So for the past couple weeks I have really been dressing as a girl and been happy about it. But last on Wednesday at the mall I was just trying on some clothes, a GnR shirt with a denim jacket and was told I couldn't use the changing room since it was a womens clothing store. Here I was dressed in just jeans and a shirt, might I emphasize that these were womens clothes, and was told "sir you can't change here." Honestly this really upset me and caused me to almost break down, I didn't because I didn't want to make a scene.
It made me feel extremely self conscious about this body which I am desperately trying to make more comfortable, left me feeling horribly embarrassed and just in general upset at the situation. This isn't the first time things like this has happened, it hurts every time it happens. I feel like people just perceive me as a man in womens clothing and not a person becoming a woman. I know I shouldn't be embarrassed about it but society looks down upon it and I'm afraid that some people could react badly.
I just hate being reminded that I was born as a male, I'm trying to undue some years worth of testosterone damage to this body of mine. I don't need to be reminded of it every time I go out whether it is verbal or just people staring at me like I'm some sort of freak. In an ideal world people would be asking about preferred pronouns but it isn't. In reality we are such a small community that people in general are just ignorant of our issues at best and just plain malicious at worst. Being ten months and a few weeks into my transition, and just over eight months on hormones I am just realizing how hard it can be to be transgender. People are uncomfortable with what they don't know and only a few are willing to become knowledgeable.
