Passable

[Amari]

Is it ever a worry of anyones, when you begin the trassion whether or not you are passable. My biggest fear is that people are going to judge me, is this normal.?

[KayCeeDee]

Yes that is normal. But it is largely unfounded. Most cis people don't pay attention or care.

[Amari]

Thank you, I was just curious because for whatever reason this is my BIGGEST fear

[Henna]

Amari, I have the same fear and it is actually the only thing that I worry to the end that I see nightmares of how I will look in few years.

However, I wont know until I reach that point and I cannot just stop my transition because of that fear, as there is just no way of knowing.

At least I've then tried.

[kelly_aus]

95% of the general population are too wrapped up in their own lives to care..

The other 5% is made up of trans people and idiots..

[Carrie Liz]

Yeah... this is pretty much my biggest fear too. I have a hard time not getting down on myself and feeling like it's such an impossible task, that I'll never get there. (I pay WAY too much attention to all of the changes that are going on with HRT, and as such spend way too much time obsessing over the things that are still too masculine.)

[Carolina1983]

Constantly. That is why I will use the knife. I just dont want to be judged like I get now by others.

[Sarah Blomsterhatt]

I never cared very much about passing, but I also know that I'm in a minority. But save for a couple of times here and there I never thought much about it. I always wanted to pass, I think everyone wants that. But I never cares much about passing or what people thougth of me, I was and continue to be a amazing person, if they don't see that then they are not people I want anything to do with.

I've had periods where I've tried to pass better, by trying to think about how I walk, how I talk, observing and then trying to recreate in myself. But I have mostly given up on those mainly because I don't have time. I got work to sort out, I got friends I want to do things with and talk to, I got my girlfriend whom I wish I was able to spend more time with, I got my parents and my younger syblings that are still confused about the whole situation, I got doctor appointments, I need to go out and buy food and make sure I eat everyday.

I'm currently in a state of confustion, because I apparently pass, and very well at that. Able to have long conversations face to face with people and they not having the tiniest of suspition. I don't know how or why, but I'm now having to get used to people seeing me as the (slightly silly) girl I am.

But like I said earlier, I'm in a minority that I never cared much about passing and never had any anxiety or anything about it. But just keep following your heart and one day, a day that may come sooner then you think, you'll be passing no problem.

[Amari]

Thank you guys for your responses it's nice to know others share the same fear and that I'm not completely over analyzing the situation.

[KayCeeDee]

One thing that might help ease your fear is gradually making the transition... just add a little here and there, things that aren't really noticeable but you know they are there.  I started by asking the saleswoman for makeup that didn't look like I was wearing makeup. I know it is there, I can tell, and it makes me feel better. But most people don't. So that builds up confidence, and gradually it can get bolder. Same with clothes.

[Shantel]

Thank you guys for your responses it's nice to know others share the same fear and that I'm not completely over analyzing the situation.

No you're not overanalyzing, it's human to want acceptance by others, for some it comes easier than for others. Probably the most important thing is to feel good about yourself and let that self confidence radiate from you while not allowing fear to overtake you. From my perspective fear is the devil trying to ruin your day. Set your resolve to not allow it to happen, look in the mirror and say "I am a beautiful woman in my own rite" before you step out the door. If you get an odd look from someone occasionally learn to ignore it as well as them as if they don't exist.

As for me, I know I don't pass, but I don't turn it from a molehill into a mountain, I just continue to be the best I can and never let other people's attitudes overwhelm me.

[Zumbagirl]

Is it ever a worry of anyones, when you begin the trassion whether or not you are passable. My biggest fear is that people are going to judge me, is this normal.?

I think a lot of us would be lying if we said we didn't worry In my case it took some very hard looking in the mirror to try and figure out what needed to be done about my face. Electrolysis was one thing,but I had let myself go simply because I just couldn't keep staring at that same face in the mirror every day. I worried about my complexion, he pores in my skin, my teeth, my smile and wondered if I had enough material to whip up something that was going to be girly enough to get by in the world day to day. Thankfully all of this is changeable it just takes mainly the effort to do. Good skin care, good teeth care, good hair care, we're all the start of becoming a happier person. I know when I wanted to have my facial surgery I went back and forth for what seems like a week, asking question after question "how much does it cost to do procedures x, y and z at the same time? Is it okay to combine procedure like this?". On and on that went until one day I hit the magic number,what I cold afford and what I felt needed to be done. After that is when pass ability problems started to go away.

One observation is that most people are not going to take notice of someone else. They are just so busy with their own lives, they can't be bothered. That being said, when we are newbies out there in the world, we are far easier to clock. We don't have a lot of life experience in our new gender. We lack the social cues and customs that go with gender X or Y, so we don't quite fit in, even though physically we may fit in just fine. I'd say it took me a good 5-6 months before I felt I was passing well enough for my own satisfaction.

[spacial]

Thank you guys for your responses it's nice to know others share the same fear and that I'm not completely over analyzing the situation.

You're not. That's is about the size of it really.

Those who do over come that do so by putting those worries out of their minds.

That's the real trick to anything if you think about it.