hi, i am from India. i don't know why and how thoughts of cross dressing came into my mind. it was during the time of puberty when i first felt strong urge to dress into the clothes of opposite gender(females). i repressed these thoughts of cross dressing since a decade. Although i had done cross dressing hardly 5 times within last 10 years but thoughts of cross dressing never stopped coming into my mind........with the passage of time i have started considering myself as woman(in spite of being anatomically male). nowadays i am feeling strong urge to undergo SRS/GRS in order to bring equilibrium between my psychological self and physiological self. I had lost my father in an accident 5 years ago and my mother is a heart patient(she had under gone a very critical surgery recently). I also have a younger brother who is 8 years old  . I am unemployed because the inner conflict within me(whether i am man or a woman) had spoiled my life's fruitful 10 years. I want to tell my mom about this issue and take permission in order to under go SRS but....i do not want to shock her. Sometimes i feel that if i would express my feelings to mom then it would be an act of selfishness.......i love my mom very much . my mother is most precious thing in my life and i do not want to hurt her....i tried to become as manly as possible .....i started keeping long beard, doing weight lifting(body building), etc but every time i came to a conclusion that i am not a complete man and i can never be a complete man......i had even started contacting surgeons in Thailand for SRS but whenever i think about my mom, my eyes become full of tears. My mom had started seeing(searching) a girl for my marriage........please help me.....what should i do.....under go transition and SRS to become a woman or live life as i am today(physiologically male and psychologically female)

i really am sorry to hear that priya.. i know that must be really hard. But how could you do something big without being yourself? sure your mom must be very disappointed at first, but that just for a while.. but then you could show her that you can do much much better you can give much much more to her and the society that now you can be yourself.

thanks for replying alisha, my economic condition is also very bad and biggest problem is that my mom is a heart patient .....

well, that is difficult. You should discuss it with your close friend or your cousin or another family member. But trust me, the longer you hide it would only get worse..

should i consult a psychiatrist?

Quote from: tanu priya on October 04, 2013, 02:12:28 AM
should i consult a psychiatrist?

Yes but be sure that it is one with gender indentity experience. I had to start seeing one because there was no one else to talk to or help guide me. It was the right choice as she has been an excellent guide.

what should i do to convince my mother?