So a few weeks back I posted something about a girl and being torn between myself and her and ultimately I didn't make any decisions and I've just been think a lot. The more and more I think, the more I am doubting myself and everything I worked hard for the 8 months and I can't rationalize why I should stop doubting myself. I don't know why not it's happening but it's just getting progressively harder to be honest. The idea of being a fully passable female makes me so happy, that would be so ideal honestly, but I keep asking myself if I could just suck it up and live as a male and marry a girl and have kids since I already lived as a male for 20 years and I don't absolutely hate being male, I strongly dislike it, but I noticed something about myself yesterday. I was playing basketball at our rec center and I hadn't been able to play in while due to a surgery I had for my lung and I was doing pretty well considering and playing fairly physical as well. That competitiveness as well as drive and masculinity didn't bother me, if anything I enjoyed being that "guy" in those games. I just connected my previous doubt with this as well as the fact that I don't absolutely hate my body, I've had sex with a girl before as a male and although I didn't love it, I didn't hate it either and I was able to function normally. So I asked myself the question, why am I transitioning still? Also should I stop for now and see how I feel? I couldn't find a valid reason for either question, so I find myself full of doubt and in the unknown and I'm still taking hormones and any day I could become permanently sterile. I'm really sorry if this "rant" "esk" but I honestly have no idea what to do. When I made the decision to transition I was 100% sure it was the right decision and I even told everyone in my life that was important to me which says a lot about me because I always portrayed that "straight male" so me coming out was a big deal. So the thought of having to tell them, oh just kidding is also terrifying me as well. I know this is a ton of information to digest, but at this point I didn't know what else to do so I really hope by talking to you all, maybe I can figure out what to do exactly. Sorry again for the long post and thank you all for your support for my transition, it has meant so much to me and it truly has been helping exponentially. Any advice can help!