FTM Movies for Parents

[Arch]

Rather than resurrect this old thread, https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,135880.msg1088240.html#msg1088240, I thought I would start my own.

I'm about to come out to either my father or both parents, and I'm looking around for a couple of good FTM movies I can recommend. I guess non-documentaries would be okay, but I don't know of any good ones that explain where the FTM is coming from, so I'm aiming for documentaries.

Here's a list of trans movies (both FTM and MTF, and both documentary and non) that I hate hate hate, so please don't bother recommending them:
Boy I Am
Transamerica
Transgeneration
Southern Comfort
Gender Redesigner
(I don't like Chaz Bono, so his stuff is off the table, and, for obvious reasons, anything Brandon-Teena-related is out of the question.)

I have heard of TRANS The Movie, but their site is down, and the film doesn't seem to be on DVD. I'm guessing that it covers MTFs as well, but I guess I could live with that. On the other hand, no DVD? That won't work.

I'm wondering if Gendernauts is very radical/political--inappropriate for conservative parents? It probably does MTFs. I don't know much about it.

I haven't seen American Transgender; it sounds promising, but I'm spooked by the Amazon warning that it will show only on "play only devices" because it's a DVD-R. Does this mean that it plays on a conventional DVD player that does not record?

Some people have suggested Call Me Malcolm in the past, but I have particular reasons for not wanting to see it myself. If I don't watch it, I won't recommend it to my parents.

I haven't been able to find much else that is recent. It would be nice if I could get copies at a video store or through a library because I don't want to buy these. So they can't be too obscure. Am I setting enough tough standards here?

[CursedFireDean]

People always seem to recommend bad things for this purpose to me, like Boys Don't Cry, so I'm interested to see what other guys suggest.

[Gene]

I haven't seen Boys Don't Cry, and I really haven't had much interest. Is it a bad movie?

[Arch]

BDC is not a film you want to show to your parents to educate them; it's more likely to freak them out. The movie is based on the life and death of a possible trans man (hard to know exactly how s/he identified, since s/he is dead).

[Jack_M]

I related a ton to the movie, 'Tomboy'. I felt it pretty much summed up my life at least but it's in French and subtitled (available on Netflix last I checked too). Oh and no one dies! Lol

It's a good movie IMO, a little lighter than most trans movies at least. Deals with a young kid though, not an adult.

And we know that Brandon Teena was a transman. There's a documentary on the whole thing with friends who call him "him", girlfriends talking of their relationship with him, his mum referring to him identifying as male (although unfortunately she keeps referring to him as "her" or her daughter) as well as police audio from his report of violence and being raped where the police question him presenting as male.  The scene in the movie where he's forced into explaining a "sexual identity crises" when reporting the rape and assult was, I believe, if not entirely, at least for the most part, scripted off the actual audio from the report itself.

[Arch]

And we know that Brandon Teena was a transman.

Perhaps I should have been clearer and used the word "transsexual" rather than the truncation. I'm pretty sure that Brandon was transgender in some way, but even the documentary cannot bring him back from the dead and ask him to state unequivocally that he was a transsexual.

[MaximmusFlavius]

A film I came across a while back that I quite like is a german film (with English subtitles) called Romeos. I did however recommend it to a friend to watch, but the feedback was not positive from them. I thought it would explain things to them, but they got a completely different reaction to it, but I think it's definitely worth a watch. Whether it's one you would want to show your parents, I don't know. It depends what you are looking for.

[spacerace]

I'm wondering if Gendernauts is very radical/political--inappropriate for conservative parents? It probably does MTFs. I don't know much about it.

Not for parents - it is not that it is radical or political, but more as if you are sitting down with a gender identity professor that is 'in tune' with themselves and nature; the film has that tone to it. The people in the film all had of lot of fun finding themselves in many ways, if you get what I mean. It is also about the SF art scene during the late 80s early 90s in a way.

It is enjoyable though - but not for your purposes, I'd say.

It does have an interview with Max Valerio, the author of Testosterone Files, a book highly recommend.

[Arch]

Sounds like Gendernauts is off the table...anyway, I don't care very much for Valerio's book, so I'm happy to avoid the author.
I'll look up Romeos, but is it a documentary?

ETA: Judging by the video box, I think Romeos isn't going to work for my eighty-year-old parents. Naked guy holding his shoes in front of his junk...I think my folks would run a mile. But I might hunt it up for myself.

[spacerace]

I'll look up Romeos, but is it a documentary?

I haven't watched it, but I have it sitting around to get to it eventually - AFAIK, it is a fictional love story that features a real trans man and his relationship with another guy who is not trans.

Not for parents probably?

[MaximmusFlavius]

Romeos is a fictional film based around a young trans guy (although the actor is not trans) and another cis gay guy. I may or may not show this film to my parents, I haven't decided yet. The aspects of the film that I like is that it shows some of the struggles we face to be accepted as our true gender and some of the things that we experience on a daily basis that most people wouldn't consider. It also explains a bit about the need for hormone treatment and surgery and how it makes us generally happier (at least in my opinion). However, my friend didn't seem to see these aspects, so maybe they are not as obvious to people who aren't already thinking about it. It's definitely worth a watch, but whether it's suitable for parents, I don't know. Just thought I'd mention it anyway.

[spacerace]

Given how old they are, your best bet may be the National Geographic one, American Transgender.

I looked at the deal on Amazon about ordering it. I think just means they print out a DVD for you when you place an order; instead of having one on hand to send it to you.

I watched it on youtube earlier this year when I was going through them, if you want to check it out, here is a snippet:

[Arch]

After looking up Romeo, I found a few more IMDB suggestions that I might enjoy, so that's something. Unfortunately, most of these movies are not widely available.

I ran across the NG title in my travels but don't know anything about it. I'll take a look.

[Danielle Emmalee]

I saw something the other day.  It was an episode of a TV show not a movie though.  If you're interested, I can dig a little and find out what it was.  It was a documentary type TV show, not a sitcom in case you were wondering.

[DriftingCrow]

While not a movie, The Gender Book and the booklet is super cute, full of pictures, and a really good read!

http://www.thegenderbook.com/

[Arch]

I just saw a trailer for TRANS The Movie, and this film looks VERY promising. The site is down at the moment, so I'll keep checking back.

I still haven't done much research on the NG show, but I am behind in my work and need to attend to grading and dissertation. Dissertation is kind of fun at times, but I do NOT like grading. Ugh.

[aleon515]

Trans the movie is only for sale I think, not on download or Netflix, I think. There is only one trans guy featured but several who talk including Jamison Green. The Transgender Day of Remembrance is in there. Not the only thing of course. it is very good. Tomboy is lighter the ending is sad, but no one dies. It also, I don't know the ending is kind of ambiguous looks like maybe he becomes not trans. Keep in mind it is fiction.

Why are you reluctant to watch Call me Malcolm? I don't get it. It has a little religion in that he is an ordained pastor, but there is a a LOT more to it than that. And he is very likable so that I think parents would think, oh he's so normal. His normal life is a huge plus. He plans to get married at the end. Also his parents have difficulty accepting him, and I think this is a great thing for parents to see, because I can see parents starting to see his side. He is so normal. The only negatives are if the family were fundamentalists. The church he is ordained in is the United Church of Christ. I think that some fundamentalists will see this church as pseudo Christian. BTW, I think Anna (she doesn't read this sub-forum) is a UCC pastor and knows him.

I agree re: Nat. Geo specials like American Trans.


--Jay

[Arch]

I wouldn't let my parents watch Tomboy for various reasons--subtitles (some people don't like foreign films), child nudity, the fact that the kid IS a child (some will say s/he can't know at that age), and my biggest objection, the ambiguity of the ending. In addition, I felt that the mother was outright cruel, and (because my own mother was abusive) I would not want to imply through the movie that I saw any parallels. At any rate, I really do want documentaries that actually explain things.

I have my own reasons for not wanting to see Call Me Malcolm, and I will not discuss them publicly. For one thing, I really have no desire to watch more trans documentaries for myself--I've seen enough. But I'm pretty darned sure that my mother would never put up with a movie about ANYONE in the United Church of Christ, especially a pastor. My brother says that my mother hasn't changed since I lived at home, and she was intolerant of many religions back then, especially those that didn't fit into her idea of the mainstream. I have every reason to believe that she would not be able to focus on the trans content of the movie.

[aleon515]

I wouldn't let my parents watch Tomboy for various reasons--subtitles (some people don't like foreign films), child nudity, the fact that the kid IS a child (some will say s/he can't know at that age), and my biggest objection, the ambiguity of the ending. In addition, I felt that the mother was outright cruel, and (because my own mother was abusive) I would not want to imply through the movie that I saw any parallels. At any rate, I really do want documentaries that actually explain things.

I have my own reasons for not wanting to see Call Me Malcolm, and I will not discuss them publicly. For one thing, I really have no desire to watch more trans documentaries for myself--I've seen enough. But I'm pretty darned sure that my mother would never put up with a movie about ANYONE in the United Church of Christ, especially a pastor. My brother says that my mother hasn't changed since I lived at home, and she was intolerant of many religions back then, especially those that didn't fit into her idea of the mainstream. I every reason to believe that she would not be able to focus on the trans content of the movie.

Tomboy has child nudity. I kind of forgot about it, as it didn't phase me, but the French have different sensibilities than some US audiences. The ambiguous ending is problematic, in lots of ways. I think people could read that the kid is happy with having the severe (IMO) reaction or happy that he is now straightened out and can live his life as a girl like it was intended. EW. You could read it differently but of course people will read a lot what they want to see.

Trans the Movie is a documentary, though a really good one and very deftly made. There are scenes of Transgender Day of Awareness. They could be triggering. This film has made a huge difference for some families.

I was just curious re: Call Me Malcolm, don't mean to pry Arch. However, I always warn people re: the  United Church of Christ element. It is pretty big negative for some families. It would be why I wouldn't recommend it to my sister. I personally found it compelling. But it would be huge for some families and more of a negative than his trans would be in some cases. They go into things enough you knwo what he believes and it is out of the born again concept of Christianity.


--Jay

[Natkat]

Romeos is pretty cute, but I don't know how good it for education, to me it seams more as a gay drama love movie but it may be okay.
-
For documentary I prefern sex, lies and gender by neography channel. it in general about the whole gender team not only transexuals but also cultural and about intersex condition and all that.

besides that I seen man without penis or nobody passes perfect which been okay. Man without penis is norwegian and might be difficult to find + not everything may aply since it norway(like scenes where they talk about norwegian laws and so), but it pretty easy going following a person talking gender homones, famely and so and the famely is also accepting.

nobody passes perfect is more queer and its pretty deep and artistic, I think its good but it may or may not aply to you since it very queer and in the comunety labeled, mainly the scenes they discuss topic about ex how you can be trans and with someone identifying as a lesbian and stuff like that.





http://www.nrk.no/video/mann_uten_penis_p3_dokumentar/5E40C7F4D3638726/

I think no matter what you pick watch it before your to show your parrent. what may be a good movie for someone may not be for you, or may not give what you need. Romeos for exemple is pretty cute I think and if your a gay guy hanging out with your ftm guy it could be good, but on the other hand if your straight and want something more pure fact and less love drama then it not the best.

alot of people also recomend tomboy but I havent seen it so I dont know if its good or not.

I haven't seen Boys Don't Cry, and I really haven't had much interest. Is it a bad movie?

Some love it some hate it, personally I didn't like it either, the movie itself is okay but its based on a real story and the whole rape/killing thing was pretty horrible. I don't think it this kind of movie you want to show or watch if your to gain acceptence or knowlegde.