Maybe my alphabet soup orientation isn't so far out there after all? I have evolved with HRT. My baseline was being wired for girls with an occasional boy on the side every other blue moon. My first love as a child was a boy and I felt all the world like his wife, that in the context of ten years old. We were a hot little couple.
I discovered girls and that was that, or so I though. He did keep pursuing me for a few years after and I would give in. It faded away and I moved away. All Good.
As I evaluate the maybe a dozen interludes with men in my life, for the most part sex with men lacks in lot of ways. My first boy was the only romance and relationship. All others were booty calls. Of all others, one I wanted to have his baby and then he carelessly stepped on me. Bye now! One other was also nearly as good at ringing my bell. A couple of thousand female partners later, I think males are low in my ratio. Since I started HRT I have not had a partner. After recovering from a sex addiction, I learned my self respect and something I never knew existed; boundaries. Well that's different. Today I won't be a hit and run victim. Fast forward to the start of my HRT.
I like the fantasy of men and a toy boy friend far more than the baggage and disappointments of the real thing. Women are the very best in person. They were the wave and the other fantasies the undertow. Trans girls that were not exaggerated pictures made me hot too, but most jealously I wanted to be one of them. Now I are one! There is also a wonderful new world inside me since estrogen that I didn't know I desperately needed. But then at that point I did not know I was intersexed. it was about nine months to a year when my sexuality changed. Not to be confused with orientation.
I started having female orgasms and girl are they over the top! The male O was a fire cracker pop and the female Os are a wonderful fireworks with a grand finale! Sometimes I have to go through the boy O to get to the girl O, but if I am patient and explore all the wonder buttons all over my body and don't stroke down there. I get wonderfully pure female orgasms. That is one single sexed people don't get! Ha! Trans has it's perks. On the beginning doses of estrogen I only had to contend with puberty.
My health on HRT improved dramatically and I begged my Doctor to ramp me up to the max. He did and the side effect I didn't anticipate is a second adolescence. I may be the oldest screwiest school girl on the planet. I adore trans people I think I could make that click. Women still turn my head and my heart. Men???
I get little romantic notions: I want a white wedding gown regardless, some special men close to me are becoming very attractive. I want to know what it's like to interact with men as female and it be reciprocated. That does not mean men can buy me a happy meal and get a free home run. I'm not a box of Cracker Jacks. I want to be treated as a human, I think men have a great difficulty relating to us as humans. I am not a fetish. So I sit and wait for me. I'm not all grown up anyway.
Today I am not fond of toys. I no longer like to be penatrated. I do want that when I'm post op. If I never have another male O amd only have female Os I will be thrilled. I do have a lot of sex, but I more fantisize about having it with a loving friend or caring partner that understands that right now I need to go slow and explore. Maybe that is just too much to ask from adult humams. Hug. Joann
