Using the men's room

[Shantel]

Hah, I suppose that you think I screwed up and started a post in the wrong forum, not so. Orihime made a comment in another forum thread that is so absolutely right on the money which set me to thinking about how you all need some encouragement to be the real you. You may know that I have had chats with more than a few FtM friends here at Susan's and am a friend to most everyone so I'd like to put a challenge forward to all of you concerning using the men's room.

We all know how intimidating using "the other bathroom" can be for everyone but I'd like to see you FtM guys get some kahones and quit quaking in your shoes over this and just give it a shot and go into the men's room and do your stuff and leave. It will be a huge confidence builder for you no matter what and something you will have to overcome and do eventually anyway. No-one's going to look at you or even acknowledge your presence. Trust me on this, it just isn't done. I still use men's rooms because I still present primarily as androgynous male and walk in with these rockets on my chest in my underwire bra under my T shirt which accentuates it and no-one has ever said a word to me, I have not been beat up. If you want to use the stall no-one will notice. See my link below and you'll have to admit to yourself that there is absolutely no difference between me and any pre-op FtM. Cis men just have this stupid phobia about not talking to or even making eye contact with anyone in the john. You are totally safe!

[ford]

maybe I'll go find a mens room in the darkest most desolate corner of the library where I'm sure to run into no one. Does that defeat the purpose? 

[Liminal Stranger]

My cahones need to grow a bit more but occasionally they appear and I go in there without so much as a nervous look around. Never got a single look- again, for some reason I magically pass to some people irl and then don't to others. Need to get that down without setting off the trans alarm in my house somehow 

Someday said cahones shall drop and then I will be a man and use the right bathroom in school. O, frabjous day...

Edit: Lol just noticed that.

[natastic]

I certainly don't mean any disrespect, but I don't think this kind of a thread is entirely appropriate.  Just my opinion, but I feel like I would be a little put off if I was reading your post as a member of its target audience.

[ford]

I certainly don't mean any disrespect, but I don't think this kind of a thread is entirely appropriate.  Just my opinion, but I feel like I would be a little put off if I was reading your post as a member of its target audience.

I certainly don't mind it, and I do need encouragement honestly. My therapist (who is trans herself) was gently encouraging me to do the same thing this past week. There is no way to transition if you don't leave your little bubble of comfort at some point. The key is to do it in little manageable steps, and stay realistic. Which is why I fully intend to find a completely abandoned mens room first...

[DreadLOX]

Luckily it didn't take.me long.to.start.using the men's room and that's all I ever use now. I don't mind using the men's in places like restrants and for instance Walmart or any department store or mall. My only issue is when I go to places like bars. If the bathroom has more than on toilet and an actual stall for privacy I'm good. The one place I went too had a urinal and a toilet in one room (no seperate divider or privacy)  and the door didn't lock, so right when I was about to do my business a drunk guy walked in. Luckily I got everything situated before he saw anything. Otherwise I have have complete confidence in the men's room and was even chatting with some guys who were talking about how the one guy puked his brains out. I was only 3 months on T at the time too. No one questioned me and I was completely accepted. I thing alot of guys work themselves up about it. I realize though it can be scary at first.

[DriftingCrow]

I'll give it a shot tomorrow (if I remember tomorrow....). I've been in the men's room before, but it's been many years, so it'll be good to try again.

[Ayden]

I was worried about it when I came to Japan, but when I tried to use the lady's because I was only three months on T, an old woman stopped me and said I was in the wrong bathroom. When I apologized she told me to be careful, lest someone think I'm a pervert and call the cops. So, I use the men's room now, when I have to. I hate public bathrooms in general so I try to avoid them. But if I gotta go, I just waltz in. I just a few stares, but I think its because I'm more of a "pretty boy" coupled with being a foreigner. I even used a men's room at Seatac airport and no one batted an eyelash. One guy gave me a funny look but I just shrugged and he didn't say anything.

[tvc15]

I certainly don't mean any disrespect, but I don't think this kind of a thread is entirely appropriate.  Just my opinion, but I feel like I would be a little put off if I was reading your post as a member of its target audience.

Actually I appreciate her post, because it got me thinking. I've been using men's bathrooms for two years and in all that time I've never been looked at by another dude. Nobody has ever said a word to me, even when I was only using stalls and sitting down in them. Guys just go in to do their business and get out. Women on the other hand--going to the bathroom is a social event for them. There's talking, sharing of supplies, complete strangers may strike up conversations, they spend longer in there, in front of the mirror, sinks, whatever. If there's a girl in the guy's room I don't think it'd be a huge deal... but if there's a guy in the girl's room that is a WAY different story. If you are passing, and especially if you are on T and have a deep voice and are still using the women's bathroom, it's time to stop that. You are going to make them uncomfortable. They will notice you, and they may escalate the situation if they feel intimidated.

[aleon515]

I didn't take any offense. I am not sure I have cahones, esp if I leave them at home. I don't even begin to pass. However it's a good point. My therapist is also a transguy and says that I could go in right now and no one would bat an eye. The only ones I have used are single stalls. I think there may be a bit more of a concern for us as we knows how women are in bathrooms. I know it is not that way, but it is hard to get over it as it is quite socialized in a lot of us.

--Jay

[Devlyn]

I'll confirm what's already been said. If you go in a mens room, and pay no attention to anyone, they won't pay any attention to you. The whole experience is about getting in and getting out fast with no interactions.

[wheat thins are delicious]

I certainly don't mean any disrespect, but I don't think this kind of a thread is entirely appropriate.  Just my opinion, but I feel like I would be a little put off if I was reading your post as a member of its target audience.

I agree.  I find it highly inappropriate.

[Yossarian]

While I understand your intentions OP. Encouraging lads who feel they are not ready to do this is dangerous. Using the mens restroom is a larger step than many may be ready to face.

A man who feels uncomfortable or is giving the body language that he is out of place will indeed bring attention to him and as we all well know there are many people who won't just turn a blind eye to it.

[FTMDiaries]

Not yet. I'll have to wait until my voice starts to drop before doing this. That way I'll be able to defend my right to use the gents' if I'm challenged. I can't do that at the moment because of my ridiculous girly voice.

Gender Dysphoria is difficult enough to cope with without being given uphill for using the 'wrong' bathroom when you're not yet able to back up your right to use it. Until I can, it's the 'family room' for me.

[DriftingCrow]

While I understand your intentions OP. Encouraging lads who feel they are not ready to do this is dangerous. Using the mens restroom is a larger step than many may be ready to face.

A man who feels uncomfortable or is giving the body language that he is out of place will indeed bring attention to him and as we all well know there are many people who won't just turn a blind eye to it.

I didn't think she was trying to encourage anyone who wasn't ready, only people who are on the fence.
People just need to use some common sense in deciding what is right for them; if you put yourself in a dangerous situation merely because someone says "I think you should try this", there's probably a lot of other things that person needs to worry about.

I didn't think we needed to put a disclaimer on all of our posts saying "Do not attempt this if you feel uncomfortable. Do not put yourself in a dangerous situation."

[Nygeel]

I've been bothered by people for being in the men's room. It was not a fun experience. I will say that it's unlikely that anything major will happen (getting beaten up, or having the cops called).

[Shantel]

maybe I'll go find a mens room in the darkest most desolate corner of the library where I'm sure to run into no one. Does that defeat the purpose? 

Each has to make their own decision about it. Am I going to be a man or a sissy? 

[DriftingCrow]

Well, I just used the men's room.  No problems, just in and out. No one even seemed to notice me there.

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BTW, what are you supposed to do if all the stalls are occupied? Just stand there and look at your phone or something?

[Shantel]

Well, I just used the men's room.  No problems, just in and out. No one even seemed to notice me there.

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Good job guy...kudos! 

BTW, what are you supposed to do if all the stalls are occupied? Just stand there and look at your phone or something?

No I'd go back out, some guys seem to take up semi-permanent residence in the stall, some even read the newspaper on the throne. No sense in waiting, you want to limit your exposure anyway.

[mm]

I am late in getting to repond.  I think this is a good thread.  One does need to be ready to use the mens and be confident when they do.  I have been using the mens in public places for over a year. I admit the first time was a bit unknown but it has always been a positive experience.  Go in do your business and get out, not alot of looking around, checking how you look in the mirror, etc.  When possible I like to use restrooms that aren't real busy, but have been in them in big crowds sports parks, etc.  I always use a stall as I haven't mastered a STP at all and having never seen anyone look at me strangely.  I am going to an university and started in girl mode briefly so a few students know me from then.  I try to use the men's in buildings where I am not likely to meet students that know me; this does require some planning at times as it takes me at least 15 min to make a round trip.  I wouldn't know how to use the womne's anymore and would probably get asked to leave.