small town

[Erin Brianne]

Ok...so I was reading another post and decided to write a little more about me and find out if others share some of my experiences.  I grew up in one of the close knit religious families (southern baptist) to be more precise.   There were only 1200 or so people in the town and everybody knew everybody. The fear of being harshly put down was always on my mind.  There were 6 churches here of different denominations. The nearest actual city tp me has less than 100000 people then houston at 2 hours away.  I didnt have internet or a public library while growing up (40 yrs young) to research things and asking questions would have probably got me into serious trouble due to the religious factor or shunned by my peers.  Because of these things I kept everything to myself, and still do for the most part. I still have a long time to go before a full transition in sight How many of you experienced much the same thing?  How did you deal with it?  I am contemplating a move and most likely a job change sometime next year to ease my transition. Not sure if these changes will relieve the stress or add to them. I welcome any input on this you may offer.

[JennX]

I can relate. I grew up in a small town, less than 1000 people. A very, very rural place. Corn and cows were my nearest neighbors. My HS graduating class had about 80 students in it... So we most definitely all knew each other. I didn't have net access until I went to college. That plus taking my first psychology course really opened my eyes and things started making sense to me shortly afterwards. 

Moving to a big city made a positive difference. People are definitely more accepting... And you can blend in to the urban jungle of the masses with much more ease. Less nosey, opinionated, religious minded people to deal with. Take the time to evaluate your options.

[Jamie D]

I was in high school in the 1970s and college in the 1970s and 1980s.  All that predated the internet as we know it today.  Indeed, one of my first jobs was with the USGS and we were using the DARPAnet.

I was not so much isolated by geography, but by ignorance!  Even seeing a psychiatrist on campus did not diagnose gender issues - but reassured me bisexuality was not abnormal.

It is funny how you know, deep down, something is amiss, but you can't quite put your finger on it.

[RosieD]

/quote]

That is very nearly the exact words that came out of my mouth during my first psych appointment. I am old enough to have grown up before the Internet when finding things out was more a matter of luckily bumping into a knowledgeable person than anything else. I was not lucky on that particular score,  hence my late start.

Still, never mind, eh? I got there in the end.

Rosie.

[Erin Brianne]

@jenn...your class wad almost as big as our whole hs...we had 26 graduates..I am looking into my options on moving and weighing them closely as any transition will effect my children as well

@jamie...I sincerely agree with you that we know something is amiss without really knowing what it is.  I can remember tucking at a very young age, didnt really understand other than girls were flat down there and I wanted to be one

@rosie...we may have gotten a late start but you did make it and I am well on my way

[calico]

Small town here as well ,had dial up, when I finally learned more about tg, I started seeing a therapist in another town bout an hour away, than eventually ran away  but if I had of stayed I feared I would have died, recently this year I had to deal with that small town again...not fun   

[kathyk]

I spent a part of the summers on my grandparents farms here in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, and always loved the way everybody was so friendly and helpful.  And when I went to college down the road at the local State University I fell in love with the small town charm, yet as a college student I was still separated from the communities here.  But I grew up in the SF Bay Area and hadn't looked past the charm until I moved up here for six months.  Yes, it's charming, and people are friendly or helpful when you least expect it.  But they're also extremely bigoted, and they often make sure I hear the things they say about me.  And it's for no other reason than to show their willingness to publicly insult or humiliate me. 

But I've been full time here for three months and there's an interesting change in some of my neighbors who initially kept their distance or ignored me.  Because several of them now initiate conversations, and spend more time talking to me than before my transition started.  I'm not sure if it's due to their curiosity about my life and opinions, or if it's because they're truly opening up in acceptance.

Oh, by the way.  When I grew up we had encyclopedias, dictionaries, big telephones stuck to a wall, heavy black mechanical typewriters, or just pencils and paper.  My parents paid extra for things like an AM radio in a car, or having the milkman deliver glass bottles with a little cream on top directly to our doorstep.  But we did at least have a small oval screen black and white tv that got 5 stations, and a high-fidelity record player (no stereo).  Everything electronic that is critical to me now was only a science fiction dream.  Wow, what a change.

[Renee]

I grew up in smaller areas and rural, but I have lived in Charlotte too, a decent sized city.  I prefer the small town I am in now. Sure there are a few that have issues with me, but they don't really give me any problems and treat me with respect to my face. There are a few older women around that would go off on anyone that treated me badly too as I am pretty well liked by most. The anonymity just isn't there and I think that's an advantage.

[Lesley_Roberta]

Everything is give and take.

I live in rural small town Ontario and I am stuck in a Catholic saturated community that is also primarily old persons due to a high percentage of seniors almost no industry and all cottage country supply retail.

If you do something odd here, everyone will know it.

Services here suck, access to people like me sucks, but, it's all trade off.

I can walk down the center of main street at night and there is just no one there. Most nights of the week I can walk through town butt naked and not get seen, so really, wearing a dress in town is of limited real concern.

There's no night life, but then, we have no gangs either. There is nothing to do here, but at the same time, I don't actually worry about anything being do TO me as well.

I live the lifestyle of a defacto retired person. I can't really discuss the experience of being TG in a small town at school or at work though. Never had those moments because of my life.

Transition likely would be faster and easier if I was in Toronto, but, it is also expensive to live in the city, and it has all the negative aspects of being in a city that have nothing to do with being TG as well.

[Jess42]

I grew up in a a small town where everyone knew everyone else's business through the grapevine. My graduating class was 70 someodd students. I was always the blacksheep though with family and the rest of the town so anything that came up about me was really no big deal. This helped me cope more than anything else because I grew thicker skin very early and never was worried about what people thought or said about me too much.

[kountrygurl]

I live in a very small southern town where every body makes your business their business. Was born (40+ yrs ago) and raised here, so I know or at least know of nearly every body and they know me. I have found most people are just not informed or are misinformed anyway. I've become as much an educator as anything. If people will just ask I'll do my best to explain as much as I can. I've had very few people give me any real problems. Of course there is always a few that just don't want know and would rather just pretend such things don't actually happen, except on tv. Those type people turn out to be the least important to me anyway so they really don't matter.