First Therapy Session - Decisions... Decisions

[Sarah]

Hi Everyone

I have my first session coming up soon and i'm getting sooo nervous I'm really concerned on how I look and what to wear.
I have a tendency to get a bit defensive and hold back a lot about how I feel when I tell new people. So i'm thinking of doing something
to help me relax a bit. But I dont know what? need your help guys.

I can't pass at all at the moment but I was thinking of getting my hair done more androgynous, any thoughts? Also I have some
clothes which are a bit more feminine but dont know what to wear which make me look more serious about this whilst also
putting me at ease. Also I live on campus at the mo and I have only come out to one or two so I dont really want to let the cat out of the
bag yet.
Please I need your help cause I soo anxious I cant sleep.

Hugs
Andria

[Misty_Reiko]

Try not to worry about little things so much. Seeing a therapist isn't a "pass/fail" test. I was nervous telling a stranger what had previously been my deepest, darkest secret too, but hair and clothes don't matter on a first visit.

I went in guy jeans and a t-shirt. I was married and hadn't even come out to my wife, so didn't even own any female clothes and, due to her issues with my transition, I was getting gendered correctly before I started buying any, since she insisted I wait until she moved out.

The thing to worry about more than what you wear, is your tendency to hold back. That's a disservice to yourself and your therapist. You have to screw up your courage and be open with her (or him). Good luck.

[Cindy]

Any good therapist won't worry what you wear, they know where you are coming from and the fear you have, the first session is a time to get introduced and set some gentle boundaries on how you would like to be treated and outline the plans for the sessions.

This might be a little bit out there, but very many of us really like our therapists, they become someone we trust and are beyond a friend.

[Eva Marie]

When I first visited my therapist she asked me what name I would like for her to use and told me I was free to come in boy or girl mode. Aside from her telling me that she thinks some of my clothes are cute what I wear to my sessions hasn't ever been a topic of discussion. I wouldn't worry too much about what you wear to these appointments.

I admit it was weird when I began opening up to her but in reality I know shes heard much worse from other people before me; the problem was me having trouble being open and honest at the beginning. But I got over that pretty quickly. You can only make good progress if the therapist has all of the facts to work with. Since you said this is an issue for you I think that this is an area that you can work on.

Cindy is right - i've grown quite close to my therapist now and I look forward to my appointments with her.

[Sarah]

Thx for the advice I suppose I just fussing.

BTW just found out that my therapist will be a guy so I will defs need to lossen up,
I have always found it harder admitting to guys. But from what you have said I feel
a little better hopefully he can understand my nerves. Anyway I'll just focus on getting a
good sleep the night before and hoping all goes well.

Thx and Hugs

[K.Lina]

I had same problem like you Andria. I was scared of my first appointment and worried about "little" things. I visited my therapist first time just few days ago and I can tell you that it doesn't matter how you look. My therapist is woman but everything depends on personal experience.  I was worried about how to talk with her or what should I wear. It didn't matter in the end. I visited her still presenting myself as a male but somehow she knew why I was there even before I opened my mouth. First appointment, at least in my country it is just informative so you and your therapist can ask you some basic questions and your anamnesis. In my opinion is really important to just be yourself and be honest. Remember that they are there to help you. Well most of them are. I actually look forward to visiting her again. I hope this can help you to get over that hard feelings. After your first session you feel like you are finally making some progress. Good luck Andria

[KatelynRain]

The previous posters are all correct.  I fussed about the same things as you did when I first went.  I wasn't sure whether I should present as male or female, so I just wound up going as a male but wearing high heeled boots.  lol...

Down the road I realized that she wouldn't care if I came in wearing the most mismatched outfit ever.  Everyone is on their own unique path and progress in their journey, so there is no right and wrong.  It is just all about your style, and what you feel most comfortable in.  So that's the answer.   Wear what is most comfortable to you, always, and the rest will fall in place by itself.