Dating men, MTF pre op

[FrancisAnn]

I may find a man the old fashion way. I dressed nice & went shopping at the local Goodwill store. Nice women & not too busy, they are very nice to me. I told them I'm trying to maybe finally change/complete my body with a vagina however it will be a year or more & I'm lonely for a man now. They said maybe, we know men that would like you like you, you look nice. She said I'll talk with him to get his number & when you are in next time to shop I'll give it to you. Might be worth it to maybe date/kiss a frog, you never know.

That was a nice afternoon anyway.

Just a suggestion to others.

[FrancisAnn]

I may find a man the old fashion way. I dressed nice & went shopping at the local Goodwill store. Nice women & not too busy, they are very nice to me. I told them I'm trying to maybe finally change/complete my body with a vagina however it will be a year or more & I'm lonely for a man now. They said maybe, we know men that would like you like you are, you look nice, we understand it takes time. She said I'll talk with him to get his number & when you are in next time to shop I'll give it to you. Might be worth it to maybe date/kiss a frog, you never know.

That was a nice afternoon anyway.

Just a suggestion to others.

[vlmitchell]

I just find guys in the real world in social situations. Way better IMO than trying to find a match online.

[Constance]

I just find guys in the real world in social situations. Way better IMO than trying to find a match online.

Yeah, the real world situations seem like they'd be more organic. Not having much success there yet either. But maybe I'm just in the wrong places.

[FrancisAnn]

I have a date arranged for next week, my first time dating as a girl. Me and him have chatted via email for a while and spoken on the phone, he knows my situation and is very understanding. Just a coffee and a chat and despite any temptation on my part that's all it will be for now (quick bj on my knees in the bathroom does sound appealing hehe)

I met him on a uk dating website, after I wife pushed me to experience dating, she says it's a wonderful stage in any girls life and I shouldn't miss out. We'll see how wonderful it is lol

Saz xxx  Sassy your woman friend is right if you enjoy men. If I can, let him know to treat you like a lady & be nice to you. Sometimes on a first date if my man was coming to my apartment I would ask the man to bring flowers or a bottle of wine just to see if they really cared or just in a hurry. You would be suprised what nice things men brought to a first date. I'm usure about you however if the man was handsome & nice looking I melted to me knees so easy, it was great for me. No bathroom girl, make him be nice to you or as they say kick him to the curb.

Good luck & have fun, just be yourself & if he does not turn you on just gracefully like a woman slip away, you have to wash your hair, etc.....

Francis

[Janae]

For me I'm "Talking to someone" (That period right before things become official). I've been single for the past 5 yrs. I've been on HRT for 12 mos and at the beginning I thought no man would want me so early on in my journey. I'm not presenting 24/7 yet so this only made me feel I had to stay single. But around Jan of this yr I thought well why not try to date even if it's online?? I was with 2 trans attracted guys 6yrs prior and I was pretty much in the same boat as now minus the HRT. Anyway I met two amazing guys on a dating site and was excited, But once I revealed I was trans they cut all contact. This hurt like hell and I felt discouraged. But just when I was about to give up a really sweet guy found me. We've been talking since August and things are going smoothly. He complements me and tells me I'm beautiful even when I don't feel that way, he told me he'd support me anyway he could through my journey, something I never expected to hear from a man. He even told me when we first started chatting that we'd be together. I laughed at the thought but he was very serious, and now for some reason I believe him. So to any girl who feels like it isn't possible I say think again.You'll be pleasantly surprised what wonderful things will happen when you try.

[FrancisAnn]

For me I'm "Talking to someone" (That period right before things become official). I've been single for the past 5 yrs. I've been on HRT for 12 mos and at the beginning I thought no man would want me so early on in my journey. I'm not presenting 24/7 yet so this only made me feel I had to stay single. But around Jan of this yr I thought well why not try to date even if it's online?? I was with 2 trans attracted guys 6yrs prior and I was pretty much in the same boat as now minus the HRT. Anyway I met two amazing guys on a dating site and was excited, But once I revealed I was trans they cut all contact. This hurt like hell and I felt discouraged. But just when I was about to give up a really sweet guy found me. We've been talking since August and things are going smoothly. He complements me and tells me I'm beautiful even when I don't feel that way, he told me he'd support me anyway he could through my journey, something I never expected to hear from a man. He even told me when we first started chatting that we'd be together. I laughed at the thought but he was very serious, and now for some reason I believe him. So to any girl who feels like it isn't possible I say think again.You'll be pleasantly surprised what wonderful things will happen when you try.

What a nice story, thank you, love your colors.  We all have to open up & try.

[Janae]

You are very welcome FrancisAnn!!

And yes nothing beats a bad fail but a good try.

[Just Shelly]

ok, I have been communicating with a man for about 2 weeks. I met him on a dating site, I am not listed as trans and do have a couple of pics up. He wants to know more, but respects my privacy. He also wants to meet. I am ok with meeting but I hate having to stay so private. I have done it in the past...but its just not me. I will not tell him the truth about my past until we have met and talked more. I want him to meet me and get to know me!!

I am stealth and if I told him my full name he could easily find out more about me. I want to be honest with him and hate being like this. I would of liked to included my trans status on my profile on the site....but because I am stealth I wouldn't of been able to include any pics ...and then all I would get is ->-bleeped-<-s. I just want to share some enjoyable time with someone!!

I would rather just stop communicating all together rather than tell him the truth, I just let things go to far and have found that we are very similar in thought and activities. I hate life!!!

[ChicanaLuv]

I have actually ran into a few gud guys...notice i said few, most of them were pervs, freaks, or ->-bleeped-<-s. I see it this way men are always going to be men regardless... They will always think with the wrong head n yes sometimes it gets annoying but there is actually some decent guys out there, they are just hard to come across n I am speaking from my own experience

[findingout]

Just be careful. Some men really don't understand. For me I'd be happy to date a pretty open and after op . My own situation is I've never really felt male. My sister's would wear dresses and I wished it was me. However I kept all that hidden. Apart from a couple of gay experiences I've always preferred women. But, I also prefer women over men to talk to and be freinds with. I'm now 57 and married but feel I've wasted my life. I should have spoken about my feelings. I think it was because I was a teen in the 1970s. It wasn't a very accepting time. So I kept my feelings hidden. But now I want to talk about how I feel. If a pre op MTF came my way I'd happily date her. I've no problems with the sexual organs. But I would say just be very careful. Some men are just bad and would pretend to like you but really, they're full of hate. Some may go out with you but even if you'd explained the situation when it came to the bit they'd freak out. I told some "mates" (no more) that I'd had gay experiences and it quite quickly turned nasty. It started with them joking but then it went on and on. They wouldn't let it go. Eventually I told them to leave it and that's when it got really nasty. I told them because I thought they would be ok about it. They always said that they were fine about gay people and gay marriage. My story showed the latent feelings of fear? Hatred? Just not understanding. I don't know but it was unpleasant. All I can say is how I feel and that is if a pre op MTF asked me in a date I'd say yes and I would enjoy anything that came out of it. The genitalia is already something I've experienced. The other thing is. I don't know what I am. I want to wear women's clothes. I am always more comfortable in women's company and have always felt uncomfortable among men. Maybe because I was bullied badly at school. So at the moment I'm trying to work out what I am. I like MTF, post and pre but also I like women.

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[Koroside]

I don't want "the op", but I can't see it really being a major roadblock. More straight guys than one might think are okay with it, and I'm not dysphoric about down there, so why should I bother?

[Angélique LaCava]

I've met really good straight guys at work who never thought about a trans, some I told right after they asked me out and some I talked to for a few days and told them before the date, but most of the guys that ask me out decide to give me a chance because they found me beautiful. Most continued seeing and the ones that didn't, continued having sex with me; the guys that kept seeing me I would date for a few months and then break up with them. I don't think I'm ready for a relationship. I like male attention too much.

I've Been out with straight guys pre hrt as well, but those were just sexual relationships.

[Michelle69Elizabeth]

It's all what you are comfortable with I suppose. I don't have any illusion anymore that women do it for me, so I have only dated men in the last seven years. One before transition that didn't work at all.

I have dated men and had sex with some of them since I started to transition. It's the same as with any two people dating from everything I have seen. Been dating the same guy for 8 months now, just moved in with him actually. I have always been upfront about the ah... dangly bit being off limits. It was off limits to my ex-wife the last few years we were married too. It would be easier if I didn't have a problem there but I do.

I said, when I started, that I would wait until after the surgery. As my unrealistic time line for surgery started to stretch and become more realistic, I just didn't want to wait any longer. Took a bit to find the right guy but the journey was not a bumpy one. I would say that the two biggest problems that I have had that seem to differ from my girl friends are.

1 - The filtering process is more extensive.
They don't have to deal with ->-bleeped-<-s. They they don't have to worry about the guy having fears of social ridicule if your transsexual status becomes known.

2 - The, seemingly unending, series of, "No, you may not touch that."
Not that women don't have to worry about no means no. That we have in common. Just that, once the yes has been established , still doesn't mean that anyone gets to touch me there. I have to get up the nerve every single time before hair removal and not because of the pain. I want the surgery more than I want air, and the hair removal  is prep for that but, it... well, I can't explain how horrible it is for me to be touched there. Anyway, some of the guys I have been with, most of them really, keep wanting to go there. I say "most" because some of the men who have had no real interest in that part still wanted to take care of me. I can take care of myself thank you. It's not difficult in the least and doesn't interfere with the process any more than any girl doing the same thing.

Hope that isn't TMI. Just that it is possible to go all the way if wanted.

Maybe that is the real story of being transsexuals. Maybe we are the same as everyone else, all things are possible, just what we have to do to get there. It seems that everything is one more step away for me than most of the people that I know. Okay sometimes it's a few steps. An additional concern. A little more in depth examination of a situation or myself. A little more exposed.

Dating is probably the same. Just that little bit more required.

[Jin]

Go get him Sweetie!
Life is too long to live in a cave.
I have dated women and men and used to double-date with my older Sis in our college years. Now my wife sometimes sets us up with doubles, sometimes both men, sometimes both women, sometimes mixed.
I love the thrill of the first look, the first touch, the slight hesitancy on a guy's face when he discovers your extra parts.

[RobynD]

Perhaps because i dated men before transition or it is just the person i am, i have a fairly relaxed attitude toward dating men now and the inevitable intimacy that occurs. An emotional connection preceding the physical is important for me, that is the bigger factor. Now this may not seem "casual" by definition but for me it fits. I don't have dysphoria about anyone touching me down "there" but of course it is of limited usefulness in intimacy anyways.

The guy i am seeing now, we have seemed to have settled into a pattern for those activities which works for us both. I think we all adapt and do the best we can in expressions of love and affection.