Could I be making myself TG?

[Tristan]

So who decides if we make ourselves trans or whatever and what if we do? Is someone gunna drank us

[Lyric]

So would that be any groups that are lgbt friendly (including arts related communities) as well as certain subcultures?  Also, being in big cities as well.

Those are good places to start. As Emily said, some of the Unitarian groups are quite good people. Once you hook up with a few tolerant or "cool" people, they can point you toward other groups in your area. There are less organized groups of friends and such, too. I've had a circle of friends like this I've known for over 3 decades. All are decidedly educated, liberal and have a very positive view of diversity. We don't all hang out as much as we did when we were in our 20s, but we're always there for each other.

I think the web and social media make it much easier to connect with similarly-minded groups than in the past. It can take a bit of time and effort, but if you keep positive and open to possibilities you can find such people.

~ Lyric ~

[GQandi]

Hi, I feel your pain and I am so sorry to hear things are so confusing. I was the same way when I first started my T journey. I would relax as much as possible. Try looking deeply into yourself and do what is right a good book I found is "The Transgender Guidebook" by Anne L Boedecker. It really helped me along the journey and discusses phases you might go thru.
Much Loves,
Hugs

[Cleopatra]

Hey guys. I can totally understand how life runs in phases of being certain one time and then questioning everything another time. I can only offer my experiences of having a boyfriend who in his mid 30's decided he could not continue any longer living as a man when he had thought so much and so many times of becoming the girl he always knew he was. Not an easy decision for anyone particularly when he has children and lots of family and friends and of course me his boyfriend. However we discussed the issues and with the knowledge of executing a rough and stressful passage decided it was time! I support him in his transition totally because that is what she wants and what she must do to be happy and fulfilled. I would not suggest its been easy for us but she is well on the way to being totally out to everyone and I know and can see and feel how much happier she is. She is a beautiful girl and I love her exactly as before. I wish everyone else happiness and success in this journey.

[E-Brennan]

Awesome post, Kelly. That's me, almost 100%.

I'm not a girly girl, not in the least.. But I am undoubtedly a woman. I never suffered from body dysphoria, not the way it described around here. I have no need for SRS, although I'd have it if the opportunity arose.. I use the same voice I've always had. I'm a bit of a rebel..

The only thing I'm struggling with is the "woman" part of it all.  I see myself more as "not a man" rather than a "woman", although I'm leaning towards a more female presentation recently, although still clearly male to most. I too have no need for SRS (now, at least), which I why I struggle with the whole woman thing - the body dysphoria, other than a once-in-a-while desire for a cute pair of tits and a vagina (but more because I don't like the way my penis feels rather than because I need to have a vagina, and more because dresses fit far better with a pair of socks stuffed in my bra), is not really an issue.  It's more social, cultural, and the way that others interact with me.  I'd rather they treated me as female (and not necessarily as a physical woman), rather than male.

I'd be happy just wearing a long wig and makeup, pretty clothes once in a while, and having others communicate with me as if I'm not a man. I know I probably fall into that strange category that lies towards the female side of the spectrum, but doesn't quite get there, and I'd be happy with "let's pretend that he's a girl, and I don't want to admit this to you guys but she looks kinda cute sometimes."

[Matthieu]

It's so interesting to hear how others feel about their gender identity and genitalia preference/ comfortably. I myself have a very hard time seeing myself as a female,  yet have a strong desire to rid myself of this penis I was given.  like I have said before, I really think I am a butch  lesbian born in a male body, I have no other way to logically classify it. I kind of like my masculine body,  but do not like my sex,  so how do you categorize that??

[E-Brennan]

I have no idea how to categorize that, other than by just saying you're one more vital piece of this giant gender jigsaw puzzle we're all a part of.  I might be on one side, you might be up near another corner somewhere, but we're all part of the same jumbled up mess that we're trying to sort out.

[Jess42]

It's so interesting to hear how others feel about their gender identity and genitalia preference/ comfortably. I myself have a very hard time seeing myself as a female,  yet have a strong desire to rid myself of this penis I was given.  like I have said before, I really think I am a butch  lesbian born in a male body, I have no other way to logically classify it. I kind of like my masculine body,  but do not like my sex,  so how do you categorize that??

I can kind of identify with you except I'm a lipstick lesbian born in a male body with certain bi tendancies. I have no big desire to rid myself of my penis, if it did somehow magically disappear and be replaced with a vagina I wouldn't complain though. I can easily see myself as a female with tiny tiny breasts. I don't really think there are black and white classifications. We're just as diverse as the cis population when it comes to preferences, desires, politics and everything else under the sun. The only difference is our gender identity.

[Erin Kay Howell]

I can kind of identify with you except I'm a lipstick lesbian born in a male body with certain bi tendancies. I have no big desire to rid myself of my penis, if it did somehow magically disappear and be replaced with a vagina I wouldn't complain though. I can easily see myself as a female with tiny tiny breasts. I don't really think there are black and white classifications. We're just as diverse as the cis population when it comes to preferences, desires, politics and everything else under the sun. The only difference is our gender identity.

All of this, except I'd love to be rid of my penis.... almost cut it off.. just saying

[Jess42]

All of this, except I'd love to be rid of my penis.... almost cut it off.. just saying

Big time "ouch". That even hurts just thinking about it.

[Katelyn]

Big time "ouch". That even hurts just thinking about it.

There have been times where I wish I could just cut it off, but I have to remind myself that 1) I'll bleed to death, 2) I need it for SRS. 

[Jess42]

There have been times where I wish I could just cut it off, but I have to remind myself that 1) I'll bleed to death, 2) I need it for SRS.

Yep, it might be a good thing not to destroy it.

[Annika]

This is a very interesting topic, especially for people like me who are still struggling with their gender identity and their place in the TG spectrum. It has finally motivated me to contribute to this forum after almost one year of silent reading.

I hope you don't mind when I once again go back to the initial questions:

Could I be making myself TG? Could I be just a hypochondriac?

I have put exactly the same questions to myself and also discussed them with my gender therapist.

I also tend to be an experienced hypochondriac.  When I feel the slightest symptoms of a cold I do a lot of internet research to find the most severe and deadly disease which I then believe I have (although deep down I know my thoughts are ridiculous). This leads to even more research, but at a certain point, the circle can be broken and I can smile at myself wondering what a fool I am.

In contrast to hypochondriasis, my thoughts about being TG are far more serious. They are not as absurd as having a severe illness because of some very unspecific symptoms. But there is another good reason why the comparison of GID with hypochondriasis or OCD does not fit. My therapist told me that the latter are egodystonic, they are not consistent with the person's self-perception, i.e. "I actually do not want to do more research, because deep inside I know that I am not ill, but I cannot do anything against it". In contrast, GID is classified as egosyntonic which means that my TG thoughts are in harmony with my innermost feelings (which does not mean that they won't cause lots of trouble).

For me, experiencing feminity is linked to very positive feelings, sometimes addictive like a drug. But it is not like having a severe illness at all which merely should cause very negative feelings. Therefore my therapist is sure (and I am convinced) that it has nothing to do with hypochondriasis.

But I cannot say to which extent the TG thoughts are amplified by permanently dealing with the topic. When I told my therapist that I have spent much time gathering informations in forums, he prescribed a two-week internet abstinence that I managed to cope with without any problems. However, my TG feelings remained on a constant level during those days.

One thing, however, I have learned so far is that the more I deal with the TG topic the less I understand and the more confused I get. I hope that one day I will see clearer.

Annika

[Tristan]

I say try being yourself in the other gender to get a answer. It could help some