Dilate Forever?

[Beyond]

I think the 'in and out' are important too. You don't get those from dilation.

Yes, you can.  Why waste money on a machine when you can accomplish the same thing with your hand?  I go in and out several times during my dilation sessions.  I also flex the muscles down there to draw the dilator in several times a session as well.  No machines needed.

[anjaq]

  I also flex the muscles down there to draw the dilator in several times a session as well.

Wow - you can do that? Darn. Whenever I try to flex muscles, the opposite happens. I guess I still have a way to go to get back to something normal. Next week I will have an examination by a local GRS surgeon and will have some questions - I want to do some minor corrections that were just not possible 15 years ago plus I want him to check if my insides are doing ok. I hope I dont need corrections there as well.

[Catherine Sarah]

Hello Jane,

I also flex the muscles down there to draw the dilator in several times a session as well.

If you'll pardon me for asking, how do you draw it in?

I can expel it OK, and that's with the Orange ,"divide and conquer" but I can't fathom the muscular action required to draw in.

Huggs
Catherine

[Jenna Marie]

Catherine, Anjaq : Squeeze the muscle you use to stop peeing (this exercise is also known as "Kegels"). It's the same muscle you'd use to push something out, but then you're bearing down/pushing; try squeezing or clamping it down as hard as you can. The effect might not be that dramatic - I found that the bigger the dilator, the less I could shift it, and with the giant orange one I basically only hold it in place rather than drawing in.

We actually do have the same muscles down there that cis women do - it's the PC muscle, and I was delighted when I realized I could DO that trick of squeezing something that was in there.

[mandonlym]

Even more fun to do it with a penis (both for you and the guy). Just sayin'.

[anjaq]

Hmm - as of now if I try that muscle it still is rather expelling the dilator than drawing it in. I can stop peeing no problem, but this trick I cannot do - maybe its because I had a PI  and not the newer techniques or maybe I need more dilating. I also noticed I cannot use vaginal tablets - they also will just be expelled.

[Jenna Marie]

Anjaq : Possibly. I had penile inversion as well and have no trouble, but I seem to recall your surgery was unusual somehow or something?

mandonlym : If you're with a guy, I'm sure it is.

[Catherine Sarah]

Thanks Jenna,

I'll try that with the smaller dilator. I get the picture.

Huggs
Catherine

[anjaq]

Hmm - I got a dildo now tha tis soft and is wider at the tip than at the base and with that one it works great. I think its good to practice. Plus I can just leave that one in for an hour or so following dilation while sleeping, thats pretty neat.

[snapfie]

I have always understood that my body would treat the neo-vagina as a wound, and so I would have to dilate to keep it open.  I followed the surgeon's instructions to the letter through the first year.  There were no instructions beyond the first anniversary.  Because I was older – late 60s – I figured that my body would heal more slowly, so I kept going.  I read comments on this forum that mentioned dilating only now and then, a couple times a month, etc.  Whenever I dropped back more than 4 or 5 days I would have problems, so I kept going.

Around my third anniversary, things got easier.  Once started, the dilator would slide in easily, and I wouldn't have to work too much to get the last half inch.  I figured I was soon going to be able to slack off and dilate only twice a week or less, but I wasn't there yet.

Part of my problems are self-inflicted.  (Can we all say that, or is it just many of us?)  Because no SRS surgeon was nearby, and the gynecologists in the area didn't have experience with trans-women, I let it go.  Finally I traveled to see Dr Bowers for a consult.  She assured me that she could fix me up, but I'd have to stay in San Mateo for several weeks or a month.  I wasn't willing to do that.

I went to Dr Nguyen, who is a little closer, but I got a bad feeling about him and was reluctant to go back. 

I think one reason I was getting a bad attitude about having to dilate is that my life as a woman is wonderful.  I am relaxing into it and wanting to put the fact that I am trans behind me.  (Yeah, right.)  But I still have issues with my vagina.  Dilating has always irritated some of the skin at the opening, regardless of how much lubricant I put on.  When my partner touches it, it is either uncomfortable or painful – never pleasurable.  I have always gotten some blood out after dilating.  (The blood stops after a little while.)  Now it is just light spotting, but it just seems that after 3½ years the skin in there should be healed.  With the continued rawness and bleeding, any touching of the area during sex play does not bring pleasure.

Finally today I went to my regular gynecologist.  I had only seen her once before and had the impression then that she had never seen a trans-woman before.  She was wonderful for me today.  I am so glad I finally saw her and got over this feeling that I needed to see an SRS gynecologist.

This woman explained to me that many post-menopausal cis-women have to dilate twice a week if they aren't having an active sex life but want to keep the capability.  That made me feel a lot better.  She also is confident that she can heal the small tears in the vagina and that we can loosen the skin near the opening so that it isn't irritated by the dilator.  (She can do some surgery if need-be but wants to try some other things first.)  I think this woman can help me get to the point where I don't resent dilating.

Thank you so much for this discussion.  Keep the thread going.  I'm finding it very helpful.  This is an aspect of the process that often, in our rush to be whole, we don't talk about.

- Kate

I'm 3 years SRS post op, I now only dilate once a month, I've lost half an inch depth of my vagina, I have always hated dilating, there's blood after dilation, I don't go to see a gyne cos I have no confidence in her being able to help an SRS girl...

[anjaq]

snapfie, why dont you go see a SRS surgeon for a checkup? Sounds like things are not great if you had to cut down dilation to once a montah which is way not enough and it is why you lost depth. I have regained that inch with rigorous dilation, so it is possible but you should get checked why there is blood if that is a significant amont. A gyn may not help as much as a trained surgeon but s/he can also provide some help - by prescribing Estriol cream, by giving advice for dilation - yes dilation is something women without a GRS also have to do when they had gential surgery for different reasons or if they have vaginitis. So definitely go see a gyn if you cannot see a srs surgeon. And dont give up now!

[Vicky]

I'm 3 years SRS post op, I now only dilate once a month, I've lost half an inch depth of my vagina, I have always hated dilating, there's blood after dilation, I don't go to see a gyne cos I have no confidence in her being able to help an SRS girl...

My gynecologist has had special training in dealing with Trans* girls and we have a wonderful and trustful relationship.  Go to the local LGBT community center and ASK if there are gynecologists who they know have been trained in dealing with us on their list.  Not to be dramatic, but it could save your life. 

[~Evelyn~]

THAT is an encouraging post! I won't forget it. <insert big smile>

*grins* The feels! You people complete me.