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What's Your Main Issue?

Started by TheLance, June 04, 2013, 03:21:18 PM

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Nero

Quote from: FTMDiaries on June 05, 2013, 10:07:46 AM

Oh, and because of said body issues, I'm unable to find a new life partner at the moment because no gay man worth his salt would be interested in what I currently have to offer.

How do you know? You mean because of the genital issue? Well, I know there are gay men who wouldn't be interested based on that. But some are into trans guys with factory equipment.
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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Edge

My body is wrong and it's disorienting, uncomfortable, and makes me feel invisible.
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TheLance

FTMDiaries, you never know who is into what. You'll find your man. Maybe not immediately, but it will happen. There's all different types of people in this world.
Once you've lost everything, you're free to do anything.
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Amy The Bookworm

Quote from: Antonia J on June 05, 2013, 11:31:35 AM
Society's lack of acceptance.

This sums up all of my worries right here, especialy since I live in Kansas, United States, a place that's surprisingly more conservative than a lot of southern states I've lived in.

I worry about telling my wife.

I hate that I can't even start until I finish college because of money, though I am waiting on the college to get back to me for an appointment with a transgender therapist.

I worry about how family will react, but to a much lesser degree. Especialy once I find a job after college, I'm independent from them and have been for many years. So if they don't like it that's . . . honestly their problem not mine.

I worry how people will treat my daughter because of me.

I don't care about the rest of it. I'd be happy transitioning. Nothing about it scares me, not even the money. I'll go through it, do my best, and take one step at a time until I'm comfortable and no more than that. But . . . society from strangers and people I don't know, co-workers, school . . . all of that? That bothers me. A lot. It makes the whole process which really should be a  beautiful thing where a person is admitting who they really are and is going to be it and willing to work for it into a far more stressfull issue than it ever needs to be.
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Rinzler

There's a lot of issues that bother me, like society's lack of acceptance and how, even when people are more open-minded, they still will have so much trouble viewing you as the gender you identify as. And for me, I feel like even if I told any more than the two people I've already told, I can't expect them to keep up with what gender I'm identifying as from one day to the next or even one moment to the next since that changes depending on my mood, the situation I'm in, who I'm with, etcetera. If it's confusing for me, it'd be way more confusing for them.

But I guess one of the biggest things for me is that I don't know if I'll ever find a solution to feel happy and comfortable with my body more than half of the time. Since I'm bi-gender, I don't want to undergo top surgery or hormone therapy or anything like that since it would mean I would lose my female body and, half of the time, I really am happy with my female body. But then the other half of the time, when I so strongly identify as a guy, I feel so out of place in my body and wish more than anything that my body matched how I feel. I wish more than anything that there was a way I could magically change my physical sex depending on what I'm identifying as at the moment, haha. That would be great.
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Nov413

My main issue right now is dealing with my extended family and their total lack of support. I guess at times, it feels like my immediate family does not support me due to their complete disregard for my name and preferred gender pronoun, but I guess I can let that rest.
"Courage and perseverance have a magical talisman, before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish into air." - John Adams
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wolfduality

It's a combination of things.

I would hate to be on meds for life but in order to feel more comfortable with myself, it's necessary. I'm also comfortable with needles but don't know if I can self-inject. I'm also in an almost neverending, difficult financial situation and I'd be terrified I'd have to pick between going without T for a couple months to feed my family. (I will ALWAYS put my family first but you can see the issue.)

I won't be able to be the guy I wish I could be. I would like to be tall, well-muscled and rugged. Cool and collected with a "presence" about him. I want to be able to go hunting and be "one of the guys". I wish I could relate to more "guy things" but as most of my guy friends still see me as a woman and they just can't put me in perspective. This is something I've struggled with for years as I've tried to be just "one of the guys" but I'm never treated like it no matter how much I try to explain that it's okay.

I worry that if my wife and I broke up, I'd never find anyone. I'm a natural loner and being married is kinda crazy considering my personality. However, the thought depresses me because I would probably not be able to find someone even to casually date. (Yes, I know I haven't divorced but it still worries me in some ways.) It's the worry-wort in me.

I also know my mother would never accept me. I'm her only daughter and she's always felt a special kinship to me because SHE was also the only daughter among her brothers. She would be angry and say she always will love me, but I know she'll not accept me by any stretch of the imagination. She'll argue that it's a phase and that I'm married to a "man" so I can't POSSIBLY be trans*. How do I know this? She reacted like this when she heard I was a lesbian. She'll pray for me and hope I don't continue. She'll probably never call me by my changed name either.
Yours truly,

Tobias.
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Emily Aster

Fear of failure, plain and simple. I was pushed so hard to be perfect growing up that I've actually gotten to a point where I'd rather not try it if there's a chance I may not be perfect. Basically the first mistake was forgiven. The second one was on purpose and grounds for punishment because I clearly didn't learn from it. Sherlock Holmes, in Young Sherlock Holmes, getting pissed off because he hadn't mastered the violin in a day basically sums up my childhood.

So anyway with all the steps necessary for a transition like voice training, mannerism adjustment, unlearning how I've learned to react (like only "liking" whatever made me the toughest), dealing with family, name change, therapy, makeup, hair, fashion, etc. there's a lot of places where I could fall short. Then there's the ever persistent what if I'm wrong question that keeps bouncing around in my head.
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Jess42

Wow, the list is long but I would say that my main issue is how M2F are portrayed on TV. It maybe just me since I am M2F so maybe I am being overy sensitive.
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Amy The Bookworm

Quote from: Jess42 on June 11, 2013, 08:50:16 AM
Wow, the list is long but I would say that my main issue is how M2F are portrayed on TV. It maybe just me since I am M2F so maybe I am being overy sensitive.

It kinda falls in line with my major concern of society.

The way we're protraied by the media doesn't help us at all. We're all aware of the way movies like Rocky Horror Picture show, and Jerry Springer and Silence of the Lambs make us look.

But if that wasn't bad enough . . . Ever do a google image search for Transexual or Transgender? Now, thankfully . . . these images are improving of us. Every day I've looked more and more of them are respectable images, of people who are normal, healthy, and happy. That's the impression we want and need to give people if we're ever going to be accepted by society.

But, let's be honest. There's still quite a few images on there that make us look like freaks.

Just about the only female to male image I see when I google either transgender or transexual is of a pregnant man, with his hand resting on his lower belly. Now, for a lot of reasons, I honestly see no problem with this image by itself. To someone who's at least some what educated on the issues we face, it's a beautiful image of human diversity and life. But it's nearly the only representation of female to male trans people that show up with a generic search. Speaking honestly, uneducated people are going to see that and walk away with possibly a missunderstood impression.

The images of male to female trans people in overly bright makeup that's badly applied, or who are badly dressed in gaudy, indecent outfits, pulling their shirt up and on and on . . . doesn't help us either. And admitedly, I'd be willing to bet several of these images are fake, made by people who wish to taunt us, or they're made by people in the sex trade, or maybe even by trans people ourselves who are possibly dealing with mental issues or trying to make a statement in some way.

Regardless of who makes these rather unflattering images of us, I'm going to speak honestly. They don't help us. We're trying to be accepted by society and trying to convince people we're worthy of respect, and human rights.

I truly hope I don't come across as harsh, but, again speaking honestly, when someone even like me, trying to do research on my options for treatment and trying to understand myself sees images like this? They scare me. They make me think "...Oh my god. What if that's what I wind up looking like?" If that's how I feel, and I at least concider myself knowledgable on the subject, open minded, and trans myself . . . how is someone who just stumbles across them going to react? Or how is someone who's a member of our family or a close friend or even a co-worker or prospective employer trying to understand us when we sit down and admit to them we're transgender and they go looking on the net for some answers and knowledge going to react and what are they going to think?

Are they going to walk away with a positive impression of us? Are they going to be likely to support us when we go to the government of our nations practicly begging on our hands and knees for equality and equal health care, or for our neghbors to at least not kill us in the streets?

I guess it's not surprise to any of us we have a serious public image problem due to missinformation and negative education by people who don't understand us.

What I'm trying to figure out is . . . how can we change that? 20 years ago people were talking about gay people the same way they talk about us today. So, it can be fixed. Changes to the DSM-V are a step in the right direction, as is recent more positive press about us. But we still have a long way to go. But I guess . . . I'm preaching to the chior, and this is somewhat off topic.
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Jess42

Thanks for that Amy. Now I know I'm not the only one that sees it.
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FullThrottleMalehem

It's a toss up between not being able to get the trans related care I need, and being a man with a vagina. Being a guy but not having cis gender genitals extremely limits my partner options, especially living where I do.
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Liam

The fact that everyone looks at me and sees a girl. The fact that I look down at my body and it's just fundamentally wrong and I don't have a way to fix it.
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Christine Eryn

That's an easy one. My time table is all screwed up nowadays. I started taking hormones almost 6 years ago (how time flies) and many many good changes have happened since then. But, I have not yet finished electrolysis, which is holding me back from getting FFS. My main problem is my boobs are big enough to warrent me to bind them when I go out in public. It's a living hell some of you might know. "Real life" gets in the way sometimes. Hopefully I make my final transition moves before I crack.
"There was a sculptor, and he found this stone, a special stone. He dragged it home and he worked on it for months, until he finally finished. When he was ready he showed it to his friends and they said he had created a great statue. And the sculptor said he hadn't created anything, the statue was always there, he just cleared away the small peices." Rambo III
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warlockmaker

I've waited until I have fufilled my family's obligations as the eldest son . I have fufilled the requirements to manage the family's Trust and my global business, have 4 children from 30years to 18 months. I have given my whole life for the family name and now I'm over 60 and feel finally I can give back to myself and  started HRT 3 months ago. Wish I could have started earlier but i'm happy now and thats all that matters.

We all are better off now.

Peace and love
Warlockmaker
When we first start our journey the perception and moral values all dramatically change in wonderment. As we evolve further it all becomes normal again but the journey has changed us forever.

SRS January 21st,  2558 (Buddhist calander), 2015
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Jennygirl

As a self proclaimed "happy kid" I have absolutely no main issues with being transgendered. If I have had an issue, I find a way to rationalize, move on, or sublimate it into something helpful.

The only thing I worry about is society's possible inability to hold the world together enough that I can continue to take hormones. In that case, I really just hope there is some kind of permanent implant with enough girl juice to last me a lifetime. I will be one of the first on that list!

I do love everything about being trans, even the fact that society doesn't accept it all the way... To me, it is kind of a challenge that not only makes me proud to be who I am but stronger as I try to help others learn about it. Some people will never "get it" but there's no reason to get down about it. As with all things in life, sometimes you have to move on and do what's right for yourself.
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dreaming.forever

I have a few main issues.

Not being able to produce enough testosterone naturally--I'm poor as ->-bleeped-<- and have no idea when I can get back on T; plus, psychologically, it bothers me that my body doesn't make enough T by itself.

Not having facial hair--I want a goatee so bad.

Not having cis-male junk.

Not being able to ejaculate.
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Jess42

Quote from: Jennygirl on June 13, 2013, 10:08:41 PM
As a self proclaimed "happy kid" I have absolutely no main issues with being transgendered. If I have had an issue, I find a way to rationalize, move on, or sublimate it into something helpful.

The only thing I worry about is society's possible inability to hold the world together enough that I can continue to take hormones. In that case, I really just hope there is some kind of permanent implant with enough girl juice to last me a lifetime. I will be one of the first on that list!

I do love everything about being trans, even the fact that society doesn't accept it all the way... To me, it is kind of a challenge that not only makes me proud to be who I am but stronger as I try to help others learn about it. Some people will never "get it" but there's no reason to get down about it. As with all things in life, sometimes you have to move on and do what's right for yourself.

I'm definately with you on the last paragraph Jennygirl.
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Rachel

#38
Not disclosing to my girlfriend who became my wife (20 years). I never wanted to hurt another person. I was so lonely for 8 years I thought I could hide and control my inner self.
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas in 2020 FEMLAR
  • skype:Rachel?call
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kyh

My main issue... Let's see... I go back and forth between feeling pretty and feeling ugly. It drives me crazy.
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