Hi my birth Name is Adam I go by Adella when I can,
I am in the process of understanding my sexuality and have been attend therapy for awhile to help me understand my gender dysphoria and to work towards accepting who I truly am despite the consequences of it as I am not able to be happy anymore being Adam I have fought it because my families beliefs but I can no longer let them define me. I am a MtF TG I do not actively dress daily yet though I do present female when I can as Adella, and have actively engaged in feminizing processes of laser hair removal from my face, arms, legs and entire body. I also wear feminine under garments everyday and dress as a woman when I am by myself, bra, breast enhancers, corset to help with feminine body shape, wig when my hair is short. I would integrate other feminine actives such as painting my nails but the last I tried this was on Halloween and even then it did not go over well at home. Though it wen fairly well on campus people were more curious than anything and I even got compliments on them from some of the girls in my classes they were midnight star black with blood orange red french tips as it was Halloween. Any other time I have tried this I am made to remove it as soon as I leave my room even if it is just a mellow white or a french tip with a coat of clear. I am not even really permitted to wear nightshirts out of room as they resemble a dress to much for my family. I am now more sure of myself than ever in my need to transition something I have been wishy washy about due to my family situation, but I realize now, that I cannot continue to live in these shadows and I am ccing my therapist on this e-mail so he will know my new resolve, and commitment to become the woman I am instead of the man that I am not. I have felt this way truly for a very long time though I first time my parents even looked into it I was 12 and the diagnoses made were ignored, and I feel i have suffered the consequences greatly as transition then would have been a lot better then than now at 28, better late than never I though anyway hopefully your group is still around.
But that is just how I am doing at the moment not who I am
as for an introduction
I am a bio possible inter-sexed male, I did show feminine traits early on in life but was still raised male. I have know since I was little and tried to tell my parents when I was 12 and it was buried and remained just in my room until, my early 20's when it came roaring back or I should say the true me demanded some part in my life again. My best friends growing up were always girls and I always wanted to be one of them, my mom being a girl scout troop leader, inadvertently was defeating her male agenda for me by letting me go on all the troop activities with her and even sell cookies etc..., but that happy time ended around 13 for me when the last of her troop had gone. I was even considered an honorary girl scout by many of local troop leaders and esp. my mother and all of her scouts consider me more or less just another girl scout. So it is strange now her aversion to what seems so obvious to me. Anyway rambling again I am currently finishing college as a double major in international business and relations, and a double minor in finance and geography, I also have an A.A.S. in network engineering and 13+ years of implementation, design, integration, training, and trouble shooting experience. I read latin speak German and English, I currently work for a large train company in computers and have been there for 4 years. I live at home out of medical necessity, cost currently much of which is caused by my stress of not being able to be me. I love to cook, design, jewelry, play computer games, chess, and anything that challanges my mind. I also enjoy getting outdoors riding bikes, taking walks, going to the beach and love playing paintball and airsoft, show the boys they aren't the only ones who can shot even if I am physically one of them currently. I have always loved purple hues as my favorite color, lastly I am very OCD and working through treatment for that and anxiety. I hope this is somewhat intelligible
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D(Delilah) Adella P.
