Coming out of the closet.

[JenniferElizabeth]

 Hi all.
     I was writing this to see if any body can help. See when I got married 3 years ago. I did it to try and prove to myself one way or the other, but, tring once again to at least give it one good shot for dad.
      My wife was in my office going throug my libaray of books. When she saw someting I forgot was on them. See I will put my female name in them. Well she confronted me with them, thinking I was cheating. She didnt know and I wasnt going to tell her, denial I guess. I finally broke down and told her everything.
      She has accepted me and is supporting. But, she does have her moments where she has a case of loose lips. She has told her friends, her mother, MY father, and 86 strick southern baptist grandmother.( Who I wasn't ever going to tell, seeing shes too old and in bad health.) My father asked me weither the strange story was ture, (denial) I said no. I wasn't yet ready to tell. But I did one thing before she thought of it. Seeing I had gotting my first letter from my therapist. I told my managers and boss, and gave a copy to my boss for their records.
                              Thanks to you help here.

[beth]

Hello JenniferElizabeth,


                  I hope your employer understands and accepts you. It is probably better they heard it from you rather than your wife. If your wife is out telling everyone about you, I don't think denials will work.  You may have to tell those you care about yourself so they will be told in a truthful and meaninful way rather than thru gossip. No one should ever tell this kind of information without the consent of the person who is transsexual. I hope all turns out well for you.

beth

           

[Cassandra]

Hi Jennifer,

Have you talked to your wife about her loose lips? The right communication is key. If you are to pick and choose your own time she needs to understand this and learn to let you tell who you want to tell in your own time.  I hope things turn out okay for you.

Cassie

[Shelley]

Hi Jennifer,

I'm with Cassie on this one it may very well be that your wife thinks she is helping and doesn't really understand how you feel about her talking to others.

Even if this is not the case your wife really needs you to communicate with her if you are going to solve this problem easily.

Hope this helps

Shelley

[JenniferElizabeth]

  Thank you dears,
    But, this is not the case here. I've exlpained to her of how and when I was to tell everyone. She also goes sometimes  with me to my therapist appointment. And my therapist also has tried to explain that it is my secret for me to tell when I got ready, but, to no effect.
          Yes, My boss and the managers are very supporting. Actually none of them batted an eye to my news. And the company has a No-Decrimination law.

[LostInTime]

I had an ex with loose lips like that.  I broke off our engagement because I kind of knew (but was still in denial, in a way, very complicated) what I would end up doing (transitioning) and did not want to hurt her.  She said she would stay with me no matter what but I broke it off anyway.  Absolutely THE hardest thing I have ever done in my life and I still miss her (she's married with kids now).  Well she wanted to show how much she supported me or how much she hated me or something and proceeded to tell friends and family about my "little secret."

Fortunately I was able to convince them that she was completely off the deep end.  Her actions scared the crap out of me and I turned around and married someone else immediately (ya know to prove I was manly and stuff, LOL) and of course that ended badly.  About a year or so later I then had to go back and tell these people that she had not been lying and that most of what she said was true.  It actually made coming out a bit easier because I did not have to directly say it at the beginning of "the talk".

Good luck with everything, let us know how it works out.