I hate my feet

[A]

You know, lots of trans women have a problem: they have long feet, which translate to sizes of >42 (US 10-11 I think), so they have trouble finding shoes: few stores carry shoes in those sizes, especially for women. Well, that's not my problem. I wear sizes 39-40, sometimes 41 (US 8-9, sometimes 10), which is probably not that much above the average. So shoes carrying my size are commonplace.

But I just had to have another problem: width and height. Width is above average, which can already be problematic. But if it were just that, I wouldn't have a problem: plenty of women have wide feet, and "wide" shoes can usually take more than my foot. Height, however, is a big problem. My feet are very, very high for their length. Essentially my feet look a bit like balls. To add to the problem, I need ortheses. These add a bit of height, and they eliminate some sorts of shoes (like most sandals).

So far I've always gone with skate shoes because I didn't care about what I was wearing much, and it was easy-ish to find some that fit. Now, I know some of these shoes can be pretty cute, but I'm sick of them. I've worn too many of them. I need something else.

Well, yesterday, we went to the shopping mall, and we did every single store minus one (lack of time). In each of these stores, I tried on many, many models, many of which were "just to try" because I didn't like them, and in all of the 6-7 stores we visited, there were two fits: one pair of cute-ish sneakers, same as my mother's, and one pair of comfortable, net-ish shoes that I really, really didn't like. I'm probably going to return for the sneakers today since they're relatively cute and I'm despaired, but while they may not be skateboard-style, they're still sneakers. I still need something else. Going full-time but still buying pretty much the same shoes over and over again sucks a little.

I don't want to let my mother convince me to buy the shoes I dislike, and I don't want to be stuck in sneakers - mostly all skateboard-style - all my life. A salesperson who we monopolized for half an hour suggested two costy stores in town, but come on. I'm not gonna pay 150-200 $ for one pair of shoes.

I've thought of online shopping, but what good is it if I can't try it on? I've had no luck in stores where I could try on whatever I wanted, and many models that looked like they would fit didn't.

Any help would be greatly appreciated. And we're going out again this afternoon. So if you can reply fast, bonus points.

[Seras]

I recently ordered some shoes online from a major department store. Two of the three pairs fit and the one that did not I just took back to the local store and got a refund. Maybe some of your local stores will do the same?

Or if not you just send them back in the mail which is annoying but not a big problem.

It is much easier to find a large variety of shoes online though. My feet are UK 9 so this is only like 1 or even a 1/2 size larger than the sizes commonly found in shops which is crazy annoying but online, it is super easy.

[Beth Andrea]

If you need shoes "right now", get the sneakers. They're all-around good, comfortable to wear, and you can go to most places and not be looked at strangely (at least, not for your shoes).

That'll buy you time to look around. $150--$200 isn't that bad for a pair of quality shoes--I used to spend that much on hard-wearing but comfortable boots. (Custom made boots, fyi, are in the $300-$600 range (all in US dollars)). If the shoes fit (and imho, half the $150 = worth it to try them on before buying, once one factors in time shipping to you, shipping back if they don't work out, + postage) then they should last for a while.

My feet are 10-11 (US), and I go to the DSW "designer warehouse" stores...LOTS of shoes in my size, and others up to 14 (iirc)....but since you have unique feet...you may have to spend more to get not only a good fit, but a good style as well.

[Theo]

I'd just try Amazon -> Ladies' Shoes -> search for "insoles" -> click on the style of shoes you're looking for. Look at the descriptions, but most of the manufactures you're seeing up on the screen at that point will have shoes designed specifically for insoles, and quite a few of them cater to more complex foot shapes too. Even if you prefer shopping offline, you will at least be armed with a list of manufacturers that you may want to try.

[A]

We went to the costy store today. They had nothing that fit, and barely anything I would have liked. There was nothing but freaking leather for one, which really decreased the chances of me liking the shoes. And honestily, at 150 $ minimum, they would have needed to be super awesome. Not to mention that I saw no hint of very special quality. Same as when I bought sneakera worth ~150 $ and was careful with them, yet after a year they were entirely broken down. We just went back to Sears and got the sneakers, just like my mother's. Well, in the mean time they'd sold everything for my sizd, so my mother got herself some cute red shoes I'm jealous of and she'll give me hers. Fair deal' even though I still don't have any shoes apart from that.


Yeah, no, no matter what you tell me, the shoes have to be absolutely dreamy to be worth a crazy amount like over 120 $. And at 150+, it's just no. I'm outright poor, you know.

As for online shopping, eh, I'm not doing that. Bringing back shoes to the store is annoying. Imagine if you need to go get them at the post office/warehouse and maybe even send them back. No, no, that's crazy. Consider a mean chance of fitting of 5 %, which is optimistic.

And uhm Amazon... looks like the Canadian version doesn't have clothes at all.

[Theo]

And uhm Amazon... looks like the Canadian version doesn't have clothes at all.

Considering that 99% of the manufactures will service both the Canadian and US markets, you could then probably just use Amazon.com

The point is not necessarily to order anything from them, but to see, using said filter criteria, what companies explicitly claim to create shoes for insoles (and don't forget that many will have a generic insole in their shoes that you have to take out and replace with your own if needed). Check the websites of the manufactures to see who sells their shoes in your vicinity, and then visit those specific stores to try them on. Presto. At least it helps limit the amount of completely inappropriate pairs that are put in front of you.

[A]

In any case, so far, what I've seen in terms of expensive shoes were just something that you paid for the brand, or something. 2-3 times as expensive; same quality.

On Amazon.com, the "insoles" search in women's shoes isn't helping much... Am I doing something wrong? I only see obscure brands I never have or will see in stores, and most of them only say "we have an insole for comfort".

Anyway, by insole, do you mean a sort of sheet in the bottom of the shoe that makes it more comfortable, that you can remove? If so, I've seen countless of those at stores. And funnily, the pair that fit the best was the one in which there was no such thing. Even by removing insoles, most of them are way too low for my foot, or just not wide enough to fit my orthese in. Or the orthese fits, but stretches the shoe in a way that would ruin it within weeks. Looks like those removable insole things aren't helping much...

As for Payless, uhm, I don't have a store nearby and online shopping is probably useless, but my sister lives in a large city, and over there, they have a lot of them. So I suppose that the next time I'm there to visit her, or something, I can visit that. Good idea. Just sucks that I don't have one nearby.

[barbie]

How about this?



http://www.amazon.com/Teva-Womens-Toachi-Sandal-Algiers/dp/B00852ZGIG

Today I ordered this one.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B008J549QY

The price was about $60, but the handling and delivery was about $45 (international delivery) 

barbie~~

[barbie]

For sneakers, how about basketball shoes? Once they were a trend here, and I have two pairs. One is like:



barbie~~

[A]

That's nice of you, but I think we have very different tastes. Indeed, two-strapped sport sandals would fit fine, but I really, really dislike those. And well, sandals in general, they're a problem: ortheses, even if they do hold in the sandal fine, which will not necessarily be the case, they're likely to look silly, exposed like that.

And uhm, basketball shoes, they're not really what I like. And well, I already got a pair of sneakers, so what I'm looking for right now is shoes that aren't sneakers. Something that would for example look more appropriate with a skirt or dress.

[Theo]

On Amazon.com, the "insoles" search in women's shoes isn't helping much... Am I doing something wrong? I only see obscure brands I never have or will see in stores, and most of them only say "we have an insole for comfort".

Anyway, by insole, do you mean a sort of sheet in the bottom of the shoe that makes it more comfortable, that you can remove? If so, I've seen countless of those at stores. And funnily, the pair that fit the best was the one in which there was no such thing. Even by removing insoles, most of them are way too low for my foot, or just not wide enough to fit my orthese in. Or the orthese fits, but stretches the shoe in a way that would ruin it within weeks. Looks like those removable insole things aren't helping much...

Actually orthese = removable insole, or orthotic  -- you can also throw orthotic at Amazon.com, but the list will be quite a bit shorter. Yes, many of the brands will be obscure, which is pretty much the point Many stores will not stock them, hence the idea of checking the manufactures' websites to see which shops might do so after all. In some cases you may end up going directly to an orthopaedic shop instead of a normal shoe shop.

As for the "normal" insoles: yes, there are the completely flat variants, but many manufactures will have fully arched and built up ones which are pretty much the same shape and height as normal orthotics, making it a simple step to swap them in without making the shoes too small.

[A]

Hmm... I see. Thanks. Just sucks that I need to do this stuff. I wouldn't mind exchanging my feet for some size 12's or something right now.

[Joanna Dark]

Maybe you could get some nice ballet flats. That's what I wear 24/7 and I feel like it is very femme and they are super comfy.

[A]

I haven't found any that fit yet. Too narrow for the orthese.

[Mollie]

My left foot is a 6 1/2 and my right is an 8. That presents a few problems.

[BunnyBee]

Nordstrom has a good selection of larger sizes in nice quality, online in particular.

[A]

Uhm, as I said, my problems are height and ortheses (and secondarily width), not shoe size. 40 / 9 can be found pretty much anywhere. It's nice though that there's a search filter for width. But regardless, it's pointless if I can't try it on...

[BunnyBee]

For sizes outside the norm sometimes you have to go through the internet to get things.  Nordstrom has a very liberal return policy if it doesn't fit.   But I can see how it would be pretty frustrating to have to wait two weeks before you can even see if a shoe fits and then another 4 weeks till you get a new pair if it doesn't. 

[BunnyBee]

Btw I do understand a little bit, cause I wearing shoes right now that are the right length and width but hurt my feet to wear because of my high arch.  The next size up is like an inch too long, so... sometimes your feet just have to hurt if you want a certain shoe bad enough.   Not that I recommend doing this lol.

[A]

Bleh, the only fitting shoes we found, my sneakers, hurt a little. And I didn't want those bad enough or any such thing.

But seriously, no. I'm not spending my time at the post office to bring shoes back and forth and wait months before I can finally try on something that fits. When you need a larger shoe size that isn't found in most stores, shopping on the Internet is quite okay. You have a normal, albeit large, foot. Your size is hard to find, but if you find it, it's likely to fit. But with a problem like mine, there's absolutely no information on a website that would make me think that a pair of shoes has a good chance of fitting, compared to another. And from what I've seen, if I include ugly shoes, there's approximately 3-4 % of shoes that somewhat fit. I'm guessing you can make that 1-2 % if you only include shoes I like. That's 50-100 pairs of shoes to order and return and wait for, in average, before I find my fit. Seriously, that's not remotely reasonable.