Gotta get it off my chest

[Elirlm060]

Literally and figuratively... I want to have genetic testing and I hope I have the genetic precursor for breast cancer so I can have them removed and my family not disown me... I feel like a sick person bc it even crossed my mind... I hate my breasts.

[Devlyn]

Hi and welcome to Susan's Place. While we all understand dysphoria, and offer you our support and understanding, such remarks about cancer are off -base. My family was affected terribly by cancer, as many families have been. Dying from cancer is not favorable to having simple top surgery. See you around the site, hugs, Devlyn

[Jamie D]

Welcome, Elirlm060.

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Your hatred of your breasts could be  a sign of gender dysphoria.  I am not FtM, so I can not really speak to the issue, but we have an FtM talk forum, with many, many knowledgeable members, who can give you suggestions, and even referrals to surgeons.

However, I want you to consider gender therapy, and see if gender dyphoria is an issue you are dealing with, or if you have other contributing factors.  Good luck to you.

[Arch]

Hi and welcome to Susan's Place. While we all understand dysphoria, and offer you our support and understanding, such remarks about cancer are off -base. My family was affected terribly by cancer, as many families have been. Dying from cancer is not favorable to having simple top surgery. See you around the site, hugs, Devlyn

I should point out that he didn't say he wanted to GET cancer, just that he hoped he had the genetic marker. Those are two very different things. And FWIW, I've run into a number of FTMs who have fantasized about actually getting cancer. They know that they don't want to get sick--many of them have had family members and friends with cancer--but they feel trapped and want a way out of their trans nightmare.

Welcome to the site, Elirlm. What is your family situation like?

[Kiwi4Eva]

 :)Elirim?  Does your comment have anything to do with the recent double mastectomy Angelina Jolie went through?  She has done the right thing because she received news of her genetic disposition for breast cancer

[Elirlm060]

I have been through cancer. My family members have died from it. I am a survivor of thyriod cancer. I know the effects that this disease has on a family which is one reason I am disturbed at having the thought cross my mind... Not just cross my mind but a serious contemplation of how a mastectomy will make me feel more comfortable in my own body. I thought about this long before it became a buzz bc a celebrity had it done... My grandmother was a breast cancer survivor and had a unilateral  mastectomy .... My family is very religious, my mother believes I had my cancer bc I was in relationships with females... I live a double life between my friends and my family... My family will disown me if I am open about my life.... And can I just say what a thrill it was to see a male pronoun in reference to me! No one has ever used male pronouns for me... It just feels right thanks!!

[Jamie D]

I better understand where you are coming from.

I am sorry your mother, and perhaps the rest of your family, have their judgement clouded by their religious beliefs.  To be "yourself," you may have to risk, at some point, being disowned.

We have many members here who are religious, caring, and accepting.  You're family here!

[Sarah Louise]

Family can be rough, you might never change your Mother's beliefs.  Your just going to need to move forward on your own.  It is your life, you have the right to be happy.  And as long as you can come to terms with your religious beliefs you will be happy too.

I am a Christian, but I have come to terms with my Christianity and my being a MtF.  I do not consider it to be a sin against my faith.

[Elirlm060]

Thank you all for all the advice and encouraging comments... I'm glad I have found a place where I can talk openly about what's going on in my head...