anjaq - I'm running through those same questions regarding everyone hearing a difference in the voice and essentially likely "coming out" to everyone who I'm currently not out to. This includes my work, which up until I told my bosses that I needed time off for voice surgery I hadn't come out to any of them. This also includes my boyfriend's family. I haven't told any of them and I'm pretty darn sure that they'll notice the difference. That's actually one of the biggest factors in me wanting to get this surgery is that my voice wavers so much around his family, since they have a large extended family and it seems like I'm almost always meeting someone new. Every time I have to meet someone new I get really self-conscious about my voice and it fluctuates wildly. After the surgery it will [hopefully] be solidly female. On one hand it'll be great since I won't have anymore hesitation around them, but on the other hand they'll likely suspect something.
It's an interesting dichotomy since I'm naturally a pretty overt person, but my voice has made it impossible for me to feel comfortable socializing or doing anything that involves speaking (which affects so many different areas of my life, from calling to make appointments with doctors, to going shopping, to ordering food at restaurants). It sucks that I have to consciously think before I ever say a single word, and when I do talk I'm always thinking of how I sound and whether I need to make adjustments. It takes so much effort and concentration just to do that, that I don't engage in the situation itself.
That's the only reason I'm doing this surgery, to allow me to engage in life 100% and to stop engaging in myself. I have been able to feel completely comfortable with my appearance and knowing that I pass physically, so it would seem, everywhere to where I don't ever think about that aspect of passing. But really, the thing that I associate with myself the most is my voice, since I hear myself all the time...I don't see myself all the time. Always hearing a guy (or at least a "fake" female voice) has made it so hard to completely let go of my past and fully let myself out. I can't even imagine how much having a passable female voice, without any effort, will change my life.
Also, Jenny, I have to agree with everyone else in that you're coming along amazingly!
Abby, that sounds amazing! That, right there, is exactly what I'm talking about. Being able to just live life and fully engage in whatever you're doing without an afterthought.