What are you thinking right now? 4.0

[Shantel]

You can check out any time you want, but you can never leave.

Hotel California or the Roach Motel?

[King Malachite]

I need to find more things in my room to sell.

[Tossu-sama]

Thank you T for suppressing my emotions enough that I'm not crying my eyes out because this fricking anime is so much FEELS.

[King Malachite]

The maggot I dropped in the ant pile.

[King Malachite]

notebooks

[Anna++]

I had a meeting on google hangouts a half hour after my laser appointment today.  Fortunately for me, the video quality was low enough that nobody was able to see just how red my face is.

[Edge]

Thank you T for suppressing my emotions enough that I'm not crying my eyes out because this fricking anime is so much FEELS.

What anime?

[Adam (birkin)]

My personality is the exact opposite of my mother's and I wish it were otherwise. We get along quite well now, but we've always clashed because she seems to have trouble accepting that there are other ways of living besides her own.

[Tossu-sama]

What anime?

Shigenki no Kyojin AKA Attack on Titan/The Eoten Onslaught/whatever else translations the title has.

Just finished watching the subbed episodes and AAAAAAAAAAAAGH.
I NEED MORE BUT I DON'T KNOW WHEN THE NEXT EPISODE'S COMING UP.

[Liminal Stranger]

And as we wind on down the road,
our shadows taller than our souls,
there walks a lady we all know,
who shines white light and wants to show,
that everything still turns to gold,
and if you listen very hard,
the tune will come to you at last,
when all is one and one is all,
to be a rock and not to roll.

Is that correct? I think i got some of the words wrong.

And she's buying a stairway
To heaven...

Had to go to the bank today with my mother to take out money from my account, she needed it for the auto mechanic. Even with my ID card showing a long-haired picture of me with a girly name and my mother using female pronouns, they still called me a boy.

She's trying to make me feel guilty and screaming all at once and I'm so sick of her nonsense, I'm not the one being a monster here.

[Liminal Stranger]

Everyone's ignoring me. I don't want to sound like an idiot, but i'm having a serious problem dealing with my trauma here.

So it seems. Is there anything we can do to help you with it, or is posting here enough? Either way, I send you long-distance hugs. Which is saying something because I hate hugs, but I digress...not really sure on what sort of advice to give you. I used to get fleeting moments of "This is wrong, what are you doing?!" all the time, but they've stopped as I've come to realize that this is right. Have you ever thought that you could potentially be Sara *and* birthname?

[Liminal Stranger]

It sounds confusing. Part of the process is figuring out exactly who you are. Give it time and don't freak out expecting one or the other, it's best to just let things happen with your identity.

[kira21 ♡♡♡]

My sympathies Calm. That's quite a horrid mess to deal with.

[kira21 ♡♡♡]

I am thinking... I lack any natural charisma. I have whatever the opposite of charisma is.  Don't get me wrong, I am not in a bad mood or anything, in fact I am feeling quite upbeat. It does seem to be quite clearly true.  Maybe one day I will figure out where it comes from.

[King Malachite]

having the info ready when I come out to my mom

[V M]

When it's this hot out, melting cheese on something just seems rather redundant

[King Malachite]

I'm glad that I found my athelete's Bible from summer camp.  It's not a King James Version but it will do for now.  I just wish I had taken better care of it.

[FrancisAnn]

I feel good today. I just resumed my HRT yesterday & already feel better about myself. On & off for years, always a girl since childhood. I love being a woman & so enjoy every part of being normal/feminine. I'm passable but not "pretty" however I must accept that with time we all age some. I had a facelift scheduled a month ot so ago & think it's time to reschedule with the plastic surgeon for this procedure for my face. The physician is well experienced & knows I need as feminime a face as possible. I should just relax & let him make as many improvements as possible at one time. Then just relax & heal up this summer.

[Edge]

I feel like i'm about to have another breakdown because of my gender, even though i don't even like feminine things and don't feel THAT feminine (for the most part, when i do i am more relaxed than now). But it never leaves me. It never does. I can check out any time i want, but i can never leave.

Feminine does not equal female and vice versa. Gender identity is not the same as gender roles. There are plenty of females (both cis and trans) who tomboys, butch, etc.
Sometimes, I wonder if I am settling for science since sorcery is not an option. That and knowledge is power.

[Edge]

I'm also having phases where suddenly i no longer like female bodies. It's like my mind is locking me out and steering me away. Right now i don't know what i want or what to do. I don't want much, just peace of mind. If only i was good enough to play in a band. That would distract me.

Ah. Do you switch? Have you visited the Androgyne board yet? There are a few people around who have gone through/are going through a similar thing. For me, I found that writing down my thoughts and feeling about my gender each day helped me sort it out and see more clearly. (See the forest for the trees kind of thing.)