Hi peoples, I was looking for some advice just to put my mind at ease. ~~~
I had gender dysphoria since I was in first grade. I almost came out at 21 but that night I was going to things didn't go as planed and some crazy stuff happened and it really impacted my life. I fell into depression and guilt and suffered severely. I stopped seeing friends and felt hopeless. I finally pulled through last year by finding the spiritual side of life and all was going good. I moved into a house with friends and everything was up. I did have depression and sadness at times but I always felt grounded through it. Okay this is where I need the advice: I am now living with my mom and dad (i'm about to be 25 now) and just recently started loosing my hair
I always had long wavy hair since high school and I am now starting to bald. I shaved my head because it was getting noticeable and I now feel like a doofus. I am starting to hallucinate / have delusions of what I look like. When I see an old man I feel like look like that old man and it is upsetting. I also feel like my hair is turning different colors (red, orange, and sometimes white.) My hair is brown / blonde. I know it sounds silly but it is happening and it is effecting my daily life :/ I have been getting really bad anxiety attacks lately too, and this has never happened to me before. My emotions right now feel blank. I feel like I am feeling nothing. Just empty blank space of emotion. Do you think my gender issues are starting to snowball into some other mental effects??? When I imagine myself as a girl I feel so much better. I feel a ray of sunshine breaking though all these mental delusions and breaking this lack of emotion that is blanketed over me. I feel hope. I talked to a gender therapist a few months ago but stopped going after three sessions. I got in touch with her and I will be seeing her again. I just want your perspectives just for some reassurance and love. Thank you all so much for reading
