I'm pretty fine with not having a period. While it's an experience that I cannot have, that I would have had if I were born correctly, I don't believe I'm worse off for it - I still pay my dues to Pain in spades. It's for more or less the same reason; that is, the privilege of being able to live as female, and I don't think that the fact that the pain I experience is any less valuable for being purely emotional. If anything, it is more profound than the pain of a period, and it is certainly felt more often.
It's the fact that I'm not what I'd like to be, and I that I am not what I believe myself to be in any place other than between my ears. My body is incomplete, and it always will be. To add to this my opinions on how I appear to others compounds my sadness, and how I feel about how I don't or can't relate properly relate to people compounds it again.
I don't believe that I would have felt all this if I had been born, raised, and socialized correctly. However, my life must take the path that it takes, and I must make the choices I make in order to make the best out of that path. A part of this is realizing that we all have our individual struggles, and while I may not have one that I would have in common with much of the world, I do have some that give me commonality to a small part of the world - our own community, and kind.
This fellowship probably goes unnoticed, a lot of the time, especially given the nature of trans people. With the ideal being to have "trans" be a part of the past - a detail - we probably forget that it's a very unique experience that should help tie us together. We need to be able to support each other in the world, and frankly, I think it's a shame that there is pressure to be stealth. It is a practical solution to make life easier in the world we live in today, but I don't believe it's a very wise choice because of how it affects those who will life their lives in the world of the years to come.
I hope that we can eventually become proud of what we are, and the fact that it makes us unique, and gives us a very special perspective. It comes with its own set of challenges, for sure, but the world will open up to us if we let it. For many, the world has some use for more trans pioneers, but the day of unawareness of the trans condition is coming to a close. I'm not sure that the world will embrace us for some time, but acceptance is right around the proverbial corner.
In order to reach out for it, we need to first reach into ourselves. In order for the world to be proud of us, we need to first be proud of ourselves.
There is a lot to be proud of, for those of us who live this fantastic tragedy. So long as we can keep our chins up, find or hold onto our happiness, accept and be proud of who and what we are, and be proud of how we live our lives, our pride is justified. I don't believe that such a person would need a period for the sake of validation, and I don't believe that such a person would want to unnecessarily add to the challenge that their life offers already.
I am what I am, and I don't regret what I am. I'm not upset about not having periods, because I am proud to be trans. Perhaps my pride is present to spite the difficulties that that aspect of my nature brings with it, but it is also at least in part due to the fact that I still exist, despite those challenges, that I still chase after happiness despite all the sadness that those challenges bring, and that I can be happy and at peace with what I am, in spite of words and thoughts that attempt to tempt me otherwise.
These feelings, of course, transcend the topic of periods. I can be happy with all that I have, and all that I don't have. I will change what I can, and I will embrace what I can't. What a person can't change is a part of what makes them unique - the other part is how they deal with it. For the sake of health and sanity, I hope that everyone can, in time, learn to love themselves for all of what they are, and for all of what they aren't, because those are the things make that person who they are. To be able to love oneself, perfectly, is to be at peace.
And such a person does not need to add or take away from their suffering to be any happier than they already are.
