Good and Bad Feelings When Dressing

[Robin Mack]

For some time, clothing changes (at least at home, since I am working in boy mode) have really helped affirm my identity.  They do feel better.  The euphoria I felt the first couple of times has faded, alas.

I'm pre-HRT (come on, January!) and the dysphoria (feeling that my body is wrong, hatred of it) is growing by leaps and bounds.  If I want to go out in real me mode, I really feel like I need to do makeup, at least, smoothing my face and neck with foundation, fixing my eyes up, and (although you wouldn't guess it from my profile pic) putting on a wig.  Getting a wig helped me go from smirks and eye rolls wherever I went to smiles and nods... it was like a magic talisman, hiding my jaw line and my baldness while shadowing my adam's apple.  I feel so right out in the world being treated like a woman (maybe even passing for one, when my mannerisms and voice are rocking), only to feel dead and paralyzed at home.  I have been spending much of my home time wearing male clothing (that I wore to work) because it doesn't feel like it is worth the effort to change into something more comfortable to my soul.

And I hate that, because it feels like giving up.

So yes, I think I can relate... at least in those moments spent looking in the mirror, attempting to cover the damage of decades of T exposure.  *sigh*

Lots of hugs all around!

[Genzen]

because it doesn't feel like it is worth the effort to change into something more comfortable to my soul.

Robin, maybe just get some at home cozy clothes that are femme, something soft and comfy?

[KaylaH]

I've had more than my fair share of trying on girls clothes and having that horrible mood dropping sensation when you look in the mirror.

It may be that my body is finally starting to change and that the girls clothes I wear now actually fit slightly better, so for me I tend to go around wearing girls jeans or hoodies, no one notices at all. The only thing people say is that I look slimmer, mostly because I wear such baggy clothing normally to hide two certain things on my chest that are becoming way too noticeable in boy mode.

I guess its all about dressing to your body type, not things that you desperately want to work.

[Robin Mack]

Robin, maybe just get some at home cozy clothes that are femme, something soft and comfy?

Thanks... yeah, I do change into PJ's before bed.  Nice fuzzy ones, and it does help some.   Just not practical to put on my women's clothes only to have to change them right away because I have to go out to run an errand. 

[RavenMoon]

Robin, maybe just get some at home cozy clothes that are femme, something soft and comfy?

Good idea! What I do, and I have to point out that I'm self employed, so I don't have to deal with a work situation, is buy unisex clothes. I look for things that would look good on a girl, without being too girly. I wear skinny jeans, and lately have been buying girls jeans (admittedly I'm rather small, But there are lots of tall girls out there!) and crew neck pull over tops that don't look out of place on a guy.

On Halloween at my daughter's school, one of the parents wondered if in was wearing a costume! She thought I was supposed to be Lou Reed (don't ask me why! I sure don't look like him), but I guess it was the CBGB tee shirt and blue nail polish! I told her I was just dressed in my everyday clothes and she said "oh, sorry! You have a very androgynous look". Yes! lol

Things I do that people don't see is my undies and I often wear footless tights under my pants,unless it's hot. At home I wear black leggings. I often sleep in those too.

My 22 year old son lives with me, and doesn't know yet, so I can't dress entirely how I want at home, except when I'm getting ready for bed.   

All these little things makes me feel better. 

[Tessa James]

Genzen, it helped that I assumed I would never pass, and I concentrated on looking the best I could. I resolved to show the world the face of transgender - confident, intelligent, and proud. There are many kinds of women in the world and some of them look like men in women's clothing. Doesn't make them any less feminine, or any less beautiful.

This is 100% True for me too.

Initially my dressing en femme and being out full time this grand year was exhilarating, liberating and like lightning striking.  It was an affirming epiphany and I almost threw every male clothing item away.  Glad now I saved some for garden and trail work.
Further along in this journey I am still thrilled by the ability to wear what I want and feel my girl set free.  Some others, way past transition, note it becomes no big deal and just a matter of fact; ya gotta get dressed to leave the house.  I might take an extra hour now to dress with choices and fun to feel lace, clingy items and more.  For me only an occasional glimpse of the guy I once tried to be remains.  Dressing brings mostly good feelings for this old girl.

[KelsieJ]

I've had more than my fair share of trying on girls clothes and having that horrible mood dropping sensation when you look in the mirror.

I get that a lot........I had years and years of T shots before switching to E, so I built up a lot of muscle mass.......hoping I can find a way to fix that as time progresses.

My face is passable I think, but my body definitely not :/ I have the basic shape already, just not proportioned properly.

Time will probably help

Kelsie