Quote from: Carlita on July 19, 2013, 07:54:25 AM
Thank YOU for replying .. and with such wonderful, positive news.
Who'd have guessed that getting a girly voice would be such a great career move?!
I think back to when I was presenting female and feeling locked into using a male voice. Whatever it was.. fear, feeling inexperienced, or just a chronic stigma of "stage fright" from early childhood... I am definitely moving past it's burden over my voice. It is a wonderful feeling. This week has been a testament to what this surgery has done for me in terms of my goals since starting transition.
Today I was talking to the art director who I have been working with consistently all day long for 5 days. Well, I had a moderate dose of caffeine today for the first time in 3 months.. and it actually made me TIRED. So much that I couldn't help but yawn during a conversation with him. I apologized and mentioned that I hadn't had caffeine in a while, and he asked why- if I was just trying to avoid it? I told him that I couldn't until now because I'd recently had a surgery, and he asked if I was okay. I said I'd had a voice surgery but my voice had been healthy to start with, and then I told him that it was voice feminization surgery. He looked confused.
I assumed that he had heard from my friend/coworker there (the guy that recommended me) that I was transgendered. Well, apparently he hadn't heard and when I said the words he almost jumped out of his seat. He apparently had no idea I am trans, and I really did believe it. Other than an odd feeling about outing myself, I felt utter elation! He actually congratulated me!
I guess overall I know that I pass with random people every time now, or at least I don't even think about it whatsoever. It's still a little different with people I see every day... I guess because I live and hang out with so many people that have seen me change through this whole process. So, I guess I am used to people knowing and I just assume they do after a while. I felt that I could pass easily on short term, but for some reason I felt that over long term I would do something that would cause me to be read.
The perception I have of myself through other peoples eyes is really starting to change, though. Today made a huge difference for me mentally. Being able to blend while interacting people is bar none the most exciting feeling I have ever felt. It's similar to the feeling I got when I first started to go full time... It's been allowing me to relax, to further explore my identity, and it also just makes me smile a lot.
Today was a really good day. Have a great weekend everyone!