LTL- Yes surgery for me is equally as scary. But in my case both surgeries I've had so far (trach shave + voice surgery) have been 100% necessary through my eyes.
And I feel exactly the same for this surgery, if not even more necessary than the voice surgery. I've been seeking ways to augment my hips for almost a decade of my life already... even before I fully realized my trans-ness. Needless to say, I was very confused with myself living as a male
LOL. Now, everything makes perfect sense to me. I am extremely willed to have this done in the safest & most effective way. I am positive it is the right surgery for me.
There has been some mention of my resources to fund this along with the rest of my transition... and I do want to touch on that because I don't like feeling that people see me as Ms. Moneybags...
I guess the comment of "if I had Jenny's money" is why I want to talk about it a little.
When I was in my early 20s, I had very little money. Just barely enough to live comfortably. I was by a large margin the lowest paid graduate in my class a year out of design school. I had always just hoped that someday I would be able to afford this "fix" for my body, but most of the time it seemed downright unattainable and I feared that I might be stuck with crappy paying jobs forever. That is when I battled severe agoraphobia and generalized anxiety disorder which debilitated me for almost a year, but I still kept working towards a goal. Concurrently, that was the most severe bout of dysphoria I've ever had as well- besides the most recent one (jumping ahead of myself now) which spawned my transition... This time, though, I had the funds to do something about it.
Some might say that I've been very lucky with finding a well paying job, but I know it's because I've put in years worth of blood sweat and tears and taken risks against my family's wildest discouragements. In '07, I dropped my career in Ohio and moved to LA where I was immediately working 90-120hr weeks and still not getting paid much more than I was in the midwest. But, I trusted deep down that it would be worth it in the long run because the work was better and I was building my portfolio. After almost a year of that crazy job, I took another risk and went freelance because I couldn't handle the hours (and more so because my end all goal since grade 7 was to be a successful freelancer living in California). It didn't start out smoothly and I had to search for gigs day in and day out, but over the past 5 years I've managed to build a client base to the point where I no longer have to hustle for work. I've built my reputation and people know to seek me out for specialized tasks in the field. It has been a joyous ride with small accomplishments that eventually added up, but by no means was it easy or effortless (not saying that anyone thought that I'm just sayin'). I've busted my butt to get where I am today, don't doubt it for a second!
Alright I'm gonna go buy a few tubs of Salmon now. Byeeee
LOL
