...Apparently there wasn't afterschool rehearsal today. Sheesh, lady, make up your mind!
Gym class today was odd in a good way, I've been semi-avoiding my ex out of fear that she still hates me and all but today I grew a pair and had a conversation. Yes my voice cracked so hard it squeaked, yes it wasn't a very long one, but we talked and things seem okay, I hugged her and she hugged back without any sort of hostility. At least something is going right.
Then I played basketball with my friends, she couldn't join though because she broke her toe the other day :/ Things got intensely competitive and at one point I was tackled while trying to take a shot, followed by my teammate tackling the guy who tackled me (we were playing 2 vs 2), and of course I forgot to wear a belt this morning so my lovely purple briefs were visible. No one noticed until my other friend who had been watching showed us a picture and said he was going to caption it "White boys can't play basketball" (he's hispanic and ridiculously good at throwing one-armed shots), everyone was howling with laughter because my underwear were showing. At least the lighting made them look like a shade of blue, I may go to an arts school but they'd never live it down if they knew I was wearing purple underwear. I laughed along with them but was busy noting the fact that in the picture, my shoulders and back look rather broad and manly and there's no distinct curvature where a female should have curves, instead it just angled directly into the waist (my back was facing the camera and I was lying on my side). Made me pretty happy that there didn't seem to be any noticeable hips because dysphoria has been coming and going in waves all week.
Had a semi-fight with my mom, but her argument seems to be weakening over time. Hopefully she'll let up enough that I can safely go by Max with teachers next year and use male pronouns and not worry that she's going to have a fit over it.
