What are you thinking? (Ver 5.0)

[DriftingCrow]

Sometimes I can't tell if I am crazy/delusional or not. . . Like, I swear I turned off my laptop when I left for work this morning, then I come home and it's on and I can't log in by my super easy password and the hint says "Ask X, he might know" even though I swear my hint was just my password. So, I ask X and he's all like "IDK what you're talking about", then poof, mysteriously I am able to log in. I asked if he remotely changed it on me, and he basically says I am nuts. I've since disabled any remote access settings on my laptop, or at least I hope I did, but he swears he didn't download anything on my computer.
Crazy? ? ?

Susans looks wider lol

Yes it does, I couldn't think of a way to describe it, but you're right.

[CalmRage]

How long? How long until peace of mind?

[Edge]

I just realized I can't see the Just For Us and Sexuality forums.

I would so enlist at the mages guild and learn how to summon daedra and how to fortify charm. "Hello, can i have this iphone for free?" "I love you, you're marvellous, have the whole store!"
or
how about the ability to summon Haskill, the servant of Sheogorath as my servant. Hehe.

I want to be like Rumpelstiltskin from Once Upon a Time. Uber powerful, evil, and with my hands in everything.

[CalmRage]

I am God. Bow to me.

[ZoeM]

I just realized I can't see the Just For Us and Sexuality forums.I want to be like Rumpelstiltskin from Once Upon a Time. Uber powerful, evil, and with my hands in everything.

They're in the subscriber section.

[CalmRage]

I think i might have a genuine problem.

[CalmRage]

Being Sara would probably make me feel even more uncomfortable than being "birthname", so why am I on here?

[King Malachite]

Sometimes I can't tell if I am crazy/delusional or not. . . Like, I swear I turned off my laptop when I left for work this morning, then I come home and it's on and I can't log in by my super easy password and the hint says "Ask X, he might know" even though I swear my hint was just my password. So, I ask X and he's all like "IDK what you're talking about", then poof, mysteriously I am able to log in. I asked if he remotely changed it on me, and he basically says I am nuts. I've since disabled any remote access settings on my laptop, or at least I hope I did, but he swears he didn't download anything on my computer.
Crazy? ? ?

Yes it does, I couldn't think of a way to describe it, but you're right.

First I thought something was wrong with my computer lol.


I'm thinking about Sunday where I told my sister and her cousin "jokingly" that I need to see a "psychiatrist" and that I actually have one in mind.  My sister asks who and I told her that's not for her to know, she goes "I'll find out" and I told her "I'd like to see you try." 

Even though I brought it up to them as a "joke" (when in reality, there is some truth in it), the way my sister said "I'll find out" kind of concerned me.  She knows I'm trans and I'm sure she knows something is up but it makes me think if she would go as to try and stop me from doing what I need to do.  I doubt it since she told me that I'm an adult but still.... She may be concerned with her image in my church and I know when the church members start seeing me with a flat chest they will ask her why I did that.

Too lazy to add to this

[DriftingCrow]

I can't wait for my base painting to dry so I can finish painting my picture. . . .ugh. . . I wish I had a hair dryer. . .

[King Malachite]

Lemmy Kilmister can do a remake of ANY song and make it sound awesome.  I've said this before and I will keep saying it in the future.  I am confident that there is not a single song on the planet that Lemmy Kilmister can't make sound awesome.  I love that man.

[DriftingCrow]

I love Pammi Bai, I think I'll do a painting of him next cuz he's just such a badass.

[Edge]

My endo gave me the name and phone number of a psychologist he wants me to see to confirm I'm trans. I called yesterday and was told that she wasn't seeing new patients, but that the secretary would talk to her and get back to me this morning. I haven't heard back yet. I'll wait a day and then call again. I'd most likely just see her once unless she wants to draw it out.

[CalmRage]

They told me i was too young to be a space rider

Space Rider, you got me going,
Space Rider, you see me moving on,

[CalmRage]

Don Preston, synthesizer pioneer and all-around weirdo. Over 80 years old and still on-stage, even playing iPod keyboard solos at the "Grandmothers of Invention" concerts.



Frank Zappa and The Mothers of Invention - King Kong (1968 at BBC) 1/3

Tom Fowler - bass (actual Mothers member)
Don Preston (aka Dom DeWild)- keyboard (actual Mothers member)
Napoleon Murphy Brock - vocals  (actual Mothers member)
Robbie "Seahag" Mangano - guitar
Chris Garcia - drums

They're really great. A shame i couldn't go to their concert near my home last year. One of the best Zappa tribute acts, 3 out of 5 members having played with him.

[DriftingCrow]

Title searches are so boring. . . 

[matthewzguitarz]

Wondering if I could somehow block people from seeing my youtube feed, kind of made the mistake of messaging a real life friend, and then I saw my feed full of MTF videos and stuff... kind of weird now since just to see if he actually checks his youtube, I told him I'm gay(I'm actually straight... or maybe I am asexual?).. I don't think he is going to reply now.

Also wondering what instrument I should learn next, guess violin and guitar aren't enough for me. Maybe ukulele or bass guitar.. or piano, harmonica.. or just learn them all at some point...

Wow.. already bored and I just finished school for 2 weeks

By the way, I always am thinking of multiple things at once, sometimes I even think of really weird things that freak me out, like wondering what it would be like to jump out of a car, or think about just telling everyone about this whole trans thing.. even though that would hurt me in the future.

I shall stop now, before I make people go insane *pictures self as that one weird crazy girl from Firefly*

[King Malachite]

Wondering if I could somehow block people from seeing my youtube feed, kind of made the mistake of messaging a real life friend, and then I saw my feed full of MTF videos and stuff... kind of weird now since just to see if he actually checks his youtube, I told him I'm gay(I'm actually straight... or maybe I am asexual?).. I don't think he is going to reply now.

1. Click on your account name

2. Go to Youtube settings

3. Click on "privacy" on your left

4. Check the first two boxes under "like and subscriptions" and decide how you want to do your search and contacts.

5. Click on save when you're done.

[matthewzguitarz]

1. Click on your account name

2. Go to Youtube settings

3. Click on "privacy" on your left

4. Check the first two boxes under "like and subscriptions" and decide how you want to do your search and contacts.

5. Click on save when you're done.

Eh, ended up just keeping it as it is, sure some of my extended family has already seen my youtube, and I decided I don't have anything to hide People will find out eventually, guess this could make it sort of easier since I will never be brave enough to tell people face to face, because then I have to see their expressions as I tell them

[CalmRage]

I came dancing across the water
with my synthie and guitar
Looking for a new sound
In the land of the rising sun

On the shore lay Nagasaki,
with its cherry trees and herbs
And the people often asked me,
what are you doing here

And the women all look beautiful,
and the men stay tall and strong,
And they sacrificed their J-pop,
so that music could go on

Pro-tools was just a legend,
auto-tune was never known,
and the people helped each other,
and they loved the Rolling Stones

And I know I don't want to live there,
but i love it more everyday,
and i still can't remember when,
or where i lost my way

I came dancing across the water,
rip-off, rip-off
that sounds killer!

I'm so sorry, Mr.Neil Young

[Edge]

Man, I keep getting obsessed with fictional characters who remind myself of and/or who I want to emulate. This time, it's a random character from Holes which is also a little embarrassing since it is a kids' book. I really want it to be time I like my own life instead of living vicariously through fictional characters. Why do I feel blocked from doing so?