Welcome Abadguy.
Porn is fantasy.
A person has feelings and get hurt from false intentions and being used or mislead.
If you and a Pre-Op Trans* mutually agree for a one night stand understanding it is for sex only, up front, then that is one thing because both are taking advantage of each other for mutual gratification. However, leading a person on and taking advantage with no intention of making a relationship is hurtful and demeaning.
I am married and love my wife. I have never cheated on her nor will I cheat on her in the future. Sex to me with a female is difficult prior to HRT due to being in a totally black mental state. Sex took extreme concentration. Having a very very low desire for sex did not help our relationship either. This is my fault not hers. I had sex with my wife because I love her.
Now on HRT I enjoy the feeling of being with her, touching her and kissing her. I enjoy the act of being close to her when we have sex, which is not often (again my fault). I sometimes have a female climax during our making love but most of the time fake it when she climaxes. I am not desiring sex but I desire the closeness and feeling of being one with my wife.
We are trying to adjust to me and my changes. She has endured emotional pain due to the love she feels for my old me and the present me. I am changing physically and it scares her. I have tears running down my face as I type.
I hope you can find that special person some day and love that person and experience the pain of being separated for a day or two and the joy of being reunited. I hope your lover makes you feel warm and safe in their arms. I hope when you separate for the final time your heart is broken never to mend. Then you will know true love.
Sex is very overrated and love rocks!
