6 years ago, I made the decision to come out rather than kill myself. Even though all I knew about "the gays and transgenders" was "you'll be screwed up, everyone will hate you, you'll never find love, your family will leave you, no one will hire you, you'll get diseases, die alone, and then rot in hell."
I guess something inside myself told me that my life was worth more than that, even if it was hard. Not that being out as been easy, I've certainly experienced discrimination and hurt, but most of what I was told were lies.
- I'm not screwed up, I'm getting a master's degree, I'm a teacher with great reviews, I have a clean bill of health. I've had more than one person tell me they love how much I smile and laugh, how I know what's truly important, how I have encouraged them to empower themselves.
- Lots of people like me. I don't even have to say much more about that, lol. I'm a nice person.
- I have found love. More than once. The first time, it didn't work out, but I know what we shared was real. It was unconditional. Even when she first broke up with me, I cried so hard I thought I'd puke, but I knew deep down that if I had taken my own life, I'd never have been able to experience that love. And as for the girl who loves me now, well, we'll have to see if things work out for us, but I know she loves me and I love her.
- My family has been a royal pain in the ass and has hurt me pretty bad over this stuff, but they haven't gone anywhere.
- I've been hired several times now and done well at the jobs.
- I don't have any diseases.
- I hopefully won't die alone.
- Hell doesn't exist.
I cried so much over the past hour thinking about this. I never thought I'd have a beautiful life, I just figured that even if life was crappy, I was worth something. Who would have known I could be all that I am?
