First Time in a women's changing room where nobody knows me... Really worried

[Apples Mk.II]

I'm terrified about tomorrows. After yesterday's talk I have full permission to use the women's changing rooms at the gym, despite only going to use them for leaving my backpack and hoodie, and maybe refilling the water bottle. That solves the only point where I was skipping the RLT for an hour per day.


I've been told that I suffer any kind of harassment I only need to tell it, but I can't help it. I have no female voice. If I am asked anything, my cover is blown. And regarding my aspect with no free hair...

 




I'll be going like that, but without the under eye concealer and foundation, etc. I'll only keep the eyeliner, mascara and beard cover (all waterproof), and this night will close shave my legs and do my nails. Anyway, I'm worried abou upon entering being shouted "You are a man, get or I will call security or the manager". I can only say "The manager sent me here since it could be dangerous in the men's rooms. But I don't feel I look like a woman like that. I'm terribly scared and considering going back to the men's are with a big t-shirt as usual. I feel that without no voice, I can't be trusted.




Yes, you are going to tell me "Why did you went full time without voice training"? My urge was big, and I am too anxious and panicky about trying the voice training (low tolerance and frustration, it's crippling), which I haven't been able to figure on my own (I have only been able to nearly erase the chest resonance).

[Robin Mack]

Short of simply refusing to speak, I would say working with your therapist to help you get past/through any issues that might be making vocal training more difficult for you might be worth a shot...

I've seen all kinds of body types in gyms... given your pictures and presentation I really don't think I'd look twice at you coming out of/into the womens' changing room.

*hug*  Congratulations on pushing forward, from your earlier posts this is kind of a milestone for you, and you should be very proud of getting there! 

[Lauren5]

You've just got to do your best. You've already got that in terms of appearance. Just try your best at the voice m even if it's not perfect yet, just keep working at it.

[mm]

Apple Sprout, have confidence you look like many of the girls at the gym, they are there to exercise not talk or show off.   

[Ms Grace]

Maybe just work on being able to smile and say "hi" passably as you dash past, I find that's the minimum that's required from women who don't know each other in those environments. I think it's reasonable to say that women are more sociable and chatty than men, even in change rooms, so a heads down say nothing approach could raise some suspicions. Just relax and everything should go OK. Good luck.

[FrancisAnn]

Women love to talk as we know? Not sure, can you try & use a higher pitch & practice some???

Good luck.

Francis

[Apples Mk.II]

Women love to talk as we know? Not sure, can you try & use a higher pitch & practice some???

Good luck.

Francis

it's a bit too late right now. Yesterday i spend another 25 minutes and I can say thAt it sounds totally different from my real unaltered voice, but thats having los the resonance. Now I seem to be able to keep more on it without sliding down, but it still sound weird... i am only in cd 1, breathing. If I want to reach the third (range expansion), I still hqve to survive cd2, warm up.

What I need is to keep going to the les group. They way of talking is something that may be closer to what I can do...

One hour to go, and idiot to me, I just took my spiro. Mi pulse rate ia going nto mess up qll the time

[Cindy]

Honey I have a voice that makes most fog horns jealous. I change and shower in the girls area, no issues. Oh I'm pre op as well. The only question so far has been where I get my nails done.

Relax

[Ms Grace]

One hour to go, and idiot to me, I just took my spiro. Mi pulse rate ia going nto mess up qll the time

All the best Apple, just relax, breathe, walk in there like you own the place, smile and see what happens.

I also have a deep voice but when crossing aim for a softer/lighter voice rather than a higher pitch because the latter usually makes me sound like Minnie Mouse and the former more like a Goddess! 

[Apples Mk.II]

Honey I have a voice that makes most fog horns jealous. I change and shower in the girls area, no issues. Oh I'm pre op as well. The only question so far has been where I get my nails done.

Relax

I always get the nails one. I got them done for the occasion. Too.

The red flag is that I'm wearing my men's running shoes... Its the only ones I have and I don't think women's shoes can be this good for running

[Cindy]

I can assure you, running shoes do not have gender

Lots of woman buy the best for them. No one cares!!!

Relax and enjoy!!!

[Cindy]

Oh BTW I went for dinner with the guard of the Adelaide Thunder Birds, she is 6' 7".
She could pick 90% of men up and throw then across the room. She is one very sexy lady.
Her legs are longer than most men's bodies, and she shows it!

Size 18 shoe, she wears male designed shoes.

Don't worry.
C

[Ms Grace]

Wow, what an Amazon! She would make me feel puny by comparison and I'm 6'3". Gotta love tall women!! 

[Apples Mk.II]

Just to record, I'm still alive.

The sensation was very similar to the first time I went outside in female alone. The caardiometer kept all the time in 155 (normal for me is 90-100), and in the moment of taking eliptica, directly at 170+. Which is the safe limit I have set  the cardiometer (and the machine starts ranting).

The experience itself was terrifying, but...

- When I entered I was alone, so I put everything as fast as possible. Somebody came and greeted me, but the locker's door was covering my face.

- Poop Happened when the tuck started to loosen in some exercises that were pressing the bollocks down. Then I went back to use the bathroom... Panic, since they were facing the showers. I did not even wash my hands for fear of another person already washing them

- At the end I was trapped in the middle of a group of women, and  I am worried about if holding doors could have clocked me (for me it's general courtesy). A lot of people were changing, so I put on my jacket in front of the locker without looking anywhere else and scram.

So little to no human interaction today, save from shopping for a can of beans later.





And yesterday I spent a long time preparing. Not only razoring my legs, but yup. Doing my nails as carefully as I could

[suzifrommd]

Some comments:

(1) I wholly support your decision to go full time even though your voice is not perfect.

(2) It's ok for us to use an all women's space, if we don't pass. WE'RE WOMEN, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!!! Where will we go if not to a women's space. We sure don't belong in the men's space.

(3) Having a non-passing voice does not ungender you. You don't need to pass to be a woman. You don't need anything. You ARE a woman.

(4) Have you listened to any of CandiFLA's youtube videos? They got my voice straightened out in short order. The idea is to raise your voicebox a fraction of an inch and then talk normally, and it filters out all the resonance that makes you sound male.

[Apples Mk.II]

I can confirm that I have wiped the chest resonance, but my problem now is finding the correct way of pronouncing words in a more female way, since despite sounding completely different to a male already, it's still something rather weird. And it is not falsetto since I am not able to talk after the point of closing my larynx. And on that, it does not help that most of the training systems are in english. Forming the words in spanish is quite different, and require going slightly to the chest at each consonant. And there is not a single damn method, save for paying a lot. For now I'm sticking to my general singing discs and learning how to not damage my voice through better breathing and warm-up. After those two, range increase comes next.

[Alainaluvsu]

Holding a door open is ok, just as long as you walk in and hold it open. Never pull it open from the outside and let a girl walk in unless she has a baby or something. But we all make mistakes at first. One of my mistakes was doing the head nod to guys that gave it to me. I think I accidentally did that the other day actually.