A Fourteen Stage Model of Transsexual Identity Formation

[JessicaH]

Someone recently mentioned the 14 stages recently in a "coming out " post and I looked it up and found the paper to be incredibly fascinating and gave me a degree of insight to my own actions and feeling. It's not a very short read but it's really good!  Please read and put your thoughts about it in this thread.

Witnessing and Mirroring:
A Fourteen Stage Model 
of 
Transsexual 
Identity Formation
By Aaron H. Devor, Ph.D.                                         
Professor, Sociology Department, University of Victoria, Box 3050, Victoria, BC, Canada. 
Email: ahdevor@uvic.ca. URL: http://web.uvic.ca/~ahdevor
Journal of Gay and Lesbian Psychotherapy, 8 (1/2), 41-67

Abstract
Coming to recognize oneself as transsexual involves a number of stages of exploration and
analysis on both an interpersonal and intrapersonal level over the course of many years. A
model encompassing fourteen possible stages is proposed:

(1) Abiding Anxiety
(2) Identity Confusion About Originally Assigned Gender and Sex
(3) Identity Comparisons About Originally Assigned Gender and Sex
(4) Discovery of Transsexualism
(5) Identity Confusion about Transsexualism
(6) Identity Comparisons about Transsexualism
(7) Tolerance of Transsexual Identity
( Delay Before Acceptance of Transsexual Identity
(9) Acceptance of Transsexualism Identity
(10) Delay Before Transition
(11) Transition
(12) Acceptance of Post-transition Gender and Sex Identities
(13) Integration
(14) Pride

Complete 20 page paper can be found here----------> http://web.uvic.ca/~ahdevor/14StagesBLOCK.pdf

[O_O]

Interesting.

I think what seemed like "Pride" to me earlier in transition sort of changed after a while into something more along the lines of "Confidence".  Pride was like an equal and opposite reaction to the shame that others felt for me.  For a time I was full of Pride, because it was my way of responding to Society or coping.  Over time I feel that "Pride" has been replaced with (for lack of a better word) "Knowledge" or "Knowing", the sort of thing one gains when he or she is finally able to experience themselves fully, over time.  Making history and engaging in experiences that confirm the truth of one's essence, identity, true sex, being (or whatever).

I no longer feel any need for "Pride", I feel "Satisfied" (for lack of a better word).  I feel sorry for those who continue to oppress me but I don't feel like I need to demonstrate to those kinds of people that I am amazing.  My daily existence is enough for me, because I exist.  "Pride" for me was a way to say, "Look, I am beautiful and amazing, in your face!"  Now I just am, even when I am not talking or marching or getting in anyone's face.  I think the reason I am beautiful is because I manifested my inner beauty and I live it every day.  Who I am on the inside is no longer something I can hide.  My body is proud for me, my life is proud for me, tomorrow will be proud for me. I no longer have to make the effort, the effort was already made and I experienced success.

(My thoughts on #14)

[TanaSilver]

Jessica, thanks for the link, this is a very interesting read. I'm going through it, nodding my head at so much that applies to myself.

There's a passage in the paper that, to me, gives a good explanation for the cause of dysphoria. It reads: "Each of us has a deep need to be witnessed by others for whom we are. Each of us wants to see ourselves mirrored in others' eyes as we see ourselves. These interactive processes, witnessing and mirroring, are part of everyone's lives. When they work well, we feel validated
and confirmed—our sense of self is reinforced (Poland, 2000). When the messages which one receives back from others do not match how one feels inside, various kinds of psychological
distress and maladaptive behaviours can result. When the situation is especially severe it can lead to psychotic and/or suicidal behaviours."

Thanks again

[pebbles]

All except that last step, I still hold the views I did when I was transitioning many years ago now.

I'm not proud of begin transsexual... I was afflicted with gender dysphoria, I then fought it I'm not proud of it, it's just something I have to do.

Also in my case I didn't tell anyone I researched then started self-medding as a means of placating the desire to be a woman (so I didn't have to worry about becoming more masculine) It was some time later that the changes to my body outstripped friends suspension of disbelief and I had to tell them what was happening, (Oh they arn't boobs they are pecs) only works a certain number of times when strangers began to disbelieve I was male, as in I told people my name and they'd just laugh at me. (Haha Did your parents want a boy?!) I transitioned full time.

Other than that a pretty good paper.

[Nero]

Very interesting. I seem to be stuck on 12. Moved through 5-9 with warp speed though.

[Stephe]

I think a lot of people make it to #13 but for some, they stop short of #14 and live being ashamed of being TS. Pride doesn't mean go to parades or spending your life being a trans activist. It simply means you aren't ashamed of being born trans.

[Anna]

" when strangers began to disbelieve I was male, as in I told people my name and they'd just laugh at me. (Haha Did your parents want a boy?!)"

Now that is a kind of transition I could deal with.

[peky]

(1) Abiding Anxiety

I was never anxious, I was in pain for the severe beatings I had to endure as an effeminate boy

(2) Identity Confusion About Originally Assigned Gender and Sex

I was never confused about, I  never doubt I was a female

(3) Identity Comparisons About Originally Assigned Gender and Sex

Really?

(4) Discovery of Transsexualism

yes

(5) Identity Confusion about Transsexualism

no

[/b]
(6) Identity Comparisons about Transsexualism

no

(7) Tolerance of Transsexual Identity

At some point, maybe around 12YO, I come to accept that my genitals did not match my gender

( Delay Before Acceptance of Transsexual Identity
(9) Acceptance of Transsexualism Identity
(10) Delay Before Transition

Yeah, self imposed due to kids, but not to some unresolved psychological BS

(11) Transition

Finally

[/b]
(12) Acceptance of Post-transition Gender and Sex Identities

Pre and post are the same, it is me

(13) Integration

of what

[/b]
(14) Pride

Not certainly of having a mismatched, but rather of having coped and resolved

I found psychology as dense as reading old English, give me a break, what a bunch of nonsense (Yeah, let's clarify, just my opinion)

[Anna++]

That was an interesting paper, thanks for posting the link!  My highlighter and notes in the margin stop at stage 10, so I'm guessing that's where I am right now.

[Brooke777]

I found this to be an interesting read as well. I think it did a good job of describing the feelings I went through as I progressed. Although, I kind of hit the pride stage a bit early.

[JessicaH]

Pride and full acceptance of self are things I need to work on. I thought I was doing pretty good with it all until my therapist showed me how far I have to go with it. I'm in stage 11 and not sure how long I will be stuck in this stage.

[Emily Aster]

I think I'm on 10, but as soon as I saw that 11 was transition, I stopped reading since I've only started preparations for it and not actually started the transition itself.

[BunnyBee]

My thoughts, a couple of them- I skipped a few of those early steps, got stuck in the middle for longer than I wish.  I'm not sure about step 14.  If pride really means not being ashamed, okay I'm there, but to me "pride" insinuates being like "in your face, world!" or maybe wanting to wear your past like a badge of honor and tell anybody that will hear about it.  I don't see myself ever being like that, it just isn't my personality.

I don't really think of pride as being a final step, but rather just a valid state of mind to have.  Some people feel pride long before they get to step 13.  Some people are happy being integrated and just living their lives.

[Constance]

I think I'm at 14, even if I'm having completed some of the others. I'm not ashamed of who I am or the past I've lived. I have two kids who still call me "dad" and I like that. I am their dad and no amount of transition will ever change that.

If that means that I'll never really get to 13, then so be it.

[myraey]

I recognized several steps from my own past. This model seem to apply to me in many ways. I am stuck at 8. Still undecided about transitioning.