coming out to family

[tanu priya]

hi, i am from India. i don't know why and how thoughts of cross dressing came into my mind. it was during the time of puberty when i first felt strong urge to dress into the clothes of opposite gender(females). i repressed these thoughts of cross dressing since a decade. Although i had done cross dressing hardly 5 times within last 10 years but thoughts of cross dressing never stopped coming into my mind........with the passage of time i have started considering myself as woman(in spite of being anatomically male). nowadays i am feeling strong urge to undergo SRS/GRS in order to bring equilibrium between my psychological self and physiological self. I had lost my father in an accident 5 years ago and my mother is a heart patient(she had under gone a very critical surgery recently). I also have a younger brother who is 8 years old  . I am unemployed because the inner conflict within me(whether i am man or a woman) had spoiled my life's fruitful 10 years. I want to tell my mom about this issue and take permission in order to under go SRS but....i do not want to shock her. Sometimes i feel that if i would express my feelings to mom then it would be an act of selfishness.......i love my mom very much . my mother is most precious thing in my life and i do not want to hurt her....i tried to become as manly as possible .....i started keeping long beard, doing weight lifting(body building), etc but every time i came to a conclusion that i am not a complete man and i can never be a complete man......i had even started contacting surgeons in Thailand for SRS but whenever i think about my mom, my eyes become full of tears. My mom had started seeing(searching) a girl for my marriage........please help me.....what should i do.....under go transition and SRS to become a woman or live life as i am today(physiologically male and psychologically female)

[Alisha]

i really am sorry to hear that priya.. i know that must be really hard. But how could you do something big without being yourself? sure your mom must be very disappointed at first, but that just for a while.. but then you could show her that you can do much much better you can give much much more to her and the society that now you can be yourself.

[tanu priya]

thanks for replying alisha, my economic condition is also very bad and biggest problem is that my mom is a heart patient .....

[Alisha]

well, that is difficult. You should discuss it with your close friend or your cousin or another family member. But trust me, the longer you hide it would only get worse..

[tanu priya]

should i consult a psychiatrist?

[Christine167]

should i consult a psychiatrist?

Yes but be sure that it is one with gender indentity experience. I had to start seeing one because there was no one else to talk to or help guide me. It was the right choice as she has been an excellent guide.

[tanu priya]

what should i do to convince my mother?