a stereotype that a female must be timid, someone who cannot be a leader or someone who cannot be seen as an equal. And it also gives me the impression that the transwomen who can't wait to be submissive because they will be a woman tells me that they affirm the stereotypes that men typically are the leaders.

That bothers me the most.

You can be a woman and be a leader and non submissive.

[Seb]

The stereotype that all men act like cavemen. I'm an intellectual, intelligent, I love thought and creativity, and I will absolutely, under no circumstances, use the whole "I'm a guy, you should have expected this out of me" excuse on myself or anyone else. Bill Cosby did a segment about this, actually. Very funny, and sadly accurate. Many guys think this is an okay way to act, but it just gives women another excuse to hate men for being stupid and ignorant.

I hate the whole "sex for nothing other than sex makes you a slut/douche" stereotype, for both males and females. Two consenting adults, no one else's business.

On the other hand, I hate the "all guys think about is sex" stereotype. Sex is a big part of my life. So is food. So is science. So is worrying about my bills. So is feeding my gecko. Get over it.

Also, the "guys only love thin, blonde women." I love chubby girls (and no, not a just a little pot belly, I love big, curvy women) and brown hair/brown eyes is the sexiest combo ever. It's funny, my fiance is thin, blonde, and green-eyed. But I love him dearly.

So many stereotypes out there that I really do not care for.

[Emily Aster]

Bad Driving is the one I laugh at.

My mother would disagree. She swears that women are the worst drivers on the planet.

[Kevin Peña]

My mother would disagree. She swears that women are the worst drivers on the planet.

I for one suck at driving. 

As for the stereotype that girls all listen to K-Pop trash: A bunch of girls asked me to turn up my i-pod when they figured out that I was listening to Frank Sinatra. Some people do know good music.