->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<- or not? No interest in ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s :(

[Urban Christina]

Hello! I'm a 22 year old MTF that has been talking to a guy I met on Facebook and we've been friends on it for several months now. I didn't tell him upfront that I'm trans but I just told him last night after talking for several months because I lost interest and didn't care what he thought of me anymore. He actually likes me even more now. But it's hard to tell if he's after me for sex or he really is the relationship type. I learned in my experience that half of the men will not be fine with what I have in my pants, and the other half would be fine but only for sex experiences, no emotional attachment.

But this guy, let's call him Adam. Adam is now obsessed in me and is all about me. It is my first time to have a guy that is obsessed in me since I started HRT 8 months ago because he wants to text every minute of the day now. He said he considers himself heterosexual because he never has done anything with another guy but did admit that he always dreamed of having a girlfriend with an extra piece downstairs. He just always have been curious about having a dick but still feels that he cannot have sex with someone that looks like a man. So I'm "perfect" for him.

We talked for hours and hours that night because I wanted to see what he was after for. He swears that he doesn't want just an one night stand and that he is open to dating if we start hanging out. He even already mentioned that he is fine with me not being able to have kids but also would be open to adoption. I get called "beautiful" by him over 30 times. I think he's handsome and don't see a problem with him but one thing that turns me off- he's a cigarette smoker. He said he has only one stick a day now and WILL quit for me. I jokingly said that I like to wait 1-6 months for a smoker's body to clean out before I'd agree to meet and he said he would wait that long.

So, does he sound like a ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<- or does it sound like I have a chance of having a man and should give him a chance?

[kinz]

he's a creep.

keep yourself safe.

[=celestica=]

What's the matter with guys who are into girls with penises?

If you were brunette and short would you be turned off by a guy that loves short brunettes?

[=celestica=]

he's a creep.

keep yourself safe.

lol.

[BunnyBee]

He said he considers himself heterosexual because he never has done anything with another guy but did admit that he always dreamed of having a girlfriend with an extra piece downstairs.

This is basically the definition of a ->-bleeped-<-, at least to me, and his obsessing is a bad sign cherry on top.

[Emily Aster]

I have mixed feelings on this one. At a first glance, I'd say he's feeding you lines just to get you into bed. Maybe not for sex, but at least to confirm the image in his mind. But on the other hand, talking about adoption and stuff is a little over-the-top so I'd consider giving him a chance. Maybe take it really slow, slow enough that someone after sex would leave and take it from there.

I take the last half of that back. I missed the last couple sentences of your post. He smokes and will quit for you without ever having a date? Yeah he's feeding you lines. Nobody quits smoking for someone they just met. He knows it will make you happy.

[BunnyBee]

What's the matter with guys who are into girls with penises?

If you were brunette and short would you be turned off by a guy that loves short brunettes?

Assumptions built in here, but it's because he is WAY into the very thing that causes you mega dysphoria.  How is that compatible?

With that said I think you have to evaluate people on an individual basis and not let some label tell you whether you think it could work with somebody or not, but this guy seems so.... eager.  That would scare me a bit.

[Heather]

I think you should stay away from him! He sounds like a total perv to me! What is he going do if you SRS is he going to lose complete interest in you cause you no longer have a penis? And he's going to give up smoking for you it's amazing how a man will say anything to get a woman into bed.

[=celestica=]

Assumptions built in here, but it's because he is WAY into the very thing that causes you mega dysphoria.  How is that compatible?

With that said I think you have to evaluate people on an individual basis and not let some label tell you whether you think it could work with somebody or not, but this guy seems so.... eager.  That would scare me a bit.

No i mean, the guy is a creep.
If he's texting the poor girl non-stop and she doesn't like it.

But what's wrong with a that "kind" of man(who is sane) being with a woman who is okay with her male genetalia?

[MaidofOrleans]

He just sounds super clingy.

[=celestica=]

He sounds like a total perv to me!

All men are perverts, it's their nature.
But is a man a pervert for liking a girl with a penis? No.

[BunnyBee]

No i mean, the guy is a creep.
If he's texting the poor girl non-stop.

But what's wrong with a that "kind" of man(who is sane) being with a woman who is okay with her male genetalia?

Okay with it is one thing, being super into it is another.

[Heather]

He just sounds super clingy.

Never a good sign.

[Emily Aster]

No i mean, the guy is a creep.
If he's texting the poor girl non-stop.

But what's wrong with a that "kind" of man(who is sane) being with a woman who is okay with her male genetalia?

There's nothing wrong with someone like that. It's just that the information in the OP's post makes this particular one sound like someone she needs to stay away from.

[Heather]

All men are perverts, it's their nature.
But is a man a pervert for liking a girl with a penis? No.

You do make a good point. But I would still stay away from him if it was me I want a guy to like me for me and not for whats between my legs. But I think I'm just dreaming!

[kinz]

All men are perverts, it's their nature.
But is a man a pervert for liking a girl with a penis? No.

course he's not a pervert because he's into it, he's a creep because he doesn't understand boundaries.
but it sounds like he fetishizes being trans, too.
which ain't a great place to be, on the receiving end of someone's fetishization.

[~RoadToTrista~]

I think you need to decide that yourself. Nobody here actually knows him, lol

[Heather]

I think you need to decide that yourself. Nobody here actually knows him, lol

Very true good advice.

[Beth Andrea]

I agree, I think he's obsessed. Bad juju going on here.

I'd feel differently if, after you told him, he was like, "Oh, hey that's kinda cool! Tell me about the process, etc" instead of talking about wanting a girl with "an extra part" right up front.

I vote no, drop him, just say you're not comfortable but will keep his number/name, etc in case you change your mind. (Don't give him yours)

[Adam (birkin)]

As a guy who will date both cis women and trans women, I will just say this. there is a difference between someone who doesn't mind a girl having a penis and someone who thinks a girl having a penis is different or a fantasy.

At the end of the day, it's about you and your comfort levels. If you're not comfortable with him, then you shouldn't date him, ->-bleeped-<- or not. However, I personally would refuse to date anyone who thought I was a different sort of man for having a vagina or who found my vagina to be a fantasy. Period.