Quote from: Sharon Lynn on November 30, 2013, 04:08:29 AM
Thanks everyone for your input. I'll try to feel out how willing he'll be to talk to someone later this morning or this weekend. Not gonna push too hard, I don't want him pulling away, but we'll see how it goes 
Sorry if I mistyped anything, it's the 4 am feeding time, its dark in here. little sleep, one hand on the bottle, using the on screen keyboard, and most importantly, no coffee!
Aww hun, that was probably the nicest thing anyone's said to me! Dunno how much it would have helped though, imagine having a type 1 bipolar mom and a dad that secretly wants to be the mom instead, and 6 siblings all fighting for attention!
My Mom is a straight up crack-hooker, and was a heroine addict for most of my life. She beat me and brothers pretty bad. And my dad(and his last two wives) are all bible thumping recovering alcoholics. Hes also a racist, sexist, trans/gay-phobe. If it werent for me and my gay step sister, i dont think he would ever respect women or trans/gay folks at all. You both sound like dream parents to me, who really care about your kids. Your kids will realize how amazing you guys are as they get older. Even i've managed to reconcile with both my parents after everything ive been through with them.
If you give them love and attention, they will love you no matter what. Kids these days are pretty smart, and generally alot more accepting of others than in the past. My best friends kids are 19-20, they werent even phased to see me in girls clothes(ive known them and seen them regularly for about 3 years). My step-sister and her GF's kids 14, 15 and 18, two younger boys and an older girl, couldnt have been happier for me coming out.
If i had someone at that age to help me out like you, my life would be changed in such positive ways, i cannot even imagine how different things would be. 15 is where i first started discover about my transgender self, it was confusing and scary. I wore makeup on and off and dressed like a regular girl for Halloween, much of this seemed strange to others and got me ridiculed at school. Simply being there with an open ear, and even a little bit of advice can go a long way.
You should also let him know, that the feeling doesnt get better if he ignores it. Get him to a therapist, but make it his idea :-) My parents forced me into a therapist and psychiatrists office at that age and i clammed up really hard. And when he goes, please let everything that he says be with the therapist as much as you can. I was deeply embarrassed about my own issues at that age, and my dad going into the therapist right after i did, and hearing what i said only made me defiant and feel betrayed.
I'd also share with him, the challenges of deciding to transition later in life, as opposed to at 15, but without trying to push him into it. I'm not sure i could have comprehended the $$ Cost of transitioning later in life or that, my body could have been much more feminine now, if i had started then. I personally feel its important for transfolks to be able to get the help they need at an early as possible age, to minimize the problems that go along with transitioning later in life. Learning how to socialize on a female level and living as one into adulthood would have given me a social edge on being female that generally learning much younger. Now im struggling to play catchup socially.
