Congratulations for being on T, mate! That's a huge thing - and I assure you that it's completely normal to feel a bit apprehensive - and to expect things to start happening right away. Your situation sounds very similar to mine - I am now 18 months on T and I'd like to tell you about how our situations are similar and what happened with mine.
Quote from: Mr.X on July 18, 2013, 08:27:48 AMWhy, body, why? Most guys stop the moment they get T, so why not me?
Not true. I belong to several FTM discussion groups outside of Susan's, and the number of guys who stop right away contrasted with the number of guys who stop months down the line are about even.
My situation: my "personal time" took about 5 months to stop. From the moment I was on T, it became irregular - I would bleed for weeks on end and then stop. Then two weeks later, it would start again. Then, at about 5 months, nothing - and it hasn't returned.
Quote from: Mr.X on July 18, 2013, 08:27:48 AMOn top of that, I'm a rather lonely person. Finally, after a while of being lonely, a friend is coming over. We planned on hanging out in the park, all day long, enjoying the sun. But guess what? Due to this shark week I will be constantly worrying about soaky pads and toilets.
Are you able, at all, to use tampons? I know that they can be very triggering for some guys (myself included), but I found that using tampons helped to curb the dysphoria because I WASN'T constantly having to look at and touch pads and to feel them there. Just an option. You will also not have to worry as much about going to to the toilet - not nearly as often.
Quote from: Mr.X on July 18, 2013, 08:27:48 AMOn top of that, he's going to stay over for a night. And seeing that I have a tendency to go to the toilet at least 3 times a night when I have this horrible female condition to flush that grossness out, he'll be wondering what the eff is up with me. Yes...I hate it and I don't know what to do.
Mate, I go to the toilet 3 times a night and I'm not having "personal time". People go to the toilet for a great number of reasons - and I assure you, most guys aren't thinking about "hmmm, I wonder why he's going to the toilet so much?". If he does say anything, just joke and say something didn't sit right with you or that you have the runs - blow it off and don't make a big deal of it and it won't be one.
Quote from: Mr.X on July 18, 2013, 08:27:48 AMNext tot that, I'm really wondering I am one of those rare persons who is insensitive to the T. After 9 weeks on a normal dose, I have barely noticed a thing. The only thing I noticed is a teeny weeny growth down there in the first two weeks, and that's it. No hunger, no libido increase, no hair growth, my voice is pretty much the same etc. ....I'm just downright scared I'm stuck with this body forever. I don't expect miracles such as a beard, but I expected something.
I felt exactly the same way.
Being on Susan's first, all I saw here were the reports of guys who A) had stopped their monthly horrors the minute they had a T injection and B) started having voice changes, beard growth, etc. within two or three weeks.
That is not typical - again, I say this as I belong to several groups and I see the number of guys who report a variety of changes at a variety of points on the transition timeline.
Let me tell you about mine. I was 3 months on T and no changes. Nada. That's about 3 weeks longer than you have been on T now.
I had made videos of myself from the time I started T every month just to have a log - at almost 4 months, I looked back at them. I was startled. I could hear a slight change in my voice - and yet had never experienced the first "cracking" or "sore throat" that you read so much about.
At 6 months, my voice was completely male - passing over the phone and not a single episode of "cracking" and "sore throat". If I hadn't been looking back at those videos I made of myself and had not been getting "sir" on the phone - I would still believe that nothing had changed at that point.
It was at about the 5 month mark that I noticed small dark hairs coming in. Mind you, they were very few and far between, but there. And then the fuzz (white vellus hairs) started to get thicker. No dramatic sudden change. Very subtle.
Looking back at photos (again, made monthly) I could see how the fat had started re-distributing over my body.
But none of these changes were noticeable until about 5 months. You are only 9 weeks.
DO NOT judge yourself and what is or is not happening to your body by what you read on forums. I have also noticed that a great many guys, especially young ones, exaggerate and read into "sore throats" and "cracking" - I'm also sure that some of them are so eager to see a single change that they will almost convince themselves that there is one when there isn't.
The process is slow, gradual and it doesn't happen overnight - and it doesn't happen in 9 weeks. It doesn't happen in 9 months. I am 18 months and my changes are still happening. One thing about starting T that therapists and doctors are supposed to discuss with the patient is to
have realistic expectations.
Fantasy: You start T and two weeks later have a manly voice and beard hairs sprouting. Your period is gone forever and your biceps are already bulging.
Reality: You start T and 6 months later you have a few fuzzy black hairs on your upper lip. Your voice is a little deeper, but maybe not passable yet. Your personal time comes and goes. You still have some "chubby" distribution on your thighs and bum.
In some ways, being on forums and in support groups can be damaging to your transition. I say that because there are sometimes so many guys exaggerating changes or perhaps the ones who really do have those rare early changes are the only ones you see and fixate on. Don't be convinced that you are androgen insensitive - these changes can take YEARS. That is the reality of transition. If you expect any less you will be sorely disappointed and I have seen guys debating going off T just because the changes they wanted weren't happening fast enough. That isn't the point of transition. You don't get to pick and choose what changes you get and when. This is the one thing you have little control over - you ultimately need to sit back, wait and let the hormone work.
Don't start having these doubts so early on - don't start debating changing your dosage or anything like that until you have a legitimate reason to. 9 weeks is a drop in the ocean, mate. 9 months and no changes? THEN perhaps you can think about whether or not there is an issue with your dosage, but androgen insensitivity is far-fetched at this point. Be strong and stop comparing your transition with others'.
