How fluid is your gender?

[JenSquid]

In my last session with my therapist, she commented that I seemed to be rather genderfluid, and that I seemed to be more comfortable with that fluidity than I realized. Granted, I'd argue that I'm far more comfortable with elements of myself than I am with myself as a whole, else I wouldn't need therapy, but that's a different matter all together. Rather, it got me thinking, to what degree is genderfluidity the realm of non-binaries, and to what degree does it affect transsexuals? I mean, even cis-people have some combination of masculine and feminine, so how much fluidity would one expect in, say, a MtF transsexual? I ask this as I try to figure out where I am. I've always been somewhat androgynous, and I don't see that androgyny disappearing any time soon, and yet there's part of me that feels wrong as male and wishes I'd been female. As such, I wanted to ask, how genderfluid do you tend to be? I'm especially curious about those who decided to transition, and if so, if it helped? Was genderfluidity a coping mechanism, or part of your own core identity?

[MaryXYX]

This must be a very individual question for each of us.  I don't feel gender fluid.  I did have a progression from masculine to "masculine with some femininity" to feminine, but now I really feel I've found the real me.

[Edge]

I agree with <3.

[LordKAT]

I agree with <3.

[Jennygirl]

The way I like to present and be read by others:

female, at all times.


The way I like to feel inside:

whateverthe**** feels right for the particular moment I think it's a form of genderfluidity not to care at all whether or not your actions are feminine / masculine. So therefore, I definitely see myself as genderfluid.

I like feeling unshackled from binary structures that have been jammed down my throat. Absolutely love it.

[TerriT]

Too goddamn fluid for my liking. I'd rather not have to deal with guy mode and this will take me longer than I'd like, but it's not only up to me. I wouldn't say I flow very well as a guy though.

[Jamie D]

I am very gender fluid.  What I do not know or understand is how much of the "fluidity" is a function of my male socialization, as compared to my innate femininity.  I was taught to suck it up as a male, to take it on the chin, and to stand up and dish it out in kind.

[Tessa James]

My gender identity feels fluid enough to allow a range of presentation and expression while trending to feminine and, who knows, I may yet consider myself a woman.  I have gratefully given up on acting like a man but like Jamie am unable to parse the nature nurture divide internally.  This girl does duck when she throws a dish.

Some situations just seem to work better when we can bring all of our life experience and talent to the table?

[Xhianil]

My gender is firmly female, not male at all, stupid wrong body...

[Tessa James]

My gender is firmly female, not male at all, stupid wrong body...

Of course it is stupid it has no mind of it's own??   Just teasing a bit but, honestly I used to feel like I was just a caretaker for that body and, with transition, now feel so very much closer to an innate truth.

Till you get to that kick off date on your ticker the changes may be less outwardly visible but still still something you can well imagine or feel??

[Xhianil]

Till you get to that kick off date on your ticker the changes may be less outwardly visible but still still something you can well imagine or feel??

The ticker is counting down till i can leave home and start trying to transition.

[Skittles]

My gender fluid? About fifty weight and maybe a quart low. LOL!

Funny you should ask though. I have always been bi-gendered and I guess female and male in many areas. Being a Siamese twin in one vessel, I was outwardly compressed to male mode. "New day here Pal, you're outta here! And take your grimy fingernails with you!" I won't drone on about how much my physiology changed on hormones, just trust me I am a girl. Keeping me stuffed in the closet was a real chore! He gave up. I win! See girl persistence pays off.

I got to sneak out in the bedroom a lot though. My wives probably never knew how many times mentally they penetrated me. Also I don't have a partner now and that's OK, too. I hope it is not TMI to share that when I make love to me, my boy bits turn into girl bits. I am digital, so toys are not necessary. No details please.

When asked about my sexuality by my girl friends, I have to candidly reply that I think the best partner for me would have to be caring, exploring, discoveries like the eyes of a child, taking it very slow and very gender fluid. I don't hold out much hope for someone like that in my own peer group, I don't want someone young either. When I started my journey I did have accept that it may be the end of sex with any partners. I conceded to that as the injection of estrogen entered my body.

What I got was a whole lot more! I love who I am, even if others can't quite figure out who I am. Me gender fluid? I rate at about a 50/50. Hug. Joann

[Lo]

No gender to be fluid with to begin with!

Just a constant, steady nothingness for me. Okay, it's not like a void at all, but pretend that identities are like balls in a ball pit. You take one out and the ones around it adjust to fill the space it left behind. I guess that's a sort of fluidity, just... No gender to be seen.

[Night Haven]

My gender has stuck around neutrois or agender for a while, though I'll flirt with a male identity every so often. Before everything settled down, I was shifting through types of androgyne, though my outward presentation has remained largely the same.

I expect both of these things to change again after surgery. Part of my reason for presenting male is that I don't want to be registered as female; once my voice is deeper and I no longer have breasts, everyone can expect me to start wearing skirts again - this time, preferably with no top (oh, how I've ached to be able to show off a masculine chest).

I find my sexual preferences change a bit as well. Although I'll always be pan, the gender(s) I prefer can change with my own gender and dysphoria.

[Natkat]

In my last session with my therapist, she commented that I seemed to be rather genderfluid, and that I seemed to be more comfortable with that fluidity than I realized. Granted, I'd argue that I'm far more comfortable with elements of myself than I am with myself as a whole, else I wouldn't need therapy, but that's a different matter all together. Rather, it got me thinking, to what degree is genderfluidity the realm of non-binaries, and to what degree does it affect transsexuals? I mean, even cis-people have some combination of masculine and feminine, so how much fluidity would one expect in, say, a MtF transsexual? I ask this as I try to figure out where I am. I've always been somewhat androgynous, and I don't see that androgyny disappearing any time soon, and yet there's part of me that feels wrong as male and wishes I'd been female. As such, I wanted to ask, how genderfluid do you tend to be? I'm especially curious about those who decided to transition, and if so, if it helped? Was genderfluidity a coping mechanism, or part of your own core identity?

I think it's a good questions. I feel rather strange both felling and living like a casual guy yet having view and thinking and fellings that gender is just more than the binary.
In one way I feel like im too binary to be genderqueer, bigender, pangender or whatever it called, yet The transexual categori can be VERY binary at times which also make me feel too nonbinary for the fit. somethimes it gives trouble as there comes the whole
"your not really trans if" bla bla or I had an ague with one who didnt belive you could be both transexuals and nonbinary at the same time.

I think alot of guys and girls may be more fluent than they apears to be but I think its hard for many to get out with it in a way so maybe its abit more easy for people who already is trans to express or not depending on the situation. I have some transexual places where it all extremly binary and I feel unconfortable but I also has friends who is transexual but they dont think much about gender ther more just "people" who just feel more confortable to live as men or woman.

I dont think my fluidness is so much about the same felling as ex bigender feels that there both, it more like I have this belife and view that we are more than just men and woman in general. Reading and seeing so many diffrent kinds of genders it makes it hard for me to belive otherwise. when that said I also want to be openminded for this that you can be whatever gender in whatever way and somethimes I want to express that in what I like who may not seam totally masculine, (ex I like to wear nailpolish)

whatever dose it make me im not sure, I guess just a person who both like girly and boyish stuff and just prefern to think of it as "stuff I like"

[Starla]

My gender is firmly female, not male at all, stupid wrong body...

Ditto.

[Sarah Louise]

No fluidity for me, firm woman.

[KabitTarah]

Having come out fairly recently... it feels like I flipped a switch. I've described it as breaking down a wall between my masculine and feminine halves. They are joining, but the female side was trapped for a long time and needs much more expression than the male side. I don't know if this will change.

On the other hand... I don't feel the need to wear a skirt constantly. In fact... I only have one and it's summery -- that will have to change, but while I transition, tight jeans and chunky sweaters makes me feel androgynously feminine. I'm all girl inside now, but that could easily change over time (or become cemented with HRT).

I guess my answer is... as someone just OOTC and pre-HRT... no, I do not feel gender fluid. My presentation is changing but my gender identity is not.

[Ashey]

I don't think I'm gender-fluid but my therapist did get me to think about different aspects of myself and got me to be more comfortable with what little masculinity I have. I'm a bit of a tomboy and a 'wrench wench'. That's a big part of my personality and persona. And I feel like I can embrace that more without feeling 'guilty' that I'm not feeling or being seen as feminine enough at any given time. I most definitely feel feminine, and I suppose female, but I feel like I don't need to cater to stereotypes.

[alicel]

Hi, I shall add my tuppence worth, but I am really not an expert on this.

I've never felt particularly masculine, and neither have I thought I'm a man.  If I ever asked myself many years ago, I have thought myself male and girly and wanted to have lots of babies, and I was a bit confused!  However I still had very liberal parents, even though I mum refused to let me out of the house with makeup on during my teenage years, and I do understand why!

I could not define gender fluidity because I've been unable to see myself anything other than really a girl or women!  When I was younger I did not have words for this and was unable to define this. None the less, I still did lots of boy things, because boy things and girl things should not be mutually exclusive for anybody. I've never felt gender fluid and my gender feels pretty fixed.

Bye!