My sexuality these days is one huge mess, and I am no longer certain where I stand. Most of the time I feel completely asexual, yet I still notice women, but now it feels more like a lingering habit that makes me look their way. Men might as well be invisible to me when it comes to sexual attraction.
Despite these feelings when a man did show me attention, I responded with interest, which is more than a little surprising to me but not too surprising. Before my transition, I was a very sexual and a very bicurious straight man. Anyway, despite my interest I wanted nothing more from him than his attention. When I received attention from a woman, I liked that as well, but again I think it was more the attention that I liked. In both cases, I am pretty sure they wanted more from me.
It is weird. I went from heterosexual (more likely bisexual) male with a high libido to lesbian in early transition with a moderate libido to sorta bicurious lesbian with almost no libido to something more resembling asexual but still notices women despite having no real desire for sex. It appears the older I get the more I desire to be single.
To give people some context, I have been physically transitioning for four and a half years now. During that time besides hrt I had an orchiectomy and a year later srs.
Anyway, trying to figure this stuff out gives me a headache, and who wants to think about sex with a headache?
