Avoiding outting others

[Nygeel]

Answering a rude question without telling a lie yourself is a good skill to have in many situations and is worthwhile practicing.

I needed that laugh.

[Arch]

I needed that laugh.

Glad you enjoyed it.

[Adam (birkin)]

I don't think I've ever been asked if someone else was trans, but I have been asked if a trans friend had "the surgery" yet. My response was "I don't know, I don't ask her those kinds of questions."

So maybe if someone asks "is that person trans?" you could say "I don't know." Lol. It's not true, yeah, you know he is trans...but eh. I think saying something along the lines of "it's not my place to say" pretty much confirms their "suspicions." Honestly, if they asked him and he said yeah, and they somehow found out you lied about not knowing - then say, "well, it's none of your business to ask me that in the first place, and I'm not going to out my friend without his permission, so yeah, I lied."

I've encountered people like that though and it reminds me why I've come to hate a lot of people - those who are educated enough to recognize trans symbols and whatnot, but apparently lack the education to know that it's not their business and not appropriate to assume someone is trans. Do they look at all the men they see on the street and think "hey, I wonder if that guy is trans, I totally need to know so I can be a good ally to him."

[Keaira]

It is so not cool to out someone to your buddies just because you have no sense of ethics. Ever heard the term, "Loose lips sink ships?"
If the wrong people found out then it could endanger that person. I know some of us are flag wavers  and out and proud, but that person has every right not to have their personal history divulged to someone they have never met. If someone tells me they are trans, then it goes no further unless told otherwise. And a trans tattoo doesn't automatically mean a person is trans. What if they have it in support of a brother or sister who transitioned and was murdered? People get all kinds of tattoos for all manner of reasons.

Nygeel, you did the right thing. Good on you!

[Arch]

Not to derail the thread, but that's a really cute pic, Keaira.

All right, back on track.

[vegie271]

I probably wouldn't have said that, because I'd be paranoid that they'd read into it and realise that I'd have probably said, "What, no?" if they were cis.  If they didn't know that I'd known them for a long time I'd have probably just tried to play it cool and tell them that I didn't know, any why didn't they ask them, but make it perfectly clear that it's not an okay question through my mannerisms.

I am going to be living stealth - seriously people - this is the proper reaction to be giving! any  cis person give the reaction  WTF! is that person trans? they either have no idea what you are talking about or can not see what you are seeing.

AND if you were to ask a cis man if he were trans this means you are saying he was born a womon - he is going to slug you.

[Nygeel]

I am going to be living stealth - seriously people - this is the proper reaction to be giving! any  cis person give the reaction  WTF! is that person trans? they either have no idea what you are talking about or can not see what you are seeing.

AND if you were to ask a cis man if he were trans this means you are saying he was born a womon - he is going to slug you.

We're not born women but I'm going to skip that.

It's much more likely for him to think the other way around since most people only know of the existence of trans women, crossdressers, etc. 

[vegie271]

We're not born women but I'm going to skip that.

It's much more likely for him to think the other way around since most people only know of the existence of trans women, crossdressers, etc.

my bad declared female at birth I have been corrected  *embarrassed*

[Keaira]

Not to derail the thread, but that's a really cute pic, Keaira.

All right, back on track.

Thank you. ^_^

So.., yes... back on topic.

Look guys, we need to respect each other enough not to spread gossip about our brothers and sisters. No one else will respect that right. Heck, up in Caleb's neck of the woods, the gay community tries to out us.
When I worked at Valeo Sylvania there was this one incident where I was trying to get a press to make good parts. And an Engineer across from me was doing the same with some prototype parts. He came over to me and said, " I really admire you and respect you for what you are doing."
I was a little confused. And asked him to please clarify that statement.
He said, " For going through all this for your wife and trying to make the marriage work."
I was still confused. But I had an idea of what he was talking about. Finally he explained that he had heard that my wife was a lesbian and that I was transitioning because I wanted to still be with her.

I explained to him that my wire is very much a straight woman, she does not like my transition one bit and I am doing this for reasons he probably wouldn't understand.

He looked a little embarassed but, he at least knew the truth straight from the horses mouth. It would have been very easy to play along with this rumor but I wont spread rumors and gossip. It kind of hurt to have my life spread about the factory in such a fantastical story.
Better to be hated for who you are than loved for something you're not.. -Kurt Cobain