I just had my first couples therapy session. The therapist was not mine. She specializes in family issues, children, and couples. My wife and I have all of those problems... except for "couples," I suppose.
My plan was to go into it and not to control the conversation. I should have known better. The first thing that happened was the therapist asked us how we wanted to proceed.... crickets.... She brought up communication, and she and I talked for about an hour, hour and a half. My wife didn't say more than a word until the last half hour (are two hour sessions normal? I wasn't wearing a watch and we got home LATE).
My two topics were communication, which may improve from this (though with difficulty), and derision... which I don't see improving, but at least I put it out there. Both topics directly relate to me and my wife, but they are the two most important topics for how we deal with our kids. Communication is easy to understand - if we can't communicate, we can't know how to help our kids (8,4,2) through this. The contemptuous talk regarding my change is something the kids cannot hear - which is difficult because it's mainly tone of voice and micro-aggressions, both of which are difficult to control. My argument is that if the kids hear that and grow up with that, they'll see me as a freak and as inhuman. That will make them freaks in their own minds and they will be vulnerable to anyone else who thinks that way. The therapist seemed to agree with me.
I only lied once, too. I was asked outright if I had a new name... the question was kind of relating to family life... so I hesitated and said no.
In all, I thought it went well... even if it was one sided. I don't have any real questions... but I'm more than willing to hear any advice!
♥ Tarah
