Doctor said no.

[Yuki-jker86]

I received a letter today saying that I do not fulfil the criteria to be referred to the London clinic.
at first I read the diagnosis "gender dysphoria" and I felt excited. then I read the part where he said it is not gender identity disorder and he would not be referring me to the gender identity clinic.
for the first time in as long as I can remember, I started to cry in relation to something in my own life.
I've cried plenty of times watching films etc, but relating to my own life? not in as long as I can remember.
yet today, I did.
Just now, I feel worried. There is a chance I may start locking up my emotions and feelings again. I am sad because I've discovered so many things that I like. painting my toenails was kinda nice. I don't want to reach a point where I feel depressed to look at my painted toenails and end up removing the colours. I don't want to reach a point where I feel so negative looking at my dresses that I end up giving them away to charity.
I love my pink dress. I love it so much, it is a lovely material and feels nice ad smells nice and a lovely colour and my underwear is so pretty too. I feel like If I can't get the referral, I may end up withdrawing again and losing all this.
I'm actually crying again. never experienced this before.
Sorry, I'm not looking for sympathy, I just needed to talk to you all. I feel like sharing will make thigs easier and also if any of you have had a similar hurdle I'd like to hear how you got through it.
I've already located my doctors email address and sent him an email.
since my first meeting with him, I started writing down all of my thoughts and feelings. I felt that I was ill prepared for that first meeting since I didn't know what the appointment was even for. I've explained this to him and told him that I had kept the lid on my feelings up til that point so I could cope. a lot has changed since that meeting. I now own 4 pairs of knickers, 1 bra, 3 top and 3 dresses, nail varnish and a bracelet. I opened up to so much. I even managed to sing last night ad not feel very depressed afterwards. singing makes me feel very feminine you see.
ah... I think I have stacked the deck well enough with what I sent to him, but is it too late? it can't be too late. I cannot abide that.
there is no way I want to go to some therapy to make me OK with being a man. I am not a man. I cannot yet say for certain that I am a woman.... but I feel like I get closer to that each day. I feel like it is something that I want to be able to say.
in case I come up against a brick wall, what other options are there in the uk? is there private clinics where I can get hormones?

[Joe.]

I'm sorry to hear this. I'm not very well educated about private clinics in the UK but I know for definite you can get a second opinion if you think he was wrong. Go to a different doctor. It all depends on the doctor and their understanding on certain issues. I went to one doctor and told him I tried to kill myself and am suicidal. His response? 'Everyone feels like that sometimes'. I wasn't happy with his care so I went to another doctor for a second opinion. She made an emergency referral to the child and adolescent mental health service. What I'm trying to say is, doctors vary massively. Whilst this guy thinks you're not suitable, another doctor may think you're perfectly suitable. Anyway, a referral to the London clinic doesn't mean you have to have GID, it's for you to tall through with an expert about your feelings and go from there. Your doctor (is it your GP?) isn't in the place to diagnose you. There's a procedure he needs to follow. I'd seriously ask to see another doctor. All the best.

[Yuki-jker86]

it's not my GP, it's part of the mental health dept. I think it's a centre specialising in gender issues because there were a few other people there that seemed to not fit in to the 'societal norm'.
Thanks, I will certainly try and see another doctor if I don't manage to change his diagnosis.
You are right, this is my life, I have to fight for what is best for me.
Thank you.

[Joe.]

Ah right I see. You're still within your rights to ask for a second opinion. Usually they only refuse a referral to a gender clinic if there is a mental health issue that could be making you think you have GID. But even if that is the case, he should talk through this with you. Did he give you any reasons why you're not being referred or even talk it through with you?

[FTMDiaries]

Yes, there are private clinics in the UK. You'll go through their screening process like any other patient. If you do have Gender Dysphoria they'll prescribe hormones & refer you for surgery; if you don't have Gender Dysphoria they'll point you in a more appropriate direction. There are a couple in London that I know of - and one of them is the private practice of one of the specialists working at Charing Cross. If you Google "gender clinic uk" you'll see some options there.

I reiterate Joey's advice that you're always entitled to a second opinion. And the NHS's rules have just changed (on 1 Aug, in fact) so that your GP can now refer you directly to a gender clinic without you seeing a mental health professional first - so go to your GP and ask them to refer you to your nearest gender clinic. I presume you're in England; here is NHS England's brand-new Protocol for Gender Dysphoria: http://www.cliniq.org.uk/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderfiles/nhsenglandinterimgenderprotocolcpag12072013.pdf

So yes, please do get a second opinion. Please also be aware that there are some conditions that can give you some symptoms that are similar to Gender Dysphoria, so if your doctor says you haven't met the criteria then ask him to explain exactly how you do not meet the criteria and what his actual diagnosis is.

Good luck.

[Jess42]

I would definately get a second opinion or at least if you see the same doc again, show them your painted toes and all the other feminine things that you do and ask him what is his opinion on that. Or if you have the courage go dressed full on femme and ask him what that means. Sorry for the little rant 'cause I usually give the therapist the benefit of the doubt but did he even discuss the dignosis with you face to face? Or was it on line sessions? Definately though, I believe it would be second opinion time for me.

[Jess42]

Not to derail the thread but I just have to add because I just saw this and now its gone, "Posts: 666". Do ya' think the universe is trying to tell me something?

[Andrea J]

I'm sorry to hear this. I don't know if it's appropriate to your situation but if you haven't already you could go to your local support group to get recommendations for doctors that are the most helpful with trans issues. That way you can give your second opinion the best chance.

[Dreams2014]

At the end of the day I think it is honestly BS that we should have to go to see a therapist in the first place. People go to a tattooist if they want their skin PERMANENTLY inked. People get their skin pierced, their skin tanned, their hair dyed, etc.

Why should we be made to feel like we have mental issues if we want to go through procedures to change our gender? It's nonsense. The NHS are idiots.







Edited improper language.

[Adam (birkin)]

I do know there are private clinics, as others have mentioned, and of course you can get a second opinion as well (probably better since it means you will get the country's health care coverage). But I'm mostly posting to say how sorry I am that this happened to you. I had to be diagnosed under Canada's health care and my very worst fear was that they'd say I wasn't trans and couldn't get treatment.

[Northern Jane]

Why should we be made to feel like we have mental issues if we want to go through procedures to change our gender? It's nonsense. The NHS are idiots.

I agree with you! It is nothing but doctors playing CYA!

The first shrink I ever saw told me I was homosexual and to accept it  I didn't stop there!!!








Edited quote.

[Dreams2014]

If I had income I would choose private health care over the NHS any day. Here in the UK people treat it with reverence. Whilst free health care sounds good on paper, it is not without its problems.

[Yuki-jker86]

thanks for all your replies everyone, I really appreciate your support
Today I spent the day with some girl friends to talk to them about this.
It just so happens I got an email from my doctor before we got on to the subject.

I had emailed my doctor earlier after Joey's reply. I sent him the file where I had been writing all my thoughts and feelings.
I told him that I can't abide that decision and that whatever it takes I would find my way forwards.
He replied saying that he is happy to reconsider his diagnosis and wants to talk to me about it in my next appointment. that's 2nd of September.
So I need to stack the deck. I know what is at stake now.
I need to find out what he expects to hear and what he will require in order to refer me to London.  ( we really need a clinic closer to north Wales, London is FAR)

once gain, thanks for your empathy guys
I feel so much better now and I have gained strength.
I feel the event has also helped me to feel more sure of myself and feel more confident. I even bought some makeup today. I mean, I even told the assistant that it was for myself.
I think that thanks to some awesome friends and the support of this great community, I've turned it around and used it to empower myself.

[HenryHall]

The NHS protocol (instructions) for your situation changed with effect from 1 August 2013.
The new guidelines can be found here
http://www.cliniq.org.uk/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderfiles/nhsenglandinterimgenderprotocolcpag12072013.pdf
you should download the file, save it, print out all 28 pages and read them carefully before your next step.
Prior to 1 August, the procedure was that your GP referred to a local psychiatrist who referred you (or not) to a GIC (gender identity clinic).
No more. Now your GP is supposed to assess that you are of sound mind and refer you directly to a GIC of your choice (technically a GIC you mutually agree on).
The list of GICs is on page 25 of that document I pointed you to.
I know that the London GIC has a policy of 2 year RLE minimum, the Exeter GIC has a policy of 1 year RLE maximum.
The other GICs I don't know about.

Download, print, read, print a second copy to give your GP, go back and see him or her. If the GP won't play ball then switch to a new GP.

Oh, I was assuming you are in England, this does not apply to Wales etc.

[edited to fix page number error]

[Dreams2014]

I also live in Wales. Moving to England before I transition lol.

[HenryHall]

I also live in Wales. Moving to England before I transition lol.

I hope you like Exeter   

[FTMDiaries]

The Exeter GIC has a policy of 1 year RLE maximum.

I'm afraid that is not quite correct. I spoke to their Clinical Director recently, and he said that their general policy is 1 year RLE, but this does depend on the patient. Most patients will proceed further after they have completed 1 year RLE but a few have other issues that need to be dealt with so their wait could be longer if they need time to sort things out. Exeter is very much patient-led so your path depends on your individual needs & circumstances and could be longer or shorter than average.

[Dreams2014]

I hope you like Exeter   

Why are you assuming I'd go to Devon? :O

[Yuki-jker86]

yeah, I believe those guidelines apply to England, the NHS works differently in Wales.
I can't say for sure, but there are things like prescriptions being free in Wales, but certain cancer treatments are not available full stop.
reading those guidelines makes me feel sad. it's all so complicated.
I just need to make the doctor see that hormones etc are the best for me and then let him figure out the details.
looking at the following page, I think I know what The doctors want to see. 

http://www.nhsdirect.wales.nhs.uk/encyclopaedia/g/article/genderdysphoria/

Criteria for teenagers and adults

To be diagnosed with gender dysphoria, a teenager or adult should:

    feel persistently and strongly that they are the wrong sex and feel a strong identification with the opposite sex
    feel discomfort in their sex and its gender role and strongly dislike and wish to be rid of the physical characteristics of their sex, such as breasts, facial and body hair and genitalia
    not have a condition that causes them to display physical attributes of the opposite sex (although this is being increasingly questioned)
    experience long-term anxiety, distress and impairment in social and occupational areas of life due to their condition

[HenryHall]

I'm afraid that is not quite correct. I spoke to their Clinical Director recently, and he said  ...

Lip service. The GICs all signed on to the new protocol but some intend to honour it mostly in the breach. But, yes, what I wrote is only broadly true, there will be a few exceptions but the clinics cannot or will not be entirely open about the exceptions.

In terms of a league table of enlightenment I would say (best to worst) Exeter, Sheffield, Nottingham, Northampton, Leeds, London (and I have no idea where Sunderland fits in). And it easily could be that Leeds belongs below London in their race to the bottom. It might be worth mentioning that the Leeds clinic (only the Leeds clinic as far as I know) is in an unsavoury (scary) location, but that may change in the new few months, the problem has been escalated within NHS.

Oh, and it seems I should not have posted a link, so if someone knows some other way to help you find out how to download the protocol document I will be happy to edit the posting it to use whatever method is OK under the terms of service to reach the pdf file at cliniq.