Do I Look Female? (Ver 2.0)

[Jessicat]

Heya 

First time posting 14 and a half months on HRT and age 25:

[=celestica=]

Heya 

First time posting 14 and a half months on HRT and age 25:

pass.
cute hair
(check my posts, i hardly ever comment on these threads since my views on passability differ from pretty much everyone else on here.)

[V M]

Hi  Jessicat    You are rather pretty

Welcome to Susan's

You need to make your way over to the 'Fabulous' thread, you might also consider posting an intro post in the introductions area


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Hugs

V M

[jamielikesyou]

I know I can take a good picture.  I can swoop my hair around my face to round it, cover my nose, take a hundred pictures to get just the right angle...

But I feel as if I can't take a good video (meaning real life).  My dysphoria has been weird today.  I went out to the therapist dressed in girl mode and everything went fine because I only walked by a couple of people on the way there.  But, I came home and turned my phone around and shot a video of myself and was like bbbbbrrwaawrrrrrrr god I hate it.  But what's weird is that when I look at myself in a mirror after I paint up my face and get in the right clothes, I see a girl a lot of the time.

So, I decided to be as mean to myself as possible and take emotionless front, side, and angle pictures with my hair BACK so I can't hide behind it.

These are with foundation, powder, highlight, and eyeliner

I think you have a very pretty and effeminate profile (which is allegedly a lot of girls downfall.)

[tomthom]

Where I stand now, been refining my look a little. I go out like this a lot. I don't try to pass but I'm just wondering how people might initially be reading me. What do you think? 

you pass 100%. I wouldn't even doubt for a second that you are genetic.

[Kelly J. P.]

pass.
cute hair
(check my posts, i hardly ever comment on these threads since my views on passability differ from pretty much everyone else on here.)

Which is a bit of a shame, since a well-rounded culture of replies is what a person posting in "Do I Pass?" needs.

[=celestica=]

Which is a bit of a shame, since a well-rounded culture of replies is what a person posting in "Do I Pass?" needs.

Nah, most tg people's attitude come off as delusional and i'd just seem like a "big bad bully"(what some of y'all probably would say.)

[tomthom]

I think we need some "big bad bullies" on threads like this. a drop of objectivity is worth more than any comforting lie.

[Kelly J. P.]

Nah, most tg people's attitude come off as delusional and i'd just seem like a "big bad bully"(what some of y'all probably would say.)

Well, while I can see where you're coming from, it's helpful for people posting in this thread to be exposed to a variety of perspectives. I mean, some people here might end up crying, or something, but it's better than them finding out the hard way - if such a thing were to happen.

I suppose that's up to you, though. You may take a hit in your popularity if you did all that, as you noted. However, if you think I'm delusional, I would appreciate the insight - via PM, if you're uncomfortable with public communication.

For your consideration.

I think we need some "big bad bullies" on threads like this. a drop of objectivity is worth more than any comforting lie.

Aye.

[Jamie D]

The term you all are looking for is

"constructive criticism."

I don't want to see anybody bullied.  And I want you to keep in mind, that some who post here, especially new members, might very well be at a fragile moment.  Not many of you see the suicide posts, because we often take them down, but quite a few hinge on passing issues.  So, be cognizant that what you post could drive someone over the edge.

If you want "feel good," go over to the Fabulous topic - that is what it is for.  And if you can't take honest comments, don't post images.  We all can be honest without using a bludgeon.

[Kelly J. P.]

  And I want you to keep in mind, that some who post here, especially new members, might very well be at a fragile moment.  Not many of you see the suicide posts, because we often take them down, but quite a few hinge on passing issues.  So, be cognizant that what you post could drive someone over the edge.

Yes, that's fair. And, as you stated, such fragile people shouldn't be posting images in this thread. As a guideline, if you think that a negative response to your pictures would change your life or how you feel about yourself in a significant way, then don't post pictures.

I know that we, especially on this forum, have to be careful of catalyzing suicide. However, this thread is one of a few places where that kind of sensitivity is not helpful - so, I restate that it would be important to emphasize that one should only post pictures in this thread if they know they can handle unfavourable feedback. It would also be a good idea to emphasize the importance of honesty in this thread - if someone is told that they pass because someone was too kind to say otherwise, and then said someone goes out and gets ridiculed, their emotional well-being is instantly jeopardized.

I expect honesty, and I deal it. I hope that our fragile members take care of themselves, and avoid this thread until they have reached a steady state. The possibility of harming someone should not be causing a "Do I Pass" thread to turn into a feel-good ->-bleeped-<-. That's the Fabulous thread.

So, I agree.

[suzifrommd]

And, as you stated, such fragile people shouldn't be posting images in this thread.

May I point out that someone may not know just how fragile they are until their bubble bursts.

Happened to me. I posted a voice recording that got savaged. I figured I could take it until I saw the cascade of negative votes and I went into a funk that lasted weeks. So lets deliver our truth gently.

[Charley Bea(EmeraldP)]

Speaking as someone who has been suicidal in the past, I for one can say that I do not not know what will upset me and what won't Sometimes a few negative comments will have no effect on me while other times it is all that it takes to send me into a dark place where I not only don't leave my room but don't even want to get out of bed.

Still all that said a little honesty can help aswell.

[ZoeM]

Trigger warning, maybe? In the topic title?

[Hideyoshi]

Not gonna lie, I'm kinda sad right now

But I feel it had to be done. No full time minus work yet for Hideyoshi~

[tomthom]

I'm aware the term is called constructive criticism. I'm pretty sure that's why we were using quotes to signify that.

But yes. a trigger warning could help if anybody wants to change the title or make a faq regarding it.

[Anna++]

I think we need some "big bad bullies" on threads like this. a drop of objectivity is worth more than any comforting lie.

I agree that honesty is important in threads like this, so maybe find a nice way to be honest?

[Jamie D]

If anyone has any questions about the purpose of this topic, please refer back to the opening post.

"Do I pass?" is an important question to those of us who anticipate a RLE, or contemplate FFS, or just want to be as nearly whole as we can be.  I am not asking anyone to be dishonest.  Just to not be savage.

[V M]

I think we need some "big bad bullies" on threads like this. a drop of objectivity is worth more than any comforting lie.

I think this is a support site for trans people, constructive criticism is welcome, "big bad bullies" will be shown the door

Hi friends 

Please remember when giving a critique to use a degree of tact and give advise that is actually helpful not harmful or hurtful

An opinion can be given without clubbing someone over the head

Hugs

V M

[jamielikesyou]

Not gonna lie, I'm kinda sad right now

But I feel it had to be done. No full time minus work yet for Hideyoshi~

I think passing has a lot to do with poise, confidence, mannerisms, articulation, etc, etc, etc. than simply appearances. Not to discount appearances, but from what I'm told, there is a lot that can and should be done. "Passing," I hope does not mean we all have to supermodel thin, have extensive FFS, etc. I wouldn't use negativity expressed on an internet forum to decide the timing of my decision making process to go part or full time.

Maybe we need a link to post in that runs the lines of "What can I do do pass more convincingly?"

You are pretty and have strengths Hideyoshi . Yeah, there are things you just as anyone here can do to pass more convincingly. That's the question I'll ask when the time comes. Best wishes