so imma bring my first post back and ask the question again after everything you know about me from all my post. now tell me and this well help me decide what i should do next. for those who are new, i'll tell my story again so you can get in on the discussion as well:
i'm umiko (that's the name i chose for my new life and i rather be called that than my given name), i'm a 21 year old biological male but honest, since i can remember, i've always been a female. due to my past, going from home to home, i was assaulted countless times in almost every one of my homes. i was forced to grow up faster than most people would imagine. when i became self aware of myself, i hated everything i saw but i was so young so i didnt understand what was happening. so i continued on trying to find some stability, security, a sense of belonging but i never found it. i drew so far into myself, it nearly destroyed me. ok so long story short, when i turned 12, i decided for the first time to tell my adopted mom i felt like a girl trapped in a males body. after that i did a short transition, it was the first time i ever felt alive, i felt like my life wasnt so empty, so stark and barren, than when dress up time was over, i went back to my same cold dullness personality and well, i dont know if i'm allowed to say it seeing as it might violate a rule so lets just say it ended me in a place full of doctors. when i turn 16, i again told my mom i was a girl and this time i was firm on my words, but knowing what i new than, i didnt have access to a therapist or knew what therapist i needed so i failed on transitioning but i went stealth though it was off and on. as it stands right now, i've decided to once again come out and started seeing a therapist a month ago. i've always found that i was rejected by other males, i never had qualities that would qualify me as a male nor can i relate to males or tell you what they think or how they act. when i look in the mirror, i can see a female but with that extra piece of flesh dangling, it really sends me through the roof. i've tried to cut it off before but failed terribly. all my relationships, i've always played the female role when i was to play the male role. the only happy times i get is on the phone when i get ma'am but than of course my mom corrects them and say he's a he which makes me feel so small. in all my dreams, i've always dreamt i was a female and i even sometimes push out my stomach pretending i was pregnant which really makes me giggle. anyways, now that you know, tell me, could i in fact be transgendered or am i just dreaming?
oh both MTF and FTM can answer my question. there is no restrictions so let your opinions fly
