your "real voice"?

[Marlowe]

I'm sure this has been done over and over on here, sorry if it has. I'm new around here.

I'm pre-everything and the ONE thing, above all else, that I ache for is having my real voice come out of my mouth. Is this common? Of course I want a flat chest and other changes... I want to pass in other ways. But for me my voice seems so personal, such a huge part of my internal self. The idea of my voice matching the voice in my head I've had my whole life, just the idea that it's even possible makes me so happy. It really motivates me to keep moving forward with my chin up.

Anybody else know that feeling? How about guys who've been on T for a while, how does it feel to have the voice you do now? Do you feel more confident speaking? Does it feel like your "real voice"?

[supremecatoverlord]

It feels like I finally went through the right puberty and this is the voice I was always supposed to have. I don't know why it wouldn't.

[Edge]

Anybody else know that feeling?

Yep. I feel similar except mine is equal to the rest of my body dysphoria. It doesn't help that my voice is high for a female never mind a male. It doesn't sound like me at all. I can't wait to get on T.

[ChimeraInside]

I have a lot of dysphoria about my voice too, especially when it comes to involuntary noises that always seem to come out as not-me as possible. When I went through puberty my voice dropped a little and I remember being SO excited and making it crack as much as possible. For a little while I thought it was a sign that I was going to go through male puberty... ha :/

I have a medium depth voice for a female judging by most women I know, but to me I just sound like a 13 year old boy and it drives me crazy. I like the inflection/cadence of my voice (not sure those are the right words), but it needs to be deeper. For the last two months I've been working on speaking from my chest instead of my head and that's helped it to sound a little better more often. It's started cracking again if I talk for a while because of that, too, but I don't mind. Now I just have to be patient for a few months and wait for T to work its magic

[Simon]

Before T I sounded like a raspy teenage boy. I've been on T six weeks and my voice has definitely had one good drop so far an continuously cracks. It's nice not to feel like I need to drop my voice on the phone or even going out to eat is different. I don't get weird about talking to the waiter/waitress. I use to hate talking to anyone I didn't know. It's getting better.

[FTMDiaries]

I have a lot of dysphoria about my voice too, especially when it comes to involuntary noises that always seem to come out as not-me as possible. When I went through puberty my voice dropped a little and I remember being SO excited and making it crack as much as possible. For a little while I thought it was a sign that I was going to go through male puberty... ha :/

Same here! When puberty hit me I deliberately tried to force my voice as deep as it could go, in the hope that the hormonal changes would help it settle into a deeper pitch. Didn't work though.

Every time I speak it has always sounded weird to me - way to feminine for my tastes. I'm really looking forward to T.

[Natkat]

personally my voice pre T where more "pretty" and I where better at singing, but it dose feel nice not to worry about it anymore as I used to do.

before I took T I always had to worry about my voice cause it where the biggest fact whatever I would pass or not, and I guess it still is.. I wasnt very confortable in singing im still shy but its cause I think it might sound horrible, back then I knew I could do a great voice and yet I couldnt show it cause it would give me away. like love and hate, love the sound just not from me cause it makes them think im female.. also when I where on the buss or something I would make my voice twice as deep if I told them I where to get off just to pass for a slight moment, I still dont need to worry about that.. its just simple compared

[Jeatyn]

I always wanted a deeper voice but now I have one, I sometimes talk or sing and I'm like "woah, is that what I sound like...that's weird" - doesn't feel like my real voice at all

I do like it much better, my voice is so much louder and I can feel the bass of it resonating from my chest - that makes me feel I can take charge and be more assertive, something I never did pre-T.

My singing voice sounds like crap at the moment, but I think that's just something I'll have to get used to. I've done a lot of performing in my life and took professional singing lessons for years to perfect my female voice...I now have to re-learn everything on my own with trial and error....my voice is still changing and will be for a long time I would imagine, so it'll be a long process.

[MoonWolf]

Yeah I feel you.  I don't like my voice.  I can pass completely, but then I open my mouth and it gives me away.  It's too high pitched and I don't like it.  I want a deep voice, it'd fit me so much better.

[Natkat]

its wierd, before if I where worried whatever or not I passed I would make sure not to speak,
now if I am unsure whatever or not I pass I just make sure to speak XD

[Jeatyn]

its wierd, before if I where worried whatever or not I passed I would make sure not to speak,
now if I am unsure whatever or not I pass I just make sure to speak XD

haha same here

[Ribbons]

I consider my voice 'real' but I consider it prepubescent. I get anxieties over it like a boy whose voice hasn't dropped yet. My voice is rather embarrassing to me, but I have worse things to worry about when it comes to my voice than its tone.. 

[Clay]

Voice is really very imortant for me, at times i literally cringe at how I sound... like usually I'm used to control and force it pretty low, and I'm fine with how it comes out and I'm comfortable around my friends and such, but every so often we fool around and it gets silly and sadly there's no means of controlling anymore and the fun's done for me. Disgusting, really.

Also I suspect this was one of the main problems that f***d up my education (well, not really, just made it so draining and uncomfortable) because I really just couldn't speak in school and uni. Whenever the possibility of me having to say something publicly came up my mind went like totally blank and I felt like my head was stuffed with candy floss... Teachers and m parents just thought I was shy, and I believed so too, but after doing some serious reflection I grasp there always was something more to it.

[Shang]

My voice is about the medium pitch for a woman and it'll probably stay that way until T.  I dislike it when I try to make it lower because it sounds forced and because it prevents me from putting in all of the inflections I like to use while talking.  I'm not a monotone kind of person and I probably never will be which is why all of the suggestions many FtM people put out about passing the voice just doesn't work with me.

[John Smith]

I have always been ok with my voice (apart from when singing :p ). Before I started T I met up with a speech therapist who was working finding out whether or not the gender clinic should offer voice training to ftm's, and how much of an impact T had. They were getting voice samples before T, and were supposed to get some after a while on T. I never heard more about it, so I don't know if they dropped the project. Anywhoo, the conclusion was that I already had a fairly low voice for a female. It's gotten quite a bit deeper on T, but sometimes I can hear my old pitch making a visit.

[supremecatoverlord]

I have always been ok with my voice (apart from when singing :p ). Before I started T I met up with a speech therapist who was working finding out whether or not the gender clinic should offer voice training to ftm's, and how much of an impact T had. They were getting voice samples before T, and were supposed to get some after a while on T. I never heard more about it, so I don't know if they dropped the project. Anywhoo, the conclusion was that I already had a fairly low voice for a female. It's gotten quite a bit deeper on T, but sometimes I can hear my old pitch making a visit.

How long have you been on testosterone?
I'm asking because my voice was also bit lower for "female range", but I've been on testosterone for a year and half now and never even come close to resembling my old voice in pitch when I speak any longer.

[Jav]

voice is really important. was really happy when it started cracking pretty much a week into T. now 19 months later, it's very deep, deeper than some of my cismale friends. in fact, some of them are quite envious of my deep voice. i love the way it rumbles from deep inside my chest ) the best! i used to work for a television a long time ago, and every time i saw myself and heard myself it was the voice that made me cringe, more than anything. it wasn't even that high, but it just never was what i thought it must sound like.

[Felix]

Yes. I always felt like I talked like Kermit the Frog until testosterone changes kicked in. Now I don't care what my voice sounds like because it feels natural.

[John Smith]

How long have you been on testosterone?
I'm asking because my voice was also bit lower for "female range", but I've been on testosterone for a year and half now and never even come close to resembling my old voice in pitch when I speak any longer.

Been on T for two years and a half. I can hear traces of "that old pitch" when my voice goes high from stress/strain or stuff like that.

[FTMDiaries]

Heh, I just noticed this morning that my voice has gone about an octave lower. Sadly this is temporary as it's due to my having a cold at the moment, but it feels so much nicer.