slowly transitioning into ft girl clothes...

[Sophia Hawke]

Has anyone else done this?  Got any advice?  So far I've started with panties and socks and most recently added a training corset.   The corset is a bit bulky at the top and somewhat noticeable, it also radically changed my posture since I used to always slump over.  Tonight was the first night wearing it out.   I def saw some reactions from people who didn't know which bothered me a little bit but not a big deal.  Anyways, so far everything I have changed has has felt incredibly comfortable and natural for me to wear, even the corset which while somewhat uncomfortable to wear makes me feel so good about my shape while wearing it.

I'm going to add some boots next since I love boots and a pair of girl sneakers since I can wear both with my current wardrobe which is mostly unisex.  What do add next?  Maybe some minor makeup? Eyeliner and such?  Should I swap into girl shirts/pants/skirts at the same time?

A lot of folks know about me being trans in the community now but even with a lot of people who know I'd rather ease people into things, as well as myself.  (Small town, super small). I know my closer friends wouldn't be bothered if I went ft now even.  I really want to finish my transition into ft girl clothes before our off season ends. Could def use help with a plan of action as I desperately want to go to ft girl clothes now even, hrt or not.

[kira21 ♡♡♡]

This is how I did it. I had changed *a lot* when I got confronted by any of my family. My sister asked me I had breasts, and had women's clothing on eventually :-) . My parents were, seeming, still however extremely shocked by it. They said I had never been femine (despite my having long hair and nails throughout my childhood), which was quite funny as they had just failed to spot that their make up wearing, women's clothing wearing, jewellery clad, high heeled, noticeably breast displaying 'son' had gender issues. lol. I didn't really *trust* their trans spotting opinion as such! lol

I Anywhooz, at home I wore whatever I liked but publicly, I started with nail polish, then, eyes, femmed my clothes, and accessories and slowly started emphasising my breasts, then full make up with contouring. I came out to my friends at different stages throughout and let my family ask (as I wanted to get them used to it - like you). Finally I came out at work. I was surprised by the fact there were a good few who hadn't figured it out and thought I was just 'eccentric'.

[MaryXYX]

I wouldn't think that a partial change of costume would work.  If you are going to go full time there will be a day when you do it, and then everyone will know.

The reaction when you were wearing the corset might have been because you were up straight instead of slumped, that is noticeable.  Do you mean just a corset or a basque?  If it has a bust you can't hide it.

When I was fully dressed as female where I live and at church but still male at work I would meet people in town and have to think: Do they know me as a woman, or as a trans-woman?  Might they mention me to someone who only knew me as a man?  Once I was full time it was a lot easier.

If you felt better about your shape with the corset I would say go for it.  Only you really know if it's right.  Advice about makeup will differ, but mine is take care not to overdo it - that looks silly.  I started with a light brown eye shadow and an almost clear lip gloss.  After two years FT I'm ready to move up a notch.

[MaryXYX]

they had just failed to spot that their make up wearing, women's clothing wearing, jewellery clad, high heeled, noticeably breast displaying 'son' had gender issues.

->-bleeped-<- spotter FAIL!

Even after a year on hormones (bought offshore - not recommended) my breast development was hardly noticeable.  I went straight to a 'B' (USA 'A') which is quite obvious and looks a lot better in a dress.

[Sophia Hawke]

This is how I did it. I had changed *a lot* when I got confronted by any of my family. My sister asked me I had breasts, and had women's clothing on eventually :-) . My parents were, seeming, still however extremely shocked by it. They said I had never been femine (despite my having long hair and nails throughout my childhood), which was quite funny as they had just failed to spot that their make up wearing, women's clothing wearing, jewellery clad, high heeled, noticeably breast displaying 'son' had gender issues. lol. I didn't really *trust* their trans spotting opinion as such! lol

I Anywhooz, at home I wore whatever I liked but publicly, I started with nail polish, then, eyes, femmed my clothes, and accessories and slowly started emphasising my breasts, then full make up with contouring. I came out to my friends at different stages throughout and let my family ask (as I wanted to get them used to it - like you). Finally I came out at work. I was surprised by the fact there were a good few who hadn't figured it out and thought I was just 'eccentric'.

Im lucky enough that my family/friends most all know.   I'm fairly certain, few were surprised by my coming out.   I've been slowly feminizing for years before coming out.   I also run my own business(not very big but it pays the bills) and most of my employees are relatives/close friends some of which are actively helping me with my clothing/makeup/beatification.   I am ofcourse slowly building up clothes/makeup/ect everything that i need, and mixing things in as i get it.   I really just want to dive into dressing full femme FT, but at the same time i dont want to shock people since that usually doesnt turn out well as opposed to letting people get used to the idea.   

[Sophia Hawke]

I wouldn't think that a partial change of costume would work.  If you are going to go full time there will be a day when you do it, and then everyone will know.

The reaction when you were wearing the corset might have been because you were up straight instead of slumped, that is noticeable.  Do you mean just a corset or a basque?  If it has a bust you can't hide it.

When I was fully dressed as female where I live and at church but still male at work I would meet people in town and have to think: Do they know me as a woman, or as a trans-woman?  Might they mention me to someone who only knew me as a man?  Once I was full time it was a lot easier.

If you felt better about your shape with the corset I would say go for it.  Only you really know if it's right.  Advice about makeup will differ, but mine is take care not to overdo it - that looks silly.  I started with a light brown eye shadow and an almost clear lip gloss.  After two years FT I'm ready to move up a notch.

Well, in my case, im so well known in town here, that by the time new years rolls around(if not a hell of alot sooner.) i will be out to literally everyone in town.  So for me, passing or not isnt really an issue since everyone already knows me as a man.(but i most certainly do want to be passable).   Id just rather my being trans becoming "OLD HAT" so to speak, which would give me alot more breathing room.  I know for a fact that at work, when i deal with tourists, i will have zero issue what so ever passing, a great benefit to dealing with drunk/wasted people all day haha, although my biggest hurdle will be voice really. For me the transition to FT Femme clothes is one more of being comfortable in public, strange looks or not, esp when im hanging with friends where i can let out the woman inside ive been suppressing all these years.     I really can't stand looking like a man or being perceived as such, and im at the point now where i want to keep pushing forward since a full transition is a long process.

[Heather]

This sound exactly like what I've been doing. I've started off slow with underwear, then I worked my way up to jeans, shirts,and makeup while supposedly calling what I was doing guy mode even though I don't dress like any guy I know. 
But you can do it and get away with it I don't know if I would suggest it though it can be quite awkward at times. I don't know what it will be like to be out in a small town? I live around a major city with a large lgbt population so most people just read me as a gay guy at this point when I'm in andro mode.
But really it all depends on your comfort level but I do think it is good practice to being full time and before you know it not only will you be dressing feminine but you'll be carrying yourself in a feminine manner.
I will warn you it can be a slippery slope though as soon as you start presenting yourself as yourself even in small ways it can make it harder to actually fully dress as a male at least that's been my experience so far.

[Sammy]

Yup! Exactly what I am going at the moment. I have a full stash of female clothing for various occasions - thanks to the courtesy of one of the members of this board , but at work I am incorporating small details here and there. Shifting my colours away from traditionally male ones  and choosing excentric designs . Then, I am wearing feminine belts and skinny jeans as another accent. One of the reasons for this is because in S and M sized male clothes I feel uncomfortable - my breasts cause "strange" creases on my tops and the upfront pulled fabric gets too tight under armpits. i dont want to wear bra yet, because I dont feel like I need it for support and it would certainly push twins out even futher, thus outing me to those I am not ready yet to face .

[suzifrommd]

I was given the advice to "find my style". I looked at what other women my general shape and age were wearing and what I thought would look good on me. I looked at their jewelry, casual dress, professional dress, etc.

After a while I began to get what I'd call a craving to wear certain items because I knew that's what I wanted to look like.

I hope this helps.

[kira21 ♡♡♡]

I typed a big long reply about the advantages of this method from my experience, compared to what others say about their *change in one day* approach, but it disappeared. :-(

[anjaq]

These are the two strategies and if the gradual one works best for you, there is nothing to say against that. I did that myself. My progress was a bit different - I did not put so much effort on underwear, but rather started by getting "excentric" clothes firlst, LOL - I mean I just bought pants and jackets that were from the womens department or at least could have been but were well within the range that men could wear if they are a bit gay or metro - I was occasionally gendered female already. Then I added hormones to that and that gave it a huge boost. I plucked eyebrows and used a bit of eyeliner then, used more feminine T-Shirts (still all within the androgynous realm though). I was then mostly gendered female, especially when I used a padded bra. I did have times at that stage when I did go for a much more feminine outfit, more bra padding and more makeup, but that was not daily appearance. A more abrupt stage was when I used conceiler to hide the facial hair - that was then more or less a clear sign that I dont want to be seen as male. Then my style in clothes also changed at that time towards a bit more clearly female - different colors and cuts of pants and shirts. I did not change much for shoes, I just loved sneakers always, but I used different types that were a bit more what girls my age did at that time. I also got ear piercings at that time. I shopped in stores then for clothing that were targeted for girls at my age, early twens, so I more or less automatically chose what is age appropriate (lol, all the cheap accessories for late teen girls). I think I got to something like 80% passability at that time. Then I went to the therapist and he was talking to me something about going fulltime and I was a bit like "wait, what?" LOL. I must say at some point I overshot then a bit and did choose clothes that were a bit underaged (like maybe more for 18 year olds not 23) and more femme than my body would support, so I scrapped that eventually.
The benefit of this was that I kind of avoided too much pseudopassing. If I wear a skirt and heels and lots of jewelry, I tell people "please call me she" and often they will do so even if the think you are just acting. Plus I found it much more natural and feeling less faked to do this slowly and naturally. It made it tons easier to find my style at that time.

[MaryXYX]

I was given the advice to "find my style". I looked at what other women my general shape and age were wearing and what I thought would look good on me. I looked at their jewelry, casual dress, professional dress, etc.

After a while I began to get what I'd call a craving to wear certain items because I knew that's what I wanted to look like.

I hope this helps.

Right on!  We do all have to find our own style, but women of similar age and setting are a good place to start studying.

I get the impression that most people will see a skirt, or other obviously female clothing, and see a woman.  Unless there is any obvious give-away they are likely to go on seeing a woman.  I had to do a lot of work on my voice as I sing bass but I raised the pitch into the lower end of the female range myself, and took out the chest resonance.  The speech therapist was very pleased when I first met her and set me homework on intonation and expression.  I still have a lot of work to do but I get the impression I generally pass with people who have no reason to look for the clues.

[Sophia Hawke]

These are the two strategies and if the gradual one works best for you, there is nothing to say against that. I did that myself. My progress was a bit different - I did not put so much effort on underwear, but rather started by getting "excentric" clothes firlst, LOL - I mean I just bought pants and jackets that were from the womens department or at least could have been but were well within the range that men could wear if they are a bit gay or metro - I was occasionally gendered female already. Then I added hormones to that and that gave it a huge boost. I plucked eyebrows and used a bit of eyeliner then, used more feminine T-Shirts (still all within the androgynous realm though). I was then mostly gendered female, especially when I used a padded bra. I did have times at that stage when I did go for a much more feminine outfit, more bra padding and more makeup, but that was not daily appearance. A more abrupt stage was when I used conceiler to hide the facial hair - that was then more or less a clear sign that I dont want to be seen as male. Then my style in clothes also changed at that time towards a bit more clearly female - different colors and cuts of pants and shirts. I did not change much for shoes, I just loved sneakers always, but I used different types that were a bit more what girls my age did at that time. I also got ear piercings at that time. I shopped in stores then for clothing that were targeted for girls at my age, early twens, so I more or less automatically chose what is age appropriate (lol, all the cheap accessories for late teen girls). I think I got to something like 80% passability at that time. Then I went to the therapist and he was talking to me something about going fulltime and I was a bit like "wait, what?" LOL. I must say at some point I overshot then a bit and did choose clothes that were a bit underaged (like maybe more for 18 year olds not 23) and more femme than my body would support, so I scrapped that eventually.
The benefit of this was that I kind of avoided too much pseudopassing. If I wear a skirt and heels and lots of jewelry, I tell people "please call me she" and often they will do so even if the think you are just acting. Plus I found it much more natural and feeling less faked to do this slowly and naturally. It made it tons easier to find my style at that time.

My small town is so small, and im so incredibly well known, passing with locals is essentially impossible(although i do care about passing).   On the other hand, when i deal with tourists, im often gendered female(at least 2-3 times a night during the summer.)  I'm really just trying to acclimate others to my situation since i deal with the public(re:in a two week span i easily see literally everyone in town, sometimes even in a weekend). I'd much rather let the word get around while i slowly transition into girl clothes full time, instead of shocking people and possibly creating tense situations that could have otherwise been avoided with a little patience).   I'm also hesitant to buy alot of outfits since with HRT(which i havent yet started) my shape is going to change and buy more clothes later seems like id have wasted money i dont have to waist.   On the plus side, my step sister is going to visit  in december and bring some old clothes she doesnt need, we both have fairly similar height/frames, so im hoping much of the stuff she bring will fit.  The way they deal with HRT and giving it out(while i understand why they do it) does make things alot more expensive esp for those who arent exactly rolling in money.

[Jessica Merriman]

This is how I did it. I had changed *a lot* when I got confronted by any of my family. My sister asked me I had breasts, and had women's clothing on eventually :-) . My parents were, seeming, still however extremely shocked by it. They said I had never been femine (despite my having long hair and nails throughout my childhood), which was quite funny as they had just failed to spot that their make up wearing, women's clothing wearing, jewellery clad, high heeled, noticeably breast displaying 'son' had gender issues. lol. I didn't really *trust* their trans spotting opinion as such! lol

Akira, I should bill my dry cleaning to you because I snorted my morning tea out of my nose! *giggle*  Thanks for making my morning!
As for me, in redneck hell, the gradual approach was the best and safest way for me to go. I think therapist set some of us up to fail by the sink or swim approach instead of a gradual, comfortable approach. My problem with therapist who say "next appointment be dressed" is no one has muscle memory female movements or anything like that, usually, and it is overwhelming. Most of us have the feeling we were always in the wrong body, some of us for twenty or thirty years, but to go from acting one sex for years and then be expected to change overnight is not rational, In my opinion.

[MaryXYX]

I have never seen a gender therapist, but I was seeing a therapist at my own expense for depression and anxiety problems.  I talked to her about the gender issues, then I started going to her office as male and changing in the washroom before talking to her.  I was still living with my wife so I couldn't travel as female.  Is that an option?

[Jessica Merriman]

If it works it is. No one person is the same.

[kira21 ♡♡♡]

Akira, I should bill my dry cleaning to you because I snorted my morning tea out of my nose! *giggle*  Thanks for making my morning!
As for me, in redneck hell, the gradual approach was the best and safest way for me to go. I think therapist set some of us up to fail by the sink or swim approach instead of a gradual, comfortable approach. My problem with therapist who say "next appointment be dressed" is no one has muscle memory female movements or anything like that, usually, and it is overwhelming. Most of us have the feeling we were always in the wrong body, some of us for twenty or thirty years, but to go from acting one sex for years and then be expected to change overnight is not rational, In my opinion.

:-) Hehe. Their reasoning didn't get any better after that. They also offered the idea that it would be OK if it had been my brother but not me, as he wore bow ties when he was younger and I did not. If you can find *any* logic in the bow tie as an indicator of transgender people, I would *love* to hear it.

Yep I think the slower transition gives people time to prepare. I think some people resent it if they have no fore warning, which I think is often/sometimes the case in over night transitions. Slower transitions also makes people feel that you haven't been hiding something from them as it get's very visible. I liked that different people figured it out and asked me at different stages, so I didn't have to deal with everyone at the same time. I did do a sit down with quite a few people though, when I thought I really needed people to start calling me appropriately. The people who asked earlier were naturally closer to me, so it allowed me to get some support before handling the wider group. I found that each time I allowed myself to get a step closer to *me* it made things more bearable at work. It also made me want to go faster! :-) It was great feeling the change between work and home get smaller and smaller and then disappear. :-) I used to loath having to change. Yep, I think overall it was the right thing for me. :-)

[Sophia Hawke]

Yep I think the slower transition gives people time to prepare. I think some people resent it if they have no fore warning, which I think is often/sometimes the case in over night transitions. Slower transitions also makes people feel that you haven't been hiding something from them as it get's very visible. I liked that different people figured it out and asked me at different stages, so I didn't have to deal with everyone at the same time. I did do a sit down with quite a few people though, when I thought I really needed people to start calling me appropriately. The people who asked earlier were naturally closer to me, so it allowed me to get some support before handling the wider group. I found that each time I allowed myself to get a step closer to *me* it made things more bearable at work. It also made me want to go faster! :-) It was great feeling the change between work and home get smaller and smaller and then disappear. :-) I used to loath having to change. Yep, I think overall it was the right thing for me. :-)

My thoughts on transitioning with clothes exactly.

[Charley Bea(EmeraldP)]

I want to add to my sadly lacking female clothing collection but have no idea what sizes I need(good luck getting help measuring) the most I have is a bra, a dress(almost never wear) and a pair of boots that sometimes feel they fit better than other times and a tunic top that is best saved for when I have lost weight.

[Sophia Hawke]

I want to add to my sadly lacking female clothing collection but have no idea what sizes I need(good luck getting help measuring) the most I have is a bra, a dress(almost never wear) and a pair of boots that sometimes feel they fit better than other times and a tunic top that is best saved for when I have lost weight.

Do you not have any girlfriends to go shopping with you?  Never shop alone, well, unless you really want to.